Why are so many people struggling with life?

[Letsgetgoing888]

Not just due to covid, but it’s definitely been highlighted more recently....

But in recent years there seem so many more angry people, stressed people, depressed people, people that can’t control their temper, mental health issues, obese kids, obese adults, people who don’t look after themselves or their kids properly...

I know mental health services are woefully inadequate, but generally as a society we are talking more about mental health, provide benefits, charity support, free healthcare and so much more than in the past.

But more people seem to be really struggling in many different ways, health wise, financially, mentally, emotionally. Suicide rates are higher now than in the past (even pre-covid).

Did they have it right in the old days of stiff upper lip? And if not, why are things so much worse now when there is so much more awareness?

I’ve also wondered about this. I think having responsibility is empowering and we need to give young people the chance to take on responsibility and feel that they have an important contribution to make and are needed as a member of a community. In particular I think parents need to let young people go to University as independent beings. An 18year old is an adult, they can marry, vote, have children, buy a house, get a loan and be held responsible for a debt, fight in a war etc. we need to respect their freedoms and recognise their capacity to play a responsible role in society. Children used to have paper rounds, do chores around the house, extra jobs for pocket money, Saturday and after school jobs. Now many children and young people are expected to attend extra curricular activities, have tutors, have everything they need bought for them, including expensive brand clothes & footwear they think they need, iPhones, iPads, play stations, laptops etc. and some even have monthly allowances and a credit card! At 18 some have their gap year travels paid for, a car and even sometimes a house or flat for Uni. Their parents are investing in them and their future wanting them to succeed, get ahead, be offspring they can be proud of and talk about to their friends and the young people in turn feel the pressure of being expected to perform, get good results, look cool, have friends and a great social life and be happy! Even single parents and families on low incomes or benefits feel the expectation of having to provide these things so their child can keep up with their friends. It can be stressful and disempowering for children and young people. There are others brought up to work in the family business, look after younger brothers and sisters, go without some things so learn to strive, work to earn money for what they want and have non consumer orientated, people focused values and goals. They are the lucky ones. I think of the teenagers who had to fight in WW2 and still do in many countries and everything that disadvantaged young people have had to cope with and still do and I feel sad about the anxiety of those brought up with a sense of entitlement to be looked after and protected from the realities and responsibilities of life. This is not the same as diagnosable mental health conditions such as bi polar, schizophrenia etc. The effect of environmental factors on physical and mental health need examining too, like cannabis, alcohol, lack of sleep, poor diets, lack of exercise, social media and screen addiction, hormone disruption and chemical pollutants.

People just admit it now - simples.

Late stage capitalism.

A lecturer at uni gave a whole class on how the industrial revolution was actually the worst thing to ever happen to society.

I think people are right about not wanting to go back to the past as things were worse though - however we are the first generation ever who has worse prospects than their parents' generation. Clearly the baby boomers fucked up, and have a lot to answer for.

I think a decade of austerity is taking its toll, and the polarisation caused by brexit and now the virus has divided us like never before. The country lacks effective leadership and this is all bombarded at us daily. Social media makes us dependent on anonymous virtual friends rather than true companions through life.
Mental Health cases have increase as we’ve put a name to an umbrella of different emotional feelings and people are more open to admitting it.
Also people these days think they have a right to whatever they want in life and aren’t able to deal with it when they cant achieve it or they don’t receive validation for their views or beliefs.
Agree with those that think we lack resilience. The best skill you can have is the ability to look at all this and think ‘meh!’ and then just get on with life, preferably a simple uncomplicated one

My God "no to the stiff upper lid" O.P. That screwed so many up. I certainly know that one as a 60's baby. Created a generation in all the change in the 80s on who have/had severe mental health issues. I know this from experience.

Life was harder 50/60 years ago in many ways. In many ways it was easier too

There wasn't the expectations and the materialism for starters. Much more obviously too.

Life is a rat race today with so much in expectations I don't know how it can be stopped. Covid had a good try this year however ultimately bought additional mental health issues

The UK has an awful standard of living for many, and I'm not just talking about money. There is lack of real connection for many. The internet content and press basically wind people up with gas lighting. The government does not care about people. We are run by the elite who only care about capitalism and money.

Clearly the baby boomers fucked up, and have a lot to answer for
People lack imagination.
As a baby boomer what wasI/ am I supposed to do - give my savings to random 30 year olds.
I just lived my life - job in Nhs, limited expectations then, if I was young today I would be getting a degree in a well paid stem subject.
Didn't expect to own a house, parents didn't, GPS didn't. Bad things went on in the world, I voted at elections (sometimes).

