Page 5 | AIBU to want my husband to wear something other than tracksuit bottoms

Firenight · 2020-11-19T19:40:56+00:00

We are both working from home and since the spring he has lived in tracksuit bottoms and sweatshirts every single day for work. He looks a mess. He's rarely on video calls so it's doesn't matter professionally but it does matter to me as I do have to look at him. AIBU?

firesong · 20/11/2020 18:15

He don't like bras in the evenings. I've got really small boobs and prefer little crop top type things at home, or just a vest.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/11/2020 18:19

@Aposterhasnoname

I don’t get this, my DH is currently sporting a Darth Vader onesie, whilst I’m wearing a little giraffe number, complete with tail.

Still gonna shag each other senseless later.

Will you role play though?

Lord Vader: "I shall have intercourse with you now, giraffe. Do not disappoint me."
Giraffe: "Hum"
Lord Vader: "I am altering position. Pray I do not alter it further.
Giraffe: "Hum"

(Apparently giraffes hum)

bluebluezoo · 20/11/2020 18:32

Oh lord I’ve worn nothing but joggers since march

I dislike fitted clothes anyway, plus I’ve put on so much weight in lockdown I doubt any of my normal clothes will fit 😥

unmarkedbythat · 20/11/2020 18:34

Yabu and weird. If DH told me I had to wear something other than the clothes I wanted to wear because he has to look at me, I would tell him to fuck the fuck off.

PeggyPorschen · 20/11/2020 18:41

@unmarkedbythat

Yabu and weird. If DH told me I had to wear something other than the clothes I wanted to wear because he has to look at me, I would tell him to fuck the fuck off.

but why would you make an effort for everybody else but him?

Dh has an opinion on a few of my clothes, sometimes I ignore him, sometimes I listen - he does the same

If he was only shaving/washing his hair or whatever when he was seeing others, but never bothered because it was just me, we would have a problem.

Life is too short to stick with someone who believes you don't matter. There's being comfortable as a couple, and there's being ignored.

JanQi · 20/11/2020 18:47

@lazylinguist

I honestly find this current obsession with comfiness a bit weird. I dress smart casual for work and don't find any of my clothes uncomfortable, so I don't feel the need to whip them off and put loungewear on when I get home. I usually stay in the same clothes until bedtime. If I had to wear a suit to work I'd come home and change into jeans and a jumper or something.

I never ever wear pyjamas unless I'm going to bed or am really ill. I have days I don't work, and I dress pretty much the same as I do for work. Currently long A-line tweedy skirt, long-sleeved top, tights and DMs. I just don't wear uncomfortable things. I haven't worn a pair of heels in about 15 years. There's a big difference between casual and slobby imo.

I think it's weirder that you're able to relax in same clothes you've been at work in all day. How on earth is it weird to want to be comfy? Even when I wasn't WFH every day I still liked to get changed into loungewear when I got home. And let's face it, things are bleak at the moment, so I'm taking comfort in the small pleasures (excuse the pun) and that includes wearing lots of lovely soft loungewear.

ShrikeAttack · 20/11/2020 18:59

I'm with Lazy, I don't understand the 'comfortable clothes' thing. All of my clothes are comfortable. I'm wearing a cashmere polo neck, cord skirt, Wolford tights and a mohair cardigan (with sheepskin slippers admittedly) and I'm perfectly comfortable. If your clothes fit they're comfortable, surely? (No bra, but I don't ever wear one).

bluebluezoo · 20/11/2020 19:17

I'm with Lazy, I don't understand the 'comfortable clothes' thing. All of my clothes are comfortable

Well good for you.

'm wearing a cashmere polo neck, cord skirt, Wolford tights and a mohair cardigan (with sheepskin slippers admittedly) and I'm perfectly comfortable

I can’t stand the feeling of long sleeves around my wrist, or a neckline higher than my shoulders. Even if loose. I can’t wear polo necks at all, just the feeling if something round my neck.

Cord skirt- yes i like skirts but it would need to be an elasticated waist, i don’t like the feel of waistbands.

Tights- no, not ever.

Not everyone has the same sensory input. I need soft, loose fabrics to be comfortable. So I mainly wear joggers, yoga pants and vest tops with a zip up cardi/fleece.

ShrikeAttack · 20/11/2020 19:22

I can't feel anything on my wrist though! (Or neck), it's just really soft and gauzy, not constrained at all.

ShrikeAttack · 20/11/2020 19:24

I can't see how jogging-bottoms and a hoodie would be more comfortable.

