In asking did your parents go away without you when you were little?

[Stantons]

I often read on here about parents having holidays or nights away without their kids and a lot about separated parents doing this which I guess is more understandable. My parents never did this when I was a child 35 years ago is it a more recent thing?

I’ve never holidayed without my children. I’m 49. Wouldn’t feel fair to me. They’d think they weren’t wanted.

Odd nights here and there, and we stayed with grandparents. Usually it was for a wedding, and they would stay overnight in the wedding hotel. When I got to my teens I would stay with a friend rather than go on a family holiday - much younger sibling so it was difficult to find a balance of things for everyone to do.

I never. We had a family holiday once a year and that was it. Don't even remember them having a night away.

We haven't been away without Dd for a holiday yet - she's now 18t. Was supposed to this year but it was cancelled. She's been away with out us a few times.
Have had nights and weekends away since she was about 3.

My parents didn't - they never went away - but we did this often and let our sons with their grandparents. Everyone was happy.

Yes. My parents had a few trips away without me. Nothing huge or for long periods of time but definitely remember them going places for long weekends / a week without me whilst I stayed with grandparents.

Don't see the problem personally.

They’d think they weren’t wanted.
🤣🤣 the drama continues...ffs this is how drama llamas are created.

We’ve had 1 night in a hotel within an hour or 2 from home for my 40th or an anniversary. Couldn’t fly. What if they got ill?

Not until we were teenagers and old enough to be left alone. We didn't live in the same country as my grandparents when I was a young child, so staying with them not an option.

No drama llamas here. DD1 is 20 and at uni and independent. Nothing wrong with parenting properly.

@Benjispruce2 what if they get ill? Well I only leave them in capable hands. So I'm totally ok with my mum holding fort until my return if they get ill. My dc adore my mum so it's no different to them.

@Benjispruce2 I don't see how leaving your dc for a weekend suddenly means you are not parenting properly

No it’s not that they wouldn’t be cared for, I would want to be there. I’d feel terribly guilty if I was off holidaying.

Weekend is one thing. I’m talking about week or more which is what most holidays are.

I’ve never holidayed without my children. I’m 49. Wouldn’t feel fair to me. They’d think they weren’t wanted😂😂😂
Mine used to ask when we were going!!!!
No attachment issues with mine, they still come to my house, raid my fridge and come on holiday with us from time to time even though they are young adults now!!

Hilarious.

They didn't when we were young, but when I was about 16 they went to France once and left us at home. My brother and I had the option to go with them and we said no :) Was going on holiday with my friends at that point anyway so going away with my parents sounded far too boring for me back then. Would love to go away with them now though, but that won't happen since they have both passed away.

Personally, I wouldn't be happy leaving my toddler with someone else whilst I went away for a holiday. For the more grown-up holiday/city breaks, these can wait until my daughter is a bit older to join us, or old enough to be left at home if she chooses.

Each to their own though, what feels right for me will be different for others.

I’m not sure if holidays (we didn’t have that much money) without me, but I definitely regularly stayed with both sets of grandparents while they had nights out or perhaps weekends away.

We have done the same. We try and have a city break just us every year - DD’s stay with grandparents and they absolutely love it, they get spoiled rotten. I don’t feel bad. They understand that Mummy and Daddy love each other and want some time alone. We always have at least one family holiday a year and occasionally one with extended family too. So they’re hardly missing out.

This narrative of being chained to your children 24/7 a day and if you ever find it hard or want time to yourself, if you ever want a break or find it less than the single most wonderful experience of your life you are somehow lacking as a mother - it’s why women struggle on without telling anyone.

Why would you feel guilty though?? It's not something you can control or predict?? We can't put everything on hold "just Incase" though can we?? I would get on a plane as soon as I could i things went wrong, there's nothing more you can do than that.

I don’t actually understand why anyone would want to go away for a couple of weeks and leave the kids at home. Holidays are IMO for family, there’s plenty of time for romantic holidays when the kids are older

Why though? From what I remember of the times my parents went away, I'd usually end up doing something with my grandparents or my auntie. I remember having fun tbh. Almost like a holiday for me!

And in fact, I myself went on quite a few holidays with family that didn't involve my parents. My Aunt took me to America for 3 weeks without my mum and dad when I was about 6 (although my mum did say afterward that she didn't like that in the end)!! Grandparents took me to Spain a couple of times. That's still family going on holiday, it just didn't involve every single member at the same time every time 🤷

Yep, they would go away and we'd stay with grandparents, or we would go away with grandparents, or we'd all go away and they'd leave us at our aunt's for a few days of the holiday.

When we got to about fifteen they just went and left us at home on our own.

I'm 52, so this was yonks ago!

Never, not once. My mother went away on a course with work when I was about 8 and I found it traumatic 😂

We did stay with grandparents in the school holidays without our parents though.

We have only been away for one weekend without dc in 15 years but have each been away to visit friends leaving school with their other parent.

Leaving dc not leaving school!

@Benjispruce2 I once went to the USA to visit a cousin...for 2 weeks. I left my dc in the capable hands of my dh. They were just fine and still are...they don't even remember.

Mine did it when I was three months old. That’s over 67 years ago so not recent at all.

Just not comfortable with it so that’s why we didn’t. Each to their own but I haven’t made drama llamas because I haven’t holidayed without my kids.