What are you deprived millennials doing to fix your world? Given up your cars to reduce global warming? Fighting the rampant porn and sex trade which is rife today? Sorting immigration ? No?
Or getting on with your life as best you can - just like I did in mine.

There is lack of real connection for many. The internet content and press basically wind people up with gas lighting. The government does not care about people. We are run by the elite who only care about capitalism and money.
But surely much of that is fixable by the individual - do charity work/ join a group to meet people. Stay off the internet. Vote for a socialist party. It's possible to have a happy and rewarding life despite the above unless you believe it's someone else's job to provide that for you.

Late stage capitalism

This is the real culprit.

It's an absolute myth that the UK is overpopulated, or that there isn't enough gainful employment to go around in order for people to provide for themselves. Likewise the ridiculous situation we have now with the education/qualification arms race.

These things are all a natural consequence of a developed, free-market capitalist economy. The entire goal of capitalism is to produce increasing amounts of product or wealth, while simultaneously driving down the resource cost of doing so.

People are a resource in a capitalist economy, so its a natural consequence that as time progresses people are gradually devalued. Capitalism requires an over-abundance of labour in order to function in the interests of the wealthy who own the means of production, so less rewarding jobs, fewer of them, worsening conditions for staff, fewer recourse and rights for the workers, all of it is inevitable because the entire purpose is to produce more for less.

Mortgages are fantastic for capitalists. Why? because it creates an entire strata of the work force that essentially become salaried slaves. Margaret Thatcher new exactly what she was doing with Right-to-buy, and it was absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with elevating working people and emancipating them from rents. If you worked in a unionised industry, and your union calls you out on strike, it used to be that the union would give you a stipend to cover your rent and bills. That did not apply to personal mortgages, so suddenly, even when your employer is treating you like shit, you literally can not afford to strike else you lose your home.

All of this creates a completely grinding, soul-destroying rat-race. Still more and more of the wealth is ending up in the hands of fewer and fewer vastly wealthy people, yet rags like the Heil and utter scoundrels like Farage can't propagandise that it's all the fault of foreigners, the EU, and brown people arriving here on dinghies, and enough of the population are idiotic enough to lap it up, while still becoming ever more depressed in a dead-end job and struggling to pay their bills.

can* obvs

But how do you fix it?

Start by taking measures to rein in unscrupulous employers for a start. Have them pay actual tax so that public spending can take care of the people your system chews up a spits out.

It's true that capitalism is just the least worst of a load of terrible systems, but not all capitalist economies are entirely the same. We have an enormous problem in the UK with wealthy companies and individuals ignoring their civic and social responsibilities, and it's enabled by governments who are perfectly comfortable bedfellows with people who hoard wealth, avoid paying tax, lobby for agendas like Brexit because they know it will lead to them being able to gradually erode employment rights and conditions, which it turn means more profit, etc.

Even some of our neighbours, who are still capitalist and free-market, recognise that you can not run an entire economy purely for the benefit of a tiny proportion of the entire population. We could learn a lot from some of our Scandanavian neighbours, Germany even, but the problem is I don't believe there's sufficient will to actually recognise and address the problem.

You would need laws to stop jobs being moved to the cheapest regions. And you would need laws to stop imports of cheaper goods from abroad. But I can't see why laws to stop people moving their money to tax havens would be a bad thing, though there would probably be other options to save tax found.

Well this is the thing that's always used as an excuse to do nothing. "people will just do X instead".

We saw this argument before about 'if you raise tax/leave the Union/ action this/that/the next thing, companies will just pack up and go elsewhere". What I find odd about this, is that having travelled the world extensively, the parts that most people would describe as 'developing' and regard as far poorer than the UK, the places with far weaker economies that should, if this holds true, really struggle in terms of having a diverse market; there's no shortage of large companies still happily trading away, turning a profit, selling their products or services to people who want to buy them, funnily enough, mainly the same companies and products that we're familiar with here in the UK.

The notion that your economy will collapse if you start taxing people properly in nonsense. Companies exist to make money. They are not just going to up sticks and leave purely because you start expecting them to pay a bare minimum of tax, not when your market still wants their product and there's still a profit to be made. By that logic, countries that don't permit rampant tax avoidance/evasion should be experiencing a dearth of service provision, shops with no product to sell, enormous rates of unemployment, widespread deprivation and declining living standards. Are they? No, companies just pay their fair share of tax and carry on trading profitably as before.

As for tax dodges, yes, people will always be looking for other ways to protect their wealth, but that's no reason at all to just forget about closing the most frequently abused loopholes, or continue to do your utmost to ensure that there's as much of a degree of fairness as is possible.

