SIL has covid and wants us to come for xmas

[Friendsoftheearth]

SIL, BIL and all three dc are just recovering from covid, they will be allowed out again in a few days - despite some of them being relatively high risk they were all ill but fine, so very relieved and happy about that.

However this evening SIL has invited us to her house for christmas - in laws have already passed away - and we are the only family she has. The can't come to us as one of their dc will need to work, and will be joining us later.

SIL said it is great news as she now can't catch covid, so we can relax. DH does not see it that way, and does not want to go, he is worried her house will be covered in covid, and sees the grown up dc as still a risk as no doubt they will go out and party for England. They are late teens and do love to party, which is why they were probably ill in the first place.

Is it is true we are now relatively 'safe' as it will be a month by the time we get to christmas? Are they are a fairly safe bet, or are they still a risk? I know you can get covid twice, but the antibodies are likely to last longer than a month surely? Dh is digging up info that confirms covid stays on surfaces for up to 76 days, and we are putting ourselves and children at risk by even considering seeing them.

I am close to SIL and would like to see them, but not if we are all going to be ill afterwards. DD asthmatic, but otherwise 49-55 age bracket with teen dc. Thank you!

48 hrs on surfaces. At school we quarantine books that long.

Definitely low risk going there and your husband seems to be worrying unnecessarily. I wouldn't be concerned about being with people who'd had and recovered from Covid. It won't be all over the door handles and surfaces etc, that's a bizarre viewpoint. They're very unlikely to have it again so I'd think it's better to spend time with them at Christmas than anyone else as it's so low risk.

He's being ridiculous. And I'm surprised that there are other people on this thread who would also be worried about it.

It's this sort of thinking that is going to stop people from being tested/admitting to being positive for Covid. If it's going to make them persona non grata even within their own families, they're not going to want anyone to know.

Three days is as long as the virus can actually infect anyone, outside of the host. Traces of the virus can be found in the Covid+ person outside the quarantined period, but it can't be shed outside the body and infect anyone. Likewise any trace left on a surface after three days is powerless to infect anyone.

Christmas is a month away. You should go, and your husband should educate himself and stop being an idiot.

We’re facing a ‘fresh out of lockdown’ Xmas in Melbourne- literally zero cases- and it’s surprising how many people are finding it hard to ‘emerge’ into a normal(ish) life and accept invitations. We had one of the longest, hardest shutdowns on the planet. It’s clearly going to take a good while for people to put their health anxiety somewhere rational in their minds. It’s been right upfront for so long.

Interestingly, I’m finding it’s the people with no prior experience of chronic anxiety who are the most nervous? Especially about making indoor Xmas plans. Those of us with experience seem to have our coping strategies in place, and are somehow more able to pivot into this new life.

I’m also noticing many men having your DH’s issue. I think they may be more ‘black & white’ in their thinking? Hard for them to swing the pendulum towards ‘white’, after so much Covid blackness? If you already think in shades of grey, or rainbow, you can more easily absorb and act on new information, rules, etc. That’s my theory, anyway!

@saraclara agree, the stigma and the leper syndrome people are being tarnished with is uncomfortable and will put people off being tested if they are made to feel dirty.

Science says covid doesn’t last on surfaces past 48 hours, so I hardly think there’s going to be anything left there at Xmas.

@TheKeatingFive

So why do you think they tell you to wash your hands ?

Of course it is .

And especially don’t touch your eyes .

She wouldn't even need to clean, it will have died anyway.

Everyone's an expert on Mumsnet.

Viruses aren't living so they can't die.

It's unlikely to survive in their home but there's no cast iron guarantee they're all no longer infectious. Government guidelines pick a path through the middle.

Probably fine. Is probably good enough for your dp? Probably not!

His reasoning is so absurd that if I was your SIL I'd assume you were looking for an excuse not to go.

Your DH is being daft. The house can’t be “covered in COVID”. They won’t necessarily be immune, but it will be no different to visiting someone else.

It was found after 72 hours in laboratory conditions. Very large quantities, greater than would be there from someone sneezing, were placed on surfaces and left in the dark (UV light kills Covid). After 72 hour traces were found. They were not tested to see if they were still cable of causing infection.

The best link I can find that isn't behind a paywall or a thousand questions about cookies.

The virus won't stay in her house till Christmas.

So why do you think they tell you to wash your hands

To protect yourself from droplet/aerosol transmission that landed on your hands.

On fomite transmission read this

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7333993/

Everyone's an expert on Mumsnet

You don’t have to be a virologist to know that covid can’t last on surfaces for over a month 😆
That’s pretty basic information that can be found via google, no need for a medical degree lol

I wouldn't want to go to someone's house under normal circumstances if I thought they were unlikely to clean it for a month, either! 😂

On a serious note, the teens might be a bit of a worry if I felt nervous about transmission/catching something.

Can you be sure SIL and her family won’t have any visitors to their house who might unknowingly be infected and touch surfaces.

I wouldn’t go, if the teenagers are out and about you don’t know who else is out and about at their house..

Your husband doesn’t want to go, so say no.

You can catch Covid twice!

think its a bit harsh to call him an diot seeing as the scientists dont even know how it works yet

When you had reoccurring Norovirus - are you 100% you all just didn't develop temporary lactose intolerance after the Noro and so carry on having diarrhoea each time you tried eating dairy?

It's very common after Noro.

By Christmas they’ll have recovered and any virus in their house will be dead. It’s not an issue. What is an issue is having three teens who go out and about - I wouldn’t expose myself or my family to that.

I can't think of anything less relaxing, as an anxious person, than having to drive for two or three hours there and back on a motorway, to my sister's place, where I am going to be concerned I may pick up Covid, and then spend the next fortnight worrying whether or not I have... Meanwhile, my wife thinks I am being silly, and we must go, and I must drive, so she can have a few drinks...

@NeonIcedcoffee

If your husband still thinks the house will be covered in covid a month later you've got way bigger problems than where you go for Christmas.

Agree!!

Ask yourself this: Why is Johnson in self-isolation right now?

Because his fiance is now running the country and telling him how it should be done. You rules, be seen to stick to them.

*your

@TheKeatingFive

“ But Dr Bharat Pankhania, clinical lecturer at the University of Exeter, says that rather than try to keep a running list of how the virus operates on various different surfaces and when you last cleaned them in your head, “your mindset needs to be that everything, everyone, everywhere is contaminated. And whatever you handle is a potential risk.”