Stop asking if I’m Mrs or Miss

[catspyjamas123]

I just hate it when companies ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - what business is it whether I’m married or not? I’ve politely put up with it for years but it makes me fume. They don’t ask men if they are married. Even worse, some companies assume I am a Mrs. I am NOT. I am very happily divorced and definitely a Ms. Are they being unreasonable? Vote yes if it’s a completely unnecessary intrusion into your home life. Vote no if it’s quite alright to all live in a 1950s nightmare!

@bluebluezoo don’t forget the lesbians who are so frowned on by the Mrs brigade!

@Bwlch I mean you will discover you ARE a chattel if you ever come to divorce. Particularly if you have had the temerity to earn well and save and be financially responsible. You will discover you are your Mr’s cash cow and he is taking half of it!

Its a drop down menu. I have to pick one. You can't get any further if you don't. If I pick one at random and get it wrong you will bitch and moan about that too. Is it really a big deal?

assuming this is addressed to the thread and not the OP: Wrong. I will bitch and moan (if i have the time, inclination or energy) at being forced to pick one. If the only choices are Mr/Miss/Mrs - I will pick Mr.

It was the way you phrased it @Venicelover,as you well know. You are being disingenuous.

Let's leave it there, sweetie.

Have literally just been phoned by a charity wanting to speak to Mrs Sophie.

No one by that name, say I, full of this thread.
"Oh well I have a Miss Sophie is that you?"
No, I retort. In a Ms

Oh I do apologise, she says (poor woman), yes I have that down here, Ms Sophie".

Grrr. So even tho I am registered on their system as Ms, she could not believe it? Respect it? Pronounce it?

@madcatladyforever

It does royally piss me off too, there should just be one "Ms" for everyone. At 60 Miss makes me feel like an old spinster even though I'm perfectly happy divorced.

Ms for everybody.

I have to send out documents at work and a few people have challenged me but im changing the world for the better one ms at a time

So it’s no biggie and no reason to make a fuss but so many people have commented in a short time!

I absolutely hate being referred to as Ms.

Why, locked ?

@catspyjamas123

So it’s no biggie and no reason to make a fuss but so many people have commented in a short time!

I actually think it is a "biggie" that in the UK women change title if they marry where as men get the grown-up title whether or not they are married.

It is a legal title as verified by the marriage certificate you signed.

Why do you keep repeating this nonsense?

No marrriage cert makes mention of the word 'Mrs'. It is purely a convention. Some married women use it, some don't. Some women use it even after divorce. If it were a 'legal title', its use would be regulated, but it isn't.

@Belladonna12 I agree. I was being scarcastic. I hate it too.

It is very relevant. It is about choice. What is feminism if not the ability to choose what suits you as a woman? I don't view it the way you do. Is that acceptable?

No feminism isn't about the ability to choose what suits you as a woman especially if what you choose undermines equality of the sexes.

So let's have a campaign.
Let's follow the French and other European nations.
Let's have 'Mrs' for all women over approx 20, regardless of marital status.
Offends no-one. Is based on centuries old historical practice.
Refers to a title of hnour: in the past, 'Mrs' = a woman of adult years worthy of respect.
Can anyone really object to that?
If so, why?
If some people prefer 'Ms'= as a different shortening of the same word, 'Mistress', then why not.

[quote catspyjamas123]@Belladonna12 I agree. I was being scarcastic. I hate it too.[/quote]
Ah! Sorry!

@florascotia2

So let's have a campaign. Let's follow the French and other European nations. Let's have 'Mrs' for all women over approx 20, regardless of marital status. Offends no-one. Is based on centuries old historical practice. Refers to a title of hnour: in the past, 'Mrs' = a woman of adult years worthy of respect. Can anyone really object to that? If so, why? If some people prefer 'Ms'= as a different shortening of the same word, 'Mistress', then why not.

I agree. Ms hasn't worked so everyone should be Mrs.

@LyingDogsLie1

I totally agree. I don’t think it’s right that a woman reveals so much about herself by her title. When you consider that Mrs derived from Mr’s (as in his possession) it makes it even worse. Miss then Ms I think - like Master to Mr.

I never knew that. It's obvious now you mention it. I'm definitely going to be Ms Maiden name when I get married.

Miss then Ms I think - like Master to Mr.

It hasn't worked though as married women don't use it and everyone assumes you are single/divorced. Better for everyone to use Mrs.

@Eckhart

It was the way you phrased it *@Venicelover*,as you well know. You are being disingenuous.

Let's leave it there, sweetie.

OK, sweetie!!

The point is we don’t want anyone making any unnecessary assumptions. That’s why the question is irritating. It’s asking your marital status even if it’s just a question the operative has to ask. I’m not ashamed of my marital status but I just don’t see how it is relevant. Men are not asked.

@catspyjamas123 No, we are Fraulein until we marry, then we become Frau 🙂
It doesn't bother me if someone asks me my marital status or refers to me as Mrs.

It is a legal title as verified by the marriage certificate you signed

This is bollocks. There is no mention of Mrs on a marriage certificate. If you keep your family name then you sign the certificate as Jane Smith. You