SIL has covid and wants us to come for xmas

[Friendsoftheearth]

SIL, BIL and all three dc are just recovering from covid, they will be allowed out again in a few days - despite some of them being relatively high risk they were all ill but fine, so very relieved and happy about that.

However this evening SIL has invited us to her house for christmas - in laws have already passed away - and we are the only family she has. The can't come to us as one of their dc will need to work, and will be joining us later.

SIL said it is great news as she now can't catch covid, so we can relax. DH does not see it that way, and does not want to go, he is worried her house will be covered in covid, and sees the grown up dc as still a risk as no doubt they will go out and party for England. They are late teens and do love to party, which is why they were probably ill in the first place.

Is it is true we are now relatively 'safe' as it will be a month by the time we get to christmas? Are they are a fairly safe bet, or are they still a risk? I know you can get covid twice, but the antibodies are likely to last longer than a month surely? Dh is digging up info that confirms covid stays on surfaces for up to 76 days, and we are putting ourselves and children at risk by even considering seeing them.

I am close to SIL and would like to see them, but not if we are all going to be ill afterwards. DD asthmatic, but otherwise 49-55 age bracket with teen dc. Thank you!

@Friendsoftheearth

camp he needs to drive! There is no way I am going to stay sober on the one and only christmas outing I am likely to have!!

So hang on, are you talking about going for Christmas day, with your husband driving there and back the same day? YABU for expecting him to drive you, so that you can get pissed with your SIL, especially when he doesn't even want to go.

[quote Unsure33]@TheKeatingFive

“ But Dr Bharat Pankhania, clinical lecturer at the University of Exeter, says that rather than try to keep a running list of how the virus operates on various different surfaces and when you last cleaned them in your head, “your mindset needs to be that everything, everyone, everywhere is contaminated. And whatever you handle is a potential risk.”[/quote]
Selectively quoted

She continues:
"But that doesn’t mean you need to be afraid of everything you touch, it just means you need to keep up with washing your hands. “Do it meticulously every two hours, mindfully,” Dr Pankhania says, and that is the solution.”

I’m staying at home with the kids this year.
Normally go and see both nans but as I work in the community it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

From what I gather they don’t know how common immunity is or how long it lasts for. So there’s no saying they won’t catch it again. Especially if the teenagers are out partying.
It’s not a risk I would take (and I don’t think for one second the house would be covered in covid!!)
But that’s just my personal choice.

I’m quite looking forward to a quiet day with my little ladies as it’s normally me doing the running around!!!

He is of course not saying "everything you touch is contaminated". He means that you should think that way in order to have that two hourly handwash, rather than thinking "do I need to, because those surfaces were probably okay?"

If you want to go drive yourself hes not your chauffeur

We’re facing a ‘fresh out of lockdown’ Xmas in Melbourne- literally zero cases- and it’s surprising how many people are finding it hard to ‘emerge’ into a normal(ish) life and accept invitations.
I think I'd be like that while the virus is still evident in the rest of the world, better to error on the side of caution. I know even when this is all gone hand sanitizing will still be a thing and people will probably be a bit more choosy about why they hug-Id say air kissing is gone for good with most people

That’s pretty basic information that can be found via google

Famous last words.

your mindset needs to be that everything, everyone, everywhere is contaminated. And whatever you handle is a potential risk.

Recent science has pretty comprehensively debunked fomite transmission as a major risk.

They do like to keep things simple for the the masses, but in fairness, all the washing shopping messages and so on have been dialled way back now that they know more.

Some of us at work have driven trucks previously driven (on same day) by people who then tested positive and I'm not aware of anyone having caught it this way. Both drivers a required to wipe down the cab but there are dozens of switches and buttons.

I would go with no worries at all. I think your DH sounds like he’s suffering from health anxiety about this. But as they’ve all had it they are the best people to visit. And the surface stuff is nonsense. Could you go anyway? He stay at home?

This thread illustrates perfectly the issue in our house! With those in the dh camp saying we don't know enough about this virus to be confident, and others in my camp saying my SIL must be the safest house to be in this christmas.

