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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too many people and too few bathrooms?

157 replies

NearlyMonday · 23/11/2020 09:24

DH and I have been invited to a birthday celebration next summer (COVID-permitting). The hosts have booked a large country house and it’s a Friday-Monday event. There will be 10 couples, so 20 guests in total, but there are only two bathrooms ………. I can’t see this working, or AIBU? I think we had a better bathroom ratio when I was at University!

OP posts:
VinylDetective · 23/11/2020 16:10

making an election to spend the weekend in primitive circumstances is something entirely different!

Primitive circumstances is having to go down the garden to the bog and a tin bath in front of the fire.

KatieGGGG · 23/11/2020 16:10

It depends on the couple set up tbh but no that would put me off too.

All family together, and for someone really important to me? I could just about managed it.

All friends? Not a chance - I’d rather stay in a hotel and meet up with them at my leisure. Frees up loo time for others too

NearlyMonday · 23/11/2020 18:57

UPDATE - I just pointed all this out to DH, who hadn’t thought it through, and hadn’t done the maths. He doesn’t fancy going either. Thank you everyone for your responses and hoping you all enjoy a peaceful bath or shower very soon!

OP posts:
Flatpackback · 23/11/2020 20:13

So, there are four bathrooms, not two. That’s far more doable as long as those with the en-suites don’t think they’re for their exclusive use.

NearlyMonday · 23/11/2020 20:31

Two en-suite and two communal bathrooms - in practice, not quite the same as four communal bathrooms

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 23/11/2020 20:52

Ring the organiser and double check before you decline- it could be there are a few en suites and a downstairs loo.

I think for a major birthday I’d suck it up and still go - but if it is the case that there are very few bathrooms it may be a bit grim by day 3.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2020 20:57

but you just have to hope there's no selfish people who think nothing of locking themselves in there for extended periods while there's a queue of cross legged people waiting outside.

Not only that, but the selfish people will take their phones in with them and engineer it so that their spouses/partners jump in straight after them.

It would actually be better if the room with a bath in it didn't have a bath at all and just a toilet. Some people will deliberately not use it out of consideration for others waiting, but there are always a few who will say "Well, they wouldn't have put a bath in there if you weren't meant to use it!" and then luxuriate for hours.

I'm amazed that the owner hasn't realised the situation and considered adapting the property, if possible. Depending on the layout, they'd be attractive to far more potential customers (and could charge more for it) if they had, say, 7 bedrooms and 5 shower rooms.

En-suites are great for reducing numbers using the communal bathrooms when you have, say, 8 guests (4 doubles) and two have en-suites, thus taking half of the guests out of using the main bathrooms; but 4 out of 20 is nothing.

Those lucky enough to get the en-suites will probably find that it's a poisoned chalice, as the others will be hating them whilst simultaneously expecting to be able to continually traipse in and use them at will as well as the communal ones. At least if you get a room without an en-suite, you'll have your own privacy.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 23/11/2020 21:04

So, there are four bathrooms, not two. That’s far more doable as long as those with the en-suites don’t think they’re for their exclusive use.

They will do, though. That's the whole point of an en-suite, unless it's one of those with a door to the bedroom and a door to the hallway, so you can use it as both. Having an en-suite for your room's private use is considered a bonus, but if your bedroom effectively becomes a public-access hallway to get to the bathroom attached to it, most people would hate that.

VinylDetective · 23/11/2020 21:08

Nobody I know would give a shit but then my generation predated en suites anywhere apart from in a hotel.

RettyPriddle · 23/11/2020 21:23

@livefornaps

You know what it's like though, you try the door, it's locked, you knock, you hear your friend's hubby say "just a minute" and then lots of shuffling....minutes later the flush goes, then friend's hubby strides out looking like a cat who's just taken a massive crap, you walk in the shitter and there's a putrid stench in the air, with a warm loo seat scattered with pubes
Ha ha, so true! And when we shared a holiday property with ten friends, one of the men blocked one of the loos. 😱
Faith50 · 23/11/2020 21:32

I dislike sharing a bathroom with more than one person i.e. dh or friend when we travel. I would need an ensuite.

captainprincess · 23/11/2020 21:43

You have plenty of time to train your hair to not need to be washed everyday. I realise this isn't your only concern but at least it would help.

