In asking did your parents go away without you when you were little?

[Stantons]

I often read on here about parents having holidays or nights away without their kids and a lot about separated parents doing this which I guess is more understandable. My parents never did this when I was a child 35 years ago is it a more recent thing?

yes - born 1970 - mum a single parent - she regularly went away over night or for a weekend - we where left with her mates (all had kids of the same age) and vice versa - had a bloody ball - at a push we went to our grandparents who where lovely but a bit stuffy.

and when we where all older all the mums used to go away in a big gang for the weekend to get away from the teenagers!

@LilaButterfly

To the people saying kids would feel unwanted: like i said before, i spent many nights at my grandparents or godparents, friends of my parents etc. I never felt unwanted. If anything, i was really excited about these nights and weekends away! My kids ask regularly when they get to sleepover and nanas again if they havent been for a few weeks. They love it! If they didnt want to, we obviously wouldnt go out, but at the moment it works well for everyone. Its good for kids to have more trusted people in their lives than just the parents. They will only profit from these close relationships.

But please understand not all children enjoy grandparents house. As I said we were made to go weekly and it was very boring we had no stuff or toys there. Not everyone is doted on by grandparents.

No. They went on a cruise for their 25th wedding anniversary when I was around 18. That was the first time.

My DH got sent to his GPs every weekend. I don't know why tbh. Think it was to give his parents a break?

A pp said earlier how it's funny that parents were happy to use GPs for childcare and now wont return the favour! Yes, that has been the case with us too tbh. Although my mum is dead and has been since before I even fell pregnant with dc1, so we let her off the hook! My dad is about as much use as a chocolate teapot with family stuff, much as I love him. DH's parents care for sil's kids but never ours. Bit shit, but there you have it!

My mum didn't but she was a lone parent without much support. I'm sure she would have if she had the chance.

I go away often for weekends without DS but I am divorced and share custody with my ex.

I remember them going to Spain once but being made up when they got back with loads of presents. I did used to spend weeks in the summer with the grandparents due to childcare as they both worked. So I guess whether they were working or going aboard made no difference as I was still staying away from home. Had a great time with my grandparents during those weeks.

Not before I was about 15. I’m 40.

I wouldn’t do it to my own children.

Poor DH was shipped to his grandparents each Saturday morning. He describes what a great time he had staying up until 2am and playing video games waiting for his dad to get back from the pub or wherever he went until that time. Then he went home Sunday morning. That was his access visit.
Me, I got sent on holiday with other relatives so parents could spend time with siblings.

@Benjispruce2

I’ve never holidayed without my children. I’m 49. Wouldn’t feel fair to me. They’d think they weren’t wanted.

What nonsense. If they're that insecure about you wanting them, you've got bigger problems than not going on holiday!

@Benjispruce2

No drama llamas here. DD1 is 20 and at uni and independent. Nothing wrong with parenting properly.

Oh well better cancel my NYC trip when my kids will be in the care of their actual dad and granny lest I not be a "proper" parent 😂😂😂

😂

We went away for our 10th WA - DCs would’ve been 8 & 6 and Grandparents came to ours to look after them for 2 nights. Was Thurs-Sat I think so they were mainly at school.
They were both used to staying overnight at GPs and being babysat by them and others for an evening. Don’t really see big issue with that.

No my parents didn't, probably because they had no one who would have us over night for a couple of days. Myself and DH go away probably once a year for a couple of nights whilst dc stay with nana and grandad.

One thing I can say about PILs is that they were great with the kids. They have:m:had their faults and issues but I trusted them implicitly with the DCs and they had them and their cousins overnight from toddlerhood really.

For those who pretend kids would feel unwanted ... I was that kid.

It's not like my parents went to Disney, that might have been more controversial.
We had no interest in most of our parents holidays in the first place! It was more a treat to stay with friends and family than anything else.

Even if they went skiing or something more fun for a weekend, we've seem to comprehend the need for adult time without any drama.

When you keep things simple and don't overthink everything, it makes life so much easier for everybody. You go to the gym, swimming, to the cinema with friends.. many places you go without your kids. No one is feeling left out.

Yes mine did. Probably once or twice a year. We stayed with our cousins or our Grandparents and had a whale of a time. I think it's important to spend time as a couple without your DC. Last year DH and I packed the DC off to my Mum and went to the States for a week. We had a ball! Planning a weekend away once lockdown lifts and I can't wait.

Yes mine did in the 60's and 70's. Not often, but they did go away on their own. Our grandparents looked after us.

I imagine people who wouldn't do it have no one they can trust implicitly with their DC/no one willing to do it. My mum has been a huge part of my DCs lives since they were born. She's a fantastic Nanny and I actually prefer leaving them with her than leaving them with my husband as she puts such a huge amount of effort into them. She's really like another parent to them in a way. If I didn't have her then I could understand the reluctance to leave your DC as there's no one else I'd leave them with overnight at this stage (preschoolers).

Yes mine did and I am 56....I loved staying with my grandparents as it was such fun and made our bond even closer. I also went on business trips when mine were younger and again they enjoyed their time with their grandparents doing the school run etc was fun for all

Yes, they did a few times. I didn't think anything strange at the time (nor do I now). I was usually when Dad was working away, and would be away for the weekend. I know they'd shopped in London, gone to some sports games, etc. Doubtless they had done some fun things themselves, and it must have been a nice break. I would have stay with grand parents, or cousins, both of which I enjoyed.

My parents have only been away overnight together without me or my sibling once since I was born! I think it was because we were short of money so they preferred to go away as a family but less frequently. The one time they went away without us we were both adults and they won the trip in a competition my sibling still lives at home to be fair so still goes on family holidays.

I think my parents went away without me and my sister twice when I was in primary school. My gran came to stay at our house and look after us both times. They were both short holidays, for example I remember one of them was a 5 day trip to Barcelona. I missed them but was absolutely fine and I'm not at all scarred by the experience!

Yes for a couple of nights a couple of times, I suspect they were trying to reconnect. We stayed with grandparents. Was fun. I was born 1970s.

I remember my parents going on a second honeymoon for a weekend when I was about 8. Myself and my 4 younger siblings stayed with a family from our church. They were like our adopted auntie and uncle. That would have been in 1978.