Why are so many people struggling with life?

[Letsgetgoing888]

Not just due to covid, but it’s definitely been highlighted more recently....

But in recent years there seem so many more angry people, stressed people, depressed people, people that can’t control their temper, mental health issues, obese kids, obese adults, people who don’t look after themselves or their kids properly...

I know mental health services are woefully inadequate, but generally as a society we are talking more about mental health, provide benefits, charity support, free healthcare and so much more than in the past.

But more people seem to be really struggling in many different ways, health wise, financially, mentally, emotionally. Suicide rates are higher now than in the past (even pre-covid).

Did they have it right in the old days of stiff upper lip? And if not, why are things so much worse now when there is so much more awareness?

@Tara336 no blood tests were offered, though in all fairness MS wouldn’t have shown up in them anyway with respect, no it wouldn't but the point is the GP didn't know what was wrong with you. The next patieint in the door with extreme tiredness may have been anaemic or diabetic, which would show up on blood tests. I am not feeling very fair to your GP, sorry!
@Runningdownthathill I agree and don't blame you for feeling jaded. When my DD was 12 I took her to GP with symptoms of pain in her lower leg waking her every night. GP was going to pack her off with some calpol but i insisted on an x ray, was told no need for that....turns out she had a bone tumour.

@shadypines I agree, a previous GP many years before had me tested for anemia when I reported the extreme fatigue, tests came back as normal. At least that GP didn’t tell me I was depressed, but didn’t investigate further either. I now know I was displaying typical MS symptoms for over 20 years before I was diagnosed. Im not particularly angry about that because I now understand why and how it’s hard to diagnose, but I am angry that I was just offered antidepressants and told to go my way that to me is very worrying. Obviously complete understand why you feel let down too! I hope your DD has recovered?

@Tara336 I am sorry to hear you had such a struggle too and thank you for asking yes she eventually did and after nearly 3 yrs on pain killers/anti -inflammatories the tumour stopped bothering her, it turned out to be benign.

for you

The way people talk about the past on this thread is as if there was no human existence before the industrial revolution. Yes the slums, pollution, 12 hour dangerous factory days were awful but that was quite a short time in history.

Before that lives weren’t that bad. Even ‘poor’ people had their own country cottages. They ate healthy food. Lived in stable spirited communities. Lots of fresh air and exercise.

There were lots of freedoms and plenty of leisure- music, dancing etc.

@shadeypines so glad to hear she is ok, what an awful experience, wish you all the best

There was human existence before the industrial revolution, of course. Before 1367 and the first visit of the Black Death, which killed approximately 55-60% of the population in the UK, most people were serfs. We'd define their conditions as slavery now. Post the Black Death, people became more able to decide where they would live and what they would do, but unless your family could buy you an apprenticeship at 12/13, you (and I) would have been servants or agricultural labour working 12 hours a day. I think you are viewing life between the 14th and 19th centuries through rose tinted glasses.

Life, for the majority of humanity, has always been "nasty, brutish and short"... as Thomas Hobbes wrote in 1651.

The Commonwealth (1649-1660) explicitly prohibited music and dancing, just like the Taliban. Most cottages would have been tied to the job you did. Life was precarious. Infant mortality rates were closer to sub-Saharan Africa than 1940. Cholera, dysentery and small pox ravaged the UK every year. Famine was a real possibility every year and every harvest. People in England starved to death quite routinely. It really was not a bucolic Arcadia. Please don't kid yourself.

@Sarahandduck18, the sudden progress in public health started in about 1850, and the 100 years between 1850-1950 brought the fastest improvement in health, education and living conditions that any European country had experienced in all history. Germany modernised at the same time. The period from 1815-1914 is IMHO the most decisive part of European history to study, technologically, socially, legally... maybe not culturally.

The mention of obesity in the original post reminded me of something I had noticed at my work. For some reason, many of the women in management jobs that carry a lot of stress look to me as if they have extremely high BMIs. I realise the BMI is a blunt instrument and isn't a good gauge of weight or health. However, it's almost as if for one particular grade, every woman at the grade has a high BMI. I look back years to the start of my career and women then doing managerial or supervisory jobs with a lot of stress smoked like chimneys. I can remember women chain smokers, and offices where the smell of cigarettes was so strong you would smell of smoke all day if you went in.

This has changed, smoking is much more unusual now and is banned in the workplace, I think. So are women in stressful jobs now eating to relieve the stress? And isn't it a shame that rather than dealing with the stress years ago, employers/companies/organisations still put managers under pressure, but today stress relief comes through food rather than nicotine.

Social media is to blame for a lot of it. I came off Facebook years ago as I kept comparing myself to other people. I'm a single parent. The day I came off Facebook was Christmas Eve. I'd seen a post by an old colleague. She and her husband were sat on the sofa with their children. All had matching Christmas pyjamas. All were surrounded by stockings, wrapped presents and Christmas Eve boxes. Lovely for them but I'd never felt so low sat here on my own in my old pyjamas. I'd slapped Christmas together somehow. It was a struggle financially as usual and I was exhausted and not in a great mood because of it. Seeing how everyone else was blissfully happy made me feel sorry for my children being stuck with me. I pressed delete and have never been happier. I have nothing to compare myself to now. I just get on and live my life.

