To complain to the class teacher?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

For the last few weeks DS has been complaining that in a certain lesson he has been seated next to a student who, quite frankly, is a pain in the arse. According to DS he’s always talking, messing around and drawing attention to himself, and the poor behaviour is preventing DS from concentrating on his own work. DS is a good student, he gets good marks, always does his work and I’ve never had a bad word from school about his conduct.

I’ve been telling DS that if he wants to be moved then he needs to tell the teacher. DS is a bit short on confidence so needs a lot of encouragement and reassurance in order to speak up for himself. Today he’s come home and told me he told the teacher that this kid was preventing him from being able to concentrate and he’d asked her if he could be moved. The teacher refused, her response was, ‘I’ve sat x there because I know you two (DS and another female student) are sensible.’

I am bloody annoyed about this. Well behaved students aren’t there to help teachers manage the behaviour of more challenging students, and why should my DS suffer because the teacher wants him to act as a buffer for someone elses disruptive behaviour? Should DS start playing up in lessons so he can get moved next to some less disruptive kids? Not only that, the teacher has refused to listen to DS’s POV and refused his request because it’s inconvenient for her to do so.

AIBU to complain to the teacher about this?

You need to let the teacher know that this child is misbehaving in the lesson and it is impacting your child. It is the child's disruptive behaviour that needs addressing. Moving him away will still impact your child - classrooms really aren't that big!

Your child is not being asked to manage the other child's behaviour. They are being asked to do their work. However, it is bothering him trying to do so when sat next to this child, so let the teacher know he is being affected enough to mention it at home.

If a teacher cannot refer a child to receive support from a support worker and expect the best pupils to handle them for them, they actually need sacking! You are not just asking that pupil to do your job and be disrupted and lose precious education time but cannot do the job yourself.
Is that enough of a reaction for you.

My DS’s job is to go into school, behave himself, do his work and try his best, that is all, his job is not to assist in managing other student’s behaviour. He is there for his own good, not the good of the teacher. If that were the case then he would be getting paid as well.
OP’s

I totally agree. If the kid who is disruptive can’t for whatever reason manage to be quieter then they need to be sat apart. It’s unfair on those trying to concentrate and to sit two disruptive kids together is also unfair as they stand zero chance of being able to get anything done.

@Choccylips

If a teacher cannot refer a child to receive support from a support worker and expect the best pupils to handle them for them, they actually need sacking! You are not just asking that pupil to do your job and be disrupted and lose precious education time but cannot do the job yourself. Is that enough of a reaction for you.

Do you have any idea at all how these things work? The lack of funding. The faffing from LEA's. The time scales. The lack of power. Which is soul destroying and heartbreaking.

I can't go in tomorrow and say x struggles with a,b,c give me a support worker. Well I could but I'd be laughed at and I'd get fuck all.

Have you ever read a 12 page report that describes in detail all the difficulties a child faces and ends with "no further action will be taken"? Have you had to comfort the parents when they received it?

Have you ever supported a child that is unable to access the learning in mainstream ,even with a 1 to 1 but no spaces in a SEN school so he just gets dragged along all the way to year 5. In the mean time he's progressed (from completely non verbal,no fine or gross motor skills etc) to y1 level and still talking about ben and holly and peppa pig.

While I disagree with the teacher in the OP, you are talking shit.

We have no power to diagnose,appoint support workers,staff,funds or anything else.

@noblegiraffe

Some posters on this thread apparently have no idea what standard state school classrooms are like.

but they know that the school tries to accommodate to most annoying parents just to get them off their back

It does pay to be that parent and refuse for your child to be the victim and the one losing out.

There's not extra point to be earned at exam time if you had to put up with the nuisance of the class.

Support worker ??!!! I’ve been a teacher for over 20 years, thanks for the good laugh

Sirzy my LEA found a loophole so rarely allocates any at all. These past few years have been "fun".
Especially when they force us to take children we tell them we can't cope with and then deny the funding too.

Now they're using a new system and COVID as an excuse.

If a teacher cannot refer a child to receive support from a support worker and expect the best pupils to handle them for them, they actually need sacking!

Best sack them all, then, because absolutely no class teacher can ‘refer’ a child to a support worker in a mainstream school.

Your son sitting next to a disruptive child doesn’t mean he’s policing the child’s behaviour on behalf of the teacher! It’s more that if the child is playing up and your child ignores them, they’re more likely to stop as not getting the reaction they want!!

I usually just move the pain in the arses around every week or so. It's equal opportunities annoyance, which frankly is representative of society in general.

Tell teacher your kid is there to learn and not be a companion pony. Insist he's moved.

@asifiwould If a teacher is not capable of handling a disruptive pupil and expects another pupil to handle that child for them they should be sacked. They are obviously not doing the job properly in the first place. Why should the best pupils have to have such a disruption to their education because you teachers can't handle them. That is what you get support workers in for or don't you want to admit that you can't handle this child, do you feel a failure so use pupils as support workers so the head doesn't think the worse of you. You need to question yourself not me. I know what I would do if it was my child being used and disrupted.

@BeeDavis

Your son sitting next to a disruptive child doesn’t mean he’s policing the child’s behaviour on behalf of the teacher! It’s more that if the child is playing up and your child ignores them, they’re more likely to stop as not getting the reaction they want!!

And if they don't? Or the behaviour escalates including violence? Which is the point where well behaved children finally start speaking out.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

Sirzy my LEA found a loophole so rarely allocates any at all. These past few years have been "fun". Especially when they force us to take children we tell them we can't cope with and then deny the funding too.