TonMoulin · 20/11/2020 19:42

I’m currently wearing a soft loose pair of trousers with wide legs.
They are comfy and not clingy.
They are also not jaggy bottoms.

unmarkedbythat · 20/11/2020 20:54

@PeggyPorschen

unmarkedbythat

Yabu and weird. If DH told me I had to wear something other than the clothes I wanted to wear because he has to look at me, I would tell him to fuck the fuck off.

but why would you make an effort for everybody else but him?

I wouldn't let anyone dictate my choice of clothes to me. I make lots of effort in lots of ways and dress up when it suits me. If my DH felt me being comfortable was less important than him liking what I wore he would not be someone worth making an effort for.

Life is too short to stick with someone who believes you don't matter. There's being comfortable as a couple, and there's being ignored.

If you think refusing to allow someone to dictate what you can wear means you believe they don't matter, we have a very different understanding of what it means to matter to someone.

gamerchick · 21/11/2020 14:03

@ShrikeAttack

I can't feel anything on my wrist though! (Or neck), it's just really soft and gauzy, not constrained at all.

So you have different sensory needs to others. Is that really hard to understand?

the clobber you're wearing is my idea of a scratchy, constrictive hell. But good for you.

bluebluezoo · 21/11/2020 14:07

So you have different sensory needs to others. Is that really hard to understand? confused the clobber you're wearing is my idea of a scratchy, constrictive hell. But good for you

Precisely.

Not everyone has the same sensory input. What feels nice and soft to you may not feel the same to someone else. I don’t like mohair or wool, it feels greasy and slippy to me.

PeggyPorschen · 21/11/2020 15:41

I think it's weirder that you're able to relax in same clothes you've been at work in all day. How on earth is it weird to want to be comfy?

it's not - but even my suits are comfy. I don't understand people who buy jeans they find uncomfortable so they have to get rid of them the minute they walk home. My jeans are comfy, I would change into them when I am home

Granted they would not be ideal to go the gym, that's why I have sports clothes, but I don't do the same movements at home!

I like to wear different work clothes and more casual clothes, but mainly because my work clothes are expensive, mainly dry-cleaning only and I like my casual clothes too.

What IS weird is NOT being comfy all the time until you put some pjs on You must buy the wrong size or the wrong shape!

PeggyPorschen · 21/11/2020 15:45

unmarkedbythat

you are willingly confusing "dictate" with "making an effort for".
It's not about someone telling you what to do, it's about you at least making the same efforts for you than for others.

unmarkedbythat · 21/11/2020 16:11

I'm guessing you mean "making the same effort for your partner as you do for others"? What makes you think I dress to suit anyone other than myself? Why would I do that? In any case, as I think I made clear already, I would not see someone who made a fuss about me wearing comfy clothes at home because they have to look at me when wearing them someone worth making any sort of effort for, I would think they were a shallow and strange person.

nosswith · 21/11/2020 16:12

Ask him why he wants to dress like Jimmy Savile.

june2007 · 21/11/2020 16:17

So anyone who likes Joggers are dressing like Jimmy Saville?

BrandyandDeath · 21/11/2020 16:48

Well... yes?

HotSince63 · 21/11/2020 16:51

So anyone who likes Joggers are dressing like Jimmy Saville?

I find them to look more prison inmate than Jimmy Saville, but nosswith comment did make me laugh.

PeggyPorschen · 21/11/2020 17:22

@unmarkedbythat

I'm guessing you mean "making the same effort for your partner as you do for others"? What makes you think I dress to suit anyone other than myself? Why would I do that? In any case, as I think I made clear already, I would not see someone who made a fuss about me wearing comfy clothes at home because they have to look at me when wearing them someone worth making any sort of effort for, I would think they were a shallow and strange person.

I don't know how YOU dress

The OP wrote that her partner only looks a mess because he's working from home. If YOU were dressing for other people only , not your partner, it would say a lot about how little you care. It's not about being shallow.

I wear comfy clothes and I don't look a mess.

Series2 · 21/11/2020 21:21

Don't get the whole "I'll wear what I like" thing and my spouse can fuck off. If my DH (of 20 years) told me he hated me in something I'd ditch it in a heartbeat. I still want him to fancy me and me him even in "comfy clothes". For example, right now I'm wearing a onesie, but it is not an animal one (it's kinda Aztec) and I have it zipped down a bit and I look hot in it! It's comfy, he likes it, win win!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/11/2020 21:28

I know what you mean OP - I always think men who always wear tracksuits look like they're on house arrest. Sadly I suppose we're all sort of on house arrest. Hopefully he'll smarten up when he has to venture out into the world again.