Stop asking if I’m Mrs or Miss

[catspyjamas123]

I just hate it when companies ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - what business is it whether I’m married or not? I’ve politely put up with it for years but it makes me fume. They don’t ask men if they are married. Even worse, some companies assume I am a Mrs. I am NOT. I am very happily divorced and definitely a Ms. Are they being unreasonable? Vote yes if it’s a completely unnecessary intrusion into your home life. Vote no if it’s quite alright to all live in a 1950s nightmare!

Computers can be manually overridden. Phone them up and make them remove it.

if the computerised form requires a title it can't. No title just rejects the rest of the data

I have asked many times not to have title and I know other people have tried the same thing. They are always told that they have to add one.

In that case i always say "put Mx". If they don't have that option i select "Mr." and on the phone that does cause problems, but if you insist they often say "ok".

Interestingly in Germany you get "Herr" or "Frau" and now that "divers" is officially an option, you can increasingly select that option

Wear your wedding ring if you like. Just like a pigeon wears a ring on its leg to show it is owned by someone. Just let me be free. The titles are unnecessary.

Yes, this is exactly why I wear a ring. I am proud to belong to my husband. I'm an independent woman with my own money and career but I'm also a wife and that brings me happiness with no feelings that I should be sad that I wear a bring and use the title "Mrs"

Wear your wedding ring if you like. Just like a pigeon wears a ring on its leg to show it is owned by someone

Did you mean to sound like such a dick?

Who on earth wants to "belong" to their husband?!!!

@FudgeDrudge

Wear your wedding ring if you like. Just like a pigeon wears a ring on its leg to show it is owned by someone

Did you mean to sound like such a dick?

of course they did

Whilst it was meant as a dig, not sure they appreciate how bitter they come across, some people really have issues and it shows

@BoggledBudgie

You’re being unreasonable - as in, yes they should be using your proper title. Men don’t get asked because they only have one title.

They should ask if you use a title, or at least 'What title do you use?' not 'Are you miss or mrs?' The obvious answer to that one is No.

What makes you more of a lady because you are married? I always rather think of Mrs as the title for cleaning ladies and primary school ma’am’s. Not something I aspire to be - although both worthy key roles. Or the sort of “Mrs Down-the-road” who elderly gossips talk about.

I am most certainly not a dick. Don’t have one of those. No sireeee.

Not sure they appreciate how bitter they come across, some people really have issues and it shows

@peggyporschen What issues do you imagine I have?

I always rather think of Mrs as the title for cleaning ladies and primary school ma’am’s

Getting ever more dickish by the post.

I'm not a Mrs and I don't wear a ring, and I can still tell you're being purposefully insulting. I guess you think you're being funny.

@catspyjamas123

Not sure they appreciate how bitter they come across, some people really have issues and it shows

@peggyporschen What issues do you imagine I have?

what exactly do you honestly think you'll achieve by comparing someone wearing a wedding ring with a pigeon?

You know they won't jump "oh you are so right, let's put a stop to this patriarchy tradition", so what is your point? It's not a discussion, it's just being rude and trying to be witty but failing miserably.

No one can be that bothered and prickly about someone's else choice without some painful background issues. Most of us wouldn't even notice if you happen to wear a wedding ring or not.

I always rather think of Mrs as the title for cleaning ladies

please keep going

@PeggyPorschen but it’s not rude to call women who prefer the title “boots”? Or me a “dick”? Is that right.

Gosh, what issues would I have with the institution of marriage? Just that it robbed me of my life savings.

That’s not to say you can’t have a relationship of that nature and be happy in it.....

The title Ms, I should say.

@catspyjamas123

yes, that's why women chose to change their name, that's the only reason hmm

What are all the other excellent reasons that apparently only women see the appeal of?

Feeling better after your goady little post?

Well...I'm not feeling bad it

[quote catspyjamas123]@PeggyPorschen but it’s not rude to call women who prefer the title “boots”? Or me a “dick”? Is that right.

Gosh, what issues would I have with the institution of marriage? Just that it robbed me of my life savings.

That’s not to say you can’t have a relationship of that nature and be happy in it.....[/quote]
I defend the right for women to chose, don't care what YOU prefer or chose and have never called anyone boots or dick. I don't put everybody in the same bag 🤷
I didn't even know the term boots as an insult, this forum is always a mine of new information!

Just that it robbed me of my life savings. I am really sorry to hear that, genuinely. It is quite clear that there is always a background to anyone having issues, was my point.

Gosh, what issues would I have with the institution of marriage? Just that it robbed me of my life savings.

Your poor choice of husband took your life savings. The institution of marriage did not.
And calling yourself Ms didn't help you in the sligtest.

Dear God, this has turned nasty. So much for sisterhood. Nobody who insults other people with gibes like some of these has any business calling themselves a feminist.

@Searchesforhipbones

Haven’t Germany and France made moves to have just one title for adult women? As well as making it the legal default to keep your birth name? (Or is the latter just france and spain)

Yes, in Germany it used to be "Fräulein" but this title was dismissed over 20 years ago. Everyone is a Frau now.

@frolicmum was actually called fräulein very frequently in germany between the ages of 16-21 10 years ago so not sure why you think it was dropped 20 years ago

In France, Mademoiselle was dropped in official communication from the government I think. Of course people can still use it among themselves.

crumble BUT the use of 'Mrs' to signify married woman only is a relativley new phenomenon.
The MUCH older tradition is the use of 'Mrs' to mean a woman with authority, eg an employer, or with wealth, or of mature, rather than teenage, years, or worthy of respect in other ways, with NO reference to marital status.
I've posted the relevant research article up thread, but here it is again:

www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms-untangling-the-shifting-history-of-titles

Sorry, I can spell 'relatively'. More haste less speed.

They need to ask you in order the write to you correctly. You might be Dr or Miss, Mrs, Ms, Professor, Dame anything really.

I wouldn't like to get a letter address to Ms Schoolrun very much. I would like it even less if I was a Dr. Yes is isn't their business if you are married or not but all you have to do is answer Ms and they won't/already don't care,

@FudgeDrudge yes go on, accuse me of a poor choice of husband. Would you say the same to a woman who was a victim of domestic abuse? Because I was the victim of financial and emotional abuse, eagerly facilitated by the family courts, all thanks to the marriage ceremony.