Now they're using a new system and COVID as an excuse.

That doesn’t surprise me. I had to do a lot of shouting and fighting to get the funding (and as importantly the wording) for the 1-1 that me and school both knew he desperately needed.

Daft thing is having that support has took us from on the verge of having to move to specialist school in year 3 to thriving in year 6 and about to move to a mainstream secondary (with support). So for the sake of funding the support he could have ended up taking a place at a specialist school someone else needed.

[quote Choccylips]@asifiwould If a teacher is not capable of handling a disruptive pupil and expects another pupil to handle that child for them they should be sacked. They are obviously not doing the job properly in the first place. Why should the best pupils have to have such a disruption to their education because you teachers can't handle them. That is what you get support workers in for or don't you want to admit that you can't handle this child, do you feel a failure so use pupils as support workers so the head doesn't think the worse of you. You need to question yourself not me. I know what I would do if it was my child being used and disrupted.[/quote]
You're talking absolute crap.

The kid is talking. I've had kids who fling chairs around the room. Still no funding for a "support worker"

If a teacher is not capable of handling a disruptive pupil and expects another pupil to handle that child for them they should be sacked.

The child is in the OP is also doing a shit job of handling a disruptive pupil.

It's a shame that disruptive people exist really. What a pain.

@Choccylips

If a teacher cannot refer a child to receive support from a support worker and expect the best pupils to handle them for them, they actually need sacking! You are not just asking that pupil to do your job and be disrupted and lose precious education time but cannot do the job yourself. Is that enough of a reaction for you.

“The teacher needs sacking”!? Are you for real? It’s not that they won’t-you realise that? Actually, scrap that. Not only do you not seem to have a clue, you have completely misread the OP.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, most people don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, send a short email to the teacher explaining the situation and asking for a solution and then they move on with their lives...

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

If a teacher is not capable of handling a disruptive pupil and expects another pupil to handle that child for them they should be sacked.

The child is in the OP is also doing a shit job of handling a disruptive pupil.

It's a shame that disruptive people exist really. What a pain.

He shouldn't have to handle a disruptive pupil! He goes to school to learn. He should be managing his own behaviour and learning. Not other pupils'.

It doesn't matter if he's doing a shit or a great job. It's not his job.

I can't believe you just compared the responsibilities and abilities of a teacher with those of a child.

Yanbu op I hate this dd had it last year and it took me months to get it sorted. Sorry but teachers should have more say over who can and cant teach. If one child is constantly a little shit. Parents should then have to come collect their DC for the duration of that class so they are disrupted not a class of students willing to learn and an underpaid teacher.

Yes, managing behaviour is one of the teacher's responsibilities, but so is teaching the whole class, and actually, your son is part of that group and does have a role to play. Children need to learn to work cooperatively, and manage their own reactions, so if you want him in a classroom environment with peers (in the current climate, actually risking people's health and being allowed one of the only activities deemed essential in the budget of risk), he needs to get on with what he's there for and let the teacher control the dynamics.

I really hope you're not a teacher. You seem to have totally misunderstood what the phrase "work cooperatively" means. This kind of attitude is the reason why our young people's mental health is so poor. So many have constant anxiety at school due to the behaviour of the people around them. I work in a boys' school and sometimes the anxious, edgy atmosphere is palpable. I feel so sorry for the well-behaved quiet ones. Their job is to sit and concentrate on their work. That's all they have to do. If they are impeded in doing so then there is something drastically wrong. If any adult was impeded in doing their job by a colleague then there are avenues to go down. Please afford children the same allowances.

I would absolutely be talking to the school again, OP. Absolutely.

don't you want to admit that you can't handle this child

Do you work in schools?

There are always children that have been challenging to handle. Back in the day they'd have been packed off to borstal. Now that option doesn't exist, there are very few behavioural referral places.

Behaviour in my school (considered to be a school with strength in managing challenging behaviours):

Throwing chairs
Slamming doors in adult's faces
Pushing tables over
Ripping all the displays off walls
Pulling everything of shelves (the library is favourite for this)
Breaking things like furniture, tech equipment (intentionally)
Emptying bins
Outright refusal to do anything they are told
Climbing fences
Screaming continuously in classrooms
Shouting insults at adults, sometimes across classrooms
Yelling and screaming in the corridors
Attacking other children
Calling children cunts
Attacking adults
Smashing glass in fire doors (impressive)
Throwing things at adults
Hammering on the doors to get out
Running around corridors and classrooms (while class is in session) doing all/any of the above.

Some of the children doing this are as young as 5.

There hasn't been time to 'do' anything for these children. We can start them in the system for support, but it might take 5 years to get it. Meanwhile they are in mainstream education with no funding for support.

I can't handle the children above about 50% of the time. They are feral and inconsistent. Sometimes you have a good week and all is great, mostly you don't.

Personally, I blame the parents.

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot your post is fabulous. Equal opportunities!

Can I echo @asifiwould as a secondary school teacher of 30 years - classrooms are small and packed with pupils; sanctions are meaningless. Teachers are exasperated and powerless. Complain about the actual pupil to the actual headteacher - works wonders. Pushy parents can achieve more in one email than class teachers can in countless referrals. We know some pupils should not be in mainstream education; we know that as teachers we are toothless as there are no sanctions; we are trying our best and until money is invested in provision to accommodate mainstream pupils who clearly 'aren't' we can't do anything. Address the problem further up the school and maybe the class teacher will actually get the support they need!!

Absolutely agree with every word of this.

I can't believe you just compared the responsibilities and abilities of a teacher with those of a child.

I can't believe you thought it was a serious comment.