The one striking point stood out, and this incapsulates dh's position:

I wonder if those who have had it can carry it. Like people can with chicken pox

I believe he thinks people can be carriers, and it can take months to fully leave a person's system. There is some credit to this point of view, as people DO seem to suffer from relapses and long covid. The fact is that he does not think we can be sure, or that we know enough about the virus.

Just so people don't think I am a complete CF, we usually leave early so it takes closer to two hours and I drive, and dh usually drives home in the evening - he is indifferent to a glass or two of wine, and can happily drink soft drinks. I, on the other hand will make the most of every chance I get to enjoy myself especially after spending so much time at home this year.

I think he will agree to come - we will drive straight there and back, just hope he does stay well, as I will never live this one down otherwise!

he is worried her house will be covered in covid

How ridiculous. Even given the lack of evidence that you can actually pick it up from surfaces, Christmas is 30 days away. It would have to be the hardiest virus in the world, ever.

If people “continued to be carriers” there would be no point in a vaccine 🤷🏻‍♀️

I believe he thinks people can be carriers, and it can take months to fully leave a person's system.

Well he’s wrong.

If that was true, we’d have to quarantine anyone who’s had Covid for months after the fact.

I believe he thinks people can be carriers, and it can take months to fully leave a person's system. There is some credit to this point of view, as people DO seem to suffer from relapses and long covid

Isn’t long Covid the after effects of Covid not that you do still have Covid.

People might not know everything about this disease but your dh knows even less and I think is making up stuff to suit his agenda.

Long Covid is not due to continued infection. It’s post viral problems. The same as with lots of viral infections.

If people carried on being infectious then why do you think they let footballers back on the pitch after a positive test?
And why isn’t every player testing positive after a normal contact game?

If people carried on infectious, then why is the person in the household who had the infection first able to leave the house after 10 days when they feel able, where as the rest of the household have to wait 14 days from the first infection.

Having Covid now is about the safest position to be in in terms of being potentially infectious towards Christmas.

Traces of Covid detected on objects does not mean it's in a state capable and sufficient to infect people.

When friends of dds had Covid in October (university house share) they had to isolate and 10-14 days later had to go for another test and if it wasn’t negative then they had to isolate for 5 more days and go back for tests until they had a negative one.

I believe he thinks people can be carriers, and it can take months to fully leave a person's system.

But people who test positive in hospital only get to leave once they test negative, they are in hospital for weeks, not months.

This was on BBC mainstream tea time news where they spoke to the senior nurse on the covid ward who said they were 3/4 full but with covid positive patients taking up the beds who were fine but waiting to have a negative test so they can go back to their care homes.

* I’d feel safer going now I knew they’d all had it . Your dh is being melodramatic*

^This. I’m suffering from long Covid, having gone down with the virus very early on in the pandemic, and my DD2 (8) also had it back then. We haven’t caught it again during this second wave (I catch every virus going round normally).

Yes, I think your DH is being OTT.

he's being ridiculous, how long does he think the virus lives on surfaces?

Where my son works 6 out of the 30 have had covid, at the same time, they all isolated and are now all back to working together inside for 8 hours each day. No further cases since then, 3 weeks ago.

I’m sure it will be ok by then to go to their house.

I live in a city (abroad) that did mass testing and found a number of people who’d had COVID and recovered, a small number still had enough virus in their system to come up as positive, despite having been clear of symptoms for up to 4 weeks.

So I wouldn’t be so sure that they couldn’t be a risk to you at all, it may be rare but it’s not impossible.

There’s also the risk of the young adults partying because they feel immune and getting other viruses.

I haven't RTFT but the tests they did on covid staying on surfaces was not covid in mucus as it would be when spread from an infected person. Given there are active antimicrobial abilities in mucus then naturally occurring covid on surfaces will last a lot less time than covid virus alone on surfaces in a lab. I agree it will be one of the safest places to go. Even if they are not very covid secure between now and then it is very likely they will be protected by antibodies for well over a month. Proven double infections are extremely rare.

"a small number still had enough virus in their system to come up as positive, despite having been clear of symptoms for up to 4 weeks."

But that doesn't mean they're contagious, does it?