I also think we're all under more pressure than years ago when women stayed at home and men worked. Now the lines are blurred. We work and look after children and have cars to tend to, bosses to please, schools to please and people have access to us 24/7 thanks to the internet/phones. There's no off button. Sometimes I mute what's app to give myself a breather

I am not convinced that there is any greater pressure in life than the need to achieve a roof over one's head and food in the bellies of your family. If you have done that and have time to bother with social media too, you are not wanting badly materially. I'm not being dismissive: it probably isn't everything you'd like to give your family if you could manage it, but it's a foundation.

The period from 1815-1914 is IMHO the most decisive part of European history to study, technologically, socially, legally... maybe not culturally.

Why not culturally? Pretty much every English course covers the Victorian novel. Painting changes massively, partly because technological changes means it becomes easier to paint outside, plus there's the introduction of photography. It's the period in which mass literacy and compulsory education at least at primary level comes in.

Before that lives weren’t that bad. Even ‘poor’ people had their own country cottages. They ate healthy food. Lived in stable spirited communities. Lots of fresh air and exercise.

Maybe it's because I garden but imv getting enough food to survive a year is vvvvvvv hard work. I grow lots of veg but I would guess they add about 3% to my annual intake of food.
Then you have the winter - with only say, turnips, leeks and any other veg would have to be stored frost free. Not easy unless you've filled half your hovel with wood or peat to keep the fire burning for 6 months. In many countries the temperatures drop to below -10 in the winter. What did they live on for months on end? It just amazes me how resilient humans can be.

@LakieLady
Mortgages are fantastic for capitalists. Why? because it creates an entire strata of the work force that essentially become salaried slaves

I can't see that rents are any different - you are a work slave to pay your mortgage, you are a work slave to pay your rent, unless laws are changed to stop evictions.

Your point that people went without, or saved up.

Really? Because the phrase “on tick” wasn’t invented this century.

No, it wasn't invented this century, but it really is so much easier to borrow money now than it used to be. I have been around for a long time, and the ease with which people are now able to "buy now, pay later" is scary, especially when this is often targeted at the very people who can least afford it, and there is usually no account taken of how much people may be already in debt .

There used to be stigma to being seen as a gambler/drinker/lazy. Now we all can be who we want!! Having unspoken rules helped with life imv.

On top of that you can view porn/ gamble/ be abusive anonymously. Not conducive to happy lives.

All of this creates a completely grinding, soul-destroying rat-race. Still more and more of the wealth is ending up in the hands of fewer and fewer vastly wealthy people

^this

People look askew when they hear others talking about the downsides of capitalism. But this is it. And we can literally see the evidence around us.

Capitalism is not a fundamental law that has to be obeyed. It’s a choice made by those with the most power and we feel helpless to do anything about it and think “it’s just life”.

It’s not. But the tools to make life better are being eroded (eg the ability to stand up to our bosses and fight for better living standards for example).

We need change.

No, it wasn't invented this century, but it really is so much easier to borrow money now than it used to be. I have been around for a long time, and the ease with which people are now able to "buy now, pay later" is scary, especially when this is often targeted at the very people who can least afford it, and there is usually no account taken of how much people may be already in debt

Who benefits from people borrowing money? Be it for mortgages or other purposes?

Banks. They make a shit ton of money from this so of course they want to make it easy to borrow.

Who is responsible for low wages for employees which mean that they cannot save enough and have to borrow? Those who own businesses.

It’s all very well blaming individuals for not saving enough, but when the system is such that most people have no choice then don’t be surprised it ends up the way it does.

@madcatladyforever I really enjoyed your post - that time sounds truly wonderful, how lucky you are to have experienced it!

Our Church is capitalism. Very little spirituality in our culture. We are told to be ourselves, choose to be what we want to be... So much pressure on people. There are no clearly defined roles for us that are mirrored back by our community. Just incredibly high standards that 1% of people reach, for a bit, until they get ill, etc.

It’s all very well blaming individuals for not saving enough, but when the system is such that most people have no choice then don’t be surprised it ends up the way it does.

When did I say I was blaming people for not saving? I was merely pointing out how easy it is to buy things without paying for them upfront, and wasn't thinking so much about borrowing money from banks. I was also thinking of people buying things they don't really need, not essential items, simply because it is so easy. I don't see how banks are to blame for people using easy credit from stores etc.

The pressure starts young.
Now in primary school they have careers week. What do you want to do when you leave school? I know kids are always asked this - but now it's Research the jobs, create a poster, do a presentation etc etc.
Some of these kids are struggling to read, write and do basic maths - now another thing to worry about!

Because people have lost sight of what’s important.
Family and friends, REAL connection (not online connections), nature, outdoors, moving, eating well.
Modern living is about convenience and inauthentic experience. And this is bad for us on so many levels.

@CatteStreet

I am, btw, very wary of nostalgia for the presumed 'simpler' life 'back then'. 'The past', in large part, was a nasty violent place where ill-treatment of those of 'weaker' or 'lower' status was pretty much institutionalised. I can't get all that fussed if the pendulum has swung a bit too far the other way and a few people whose lives haven't been that challenging write social media screeds about their 'journeys'. I'm just grateful - particularly to those who spoke up against great societal resistance and made the changes happen - that women now have a choice to leave abusive relationships, evil men and dreadful parents no longer have carte blanche to systematically destroy children's lives and we no longer inflict physical violence or death in the name of justice.

I love this post, and agree.

EBearhug, you are of course completely right that culture changed massively over the 19th century and that Victorian novels are still a core part of English Lit study! But I don't think the advent of photography changed the definition of beauty in the same way that science and technology transformed medicine, engineering, transport and created manufacturing industry. Education (not free) increased literacy massively at the same time.