MimosaFields · 23/11/2020 22:17

I would stay in a hotel or not go. There's no way I'd share s bathroom with that many people.

Bluntness100 · 23/11/2020 22:24

@MimosaFields

I would stay in a hotel or not go. There's no way I'd share s bathroom with that many people.
Two or three other couples? You never stay at a families house where there is only one main bathroom where there is six of you?

Ok.

Ginfordinner · 23/11/2020 22:36

Two or three other couples? You never stay at a families house where there is only one main bathroom where there is six of you?

No

MimosaFields · 23/11/2020 22:36

No. I don't. I live in my own and I have no family to visit. I have not shared a bathroom since I left university

AbsentmindedWoman · 23/11/2020 22:49

Christ. Ugh, no way would this be fun! I'm not precious. I'd happily stay in a hostel on a city break in certain circumstances, for example.

Going away for a country house weekend should feel more relaxed and luxurious, in my opinion. Ten couples on a bathroom rota doesn't fit the bill.

SimplyRadishing · 23/11/2020 22:51

🧐 that would be a no from me

Medievalist · 23/11/2020 23:25

Nobody I know would give a shit but then my generation predated en suites anywhere apart from in a hotel.

Same here. I'm truly amazed by so many people saying they wouldn't go.

Ginfordinner · 23/11/2020 23:44

@Medievalist

Nobody I know would give a shit but then my generation predated en suites anywhere apart from in a hotel.

Same here. I'm truly amazed by so many people saying they wouldn't go.

I give too many shits which is why I need my own bathroom.
itsovernowthen · 23/11/2020 23:56

This arrangement would really put me off going. I dislike using loos immediately after someone else has spent a long time sitting in there.

Last summer friends suggested going to stay in a country house with 10 of us girls (5 bedrooms, so doubling up), and it only had one bathroom, and no stand-alone shower.

I quickly found a few more holiday homes in a similar area that had 3-5 bathrooms, including en-suites for the same number of guests, and suggested one of those. Went went for one of my options instead.

If you know exactly where the property is, and the group doesn't HAVE to get together in THIS specific house, I'd be suggesting a change if I were you OP.

MustardMitt · 23/11/2020 23:58

I wouldn't like it either. It would be OK if it was all my family - but I need to visit the toilet several times throughout the day. And my shit stinks. I can't poo when non-family are nearby.

VinylDetective · 24/11/2020 00:01

If you know exactly where the property is, and the group doesn't HAVE to get together in THIS specific house, I'd be suggesting a change if I were you OP

The host of the birthday party is paying for the whole house. Suggesting a change would be eye wateringly rude. It’s basically saying the host’s choice isn’t good enough.

BackforGood · 24/11/2020 00:02

I too am truly amazed at the numbers of people who can't cope without exclusive use of a bathroom for a couple of days.

I presume this is to celebrate some occasion of people you are close to (for them to be forking out ££ to treat you all to this weekend away), so, for the people that are loved by me, I'd still go even if it weren't really my thing.

If - as you imply in one of your posts - you don't really know the other people though, I'm a bit more confused as to why someone would be inviting you to such a set up. Not the bathroom situation, but the whole experience of living together in a house with people you don't know for 3 days.

itsovernowthen · 24/11/2020 00:11

@VinylDetective

If you know exactly where the property is, and the group doesn't HAVE to get together in THIS specific house, I'd be suggesting a change if I were you OP

The host of the birthday party is paying for the whole house. Suggesting a change would be eye wateringly rude. It’s basically saying the host’s choice isn’t good enough.

I thought the host here just booked it, rather than was paying? In any case, suggesting a few places with more bathrooms in a similar price range wouldn't be a rude thing to do in my circle of friends.

The lady who booked the trip I went on said she hadn't actually thought to look at how many bathrooms there were, so was grateful that I had!

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