I genuinely do not believe that most people in the UK truly understand just how much of this country's wealth is held by so few people. I think that's understandable to a degree if you have a lifestyle where you feel like you're doing quite well for yourself. Perhaps you've paid off your mortgage, own a second home, take two holidays a year, change your car every 18 months or something. Great, so far as you are concerned the UK economy works just fine. Why would wealth inequality worry you? The fact is though, for every 'you' there are another 20 Brits who have nothing like your standard of living. It's not difficult to understand why they might be struggling with more than just financial worries, thanks to the way our economy functions.

Some great posts on here, would like to mention BackforGood, and MrDarcyma, totally agree. For some years now, we have talked on the "Snowflake Generation", I do think a lot of it is keeping up with the Jones. Yes, the cost of living is higher, so are wages, and people these days wouldn't dream of not having a washing machine, the weddings I have been invited to the past 20 years, the getting marrieds have the house, and contents, want some luxury items, People confuse being upset,angry, with depression. I speak as a mum of 2 disabled DSs with severe depression,the sort that gets you sectioned. Their brain chemistry, unfortunately, nothing to do with wanting what they cannot have.I am carer for one.Being happy and content is not an entlement, nor is it achievable by material things, if it was you wouldn't get so many rich,good looking, talented actors (Robin Williams) commiting suicide. People have isolated themselves, thinking they are more in touch on their phones, in restaurants etc instead of engaging in the now.

@robusttoday

years ago I don't think people expected to be happy. I think more people were more content because they were content with discontent. !!
( if you can get your head around that).”

I get what your saying, it was about the simple things in life before like spending time with your family, friends, routine, a-roof over your head, clothes to wear and food to eat. Now it’s more and more on the list and with people comparing their life. Comparison is a stealer of joy and many can’t deal with that once it’s been internalised.

Also, this ‘entitlement’ mentality. Has something to do with that shift. We stop being grateful for what we have. Do we even tell people thank you any more and mean it?

Just living is more expensive now due to silly house prices and social media makes people feel inadequate.

It's (mostly) filters, half-truths and good angles.

Social media, longer working hours, people moving for work and becoming isolated...

Also an expectation of 'happiness' and that something is wrong if you don't have it all the time. A long time ago a friend told me aim for 'contentment' not 'happiness'. You may not like your job, be looking for a new one, be divorced etc all could make you unhappy, but in time you can find contentment, even if not true happiness.

Maybe I’m more tuned into it now with work and being generally more interested in what’s going on in the world.

From your original post and subsequent comments, it would seem you're tuned in to very little. To me, your comments suggest very little capacity to interpret the world around you.

Whatever your job is and however much you believe your eyes are open and you 'see', you clearly don't.

Of course there was a private rental sector in the 70/80s and for decades before

But because of the laws around renting it meant there were very few rentals available and what was available in a lot of cases wasn’t fit to house a dog
A flat I rented had globs of grease and other indescribables running down the wall. A single bed with a cot mattress and thread bare carpet that was through to the floorboards. I was stood ankle deep in snow and pleased that I had got their hours before the agent and was first in line that time and grabbed it. I had seen worse but most were like this.

I remember a student at a local university. He lived in a shared house and his bedroom had no windows as it was actually a cupboard.

Rentals have come a long way since the 70s/early 80s

Not all rentals were poor in those days. I lived in a 2 bed flat with French windows opening onto a terrace with steps to a massive garden with a river at the bottom. It was glorious.

@MadMadaMim

Maybe I’m more tuned into it now with work and being generally more interested in what’s going on in the world.

From your original post and subsequent comments, it would seem you're tuned in to very little. To me, your comments suggest very little capacity to interpret the world around you.

Whatever your job is and however much you believe your eyes are open and you 'see', you clearly don't.

What I have liked about this thread is that everyone has shared their opinions in a respectful manner, and there have been some really interesting and thought provoking responses.

I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this post and why you feel the need to be insulting, but it’s not really in the spirit of the rest of the thread!

I think rising inequality has a lot to answer for

Just living is more expensive now due to silly house prices and social media makes people feel inadequate
I'm not sure this is really the case. My OH and I do very similar jobs both my parents were doing working FT.

My parents lifestyle was more modest than ours. They rarely went abroad on holidays and only made one or two trips somewhere exotic. They had nice cars but not too of the range. My sister and ai certainly didn't have the equivalent gadgets my kidshad, and they themselves never had what most they friends had.

For the same equivalent income, my parents had a lower expectation of luxuries than our generation. What most people in our income range expect is what those of the next level income enjoyed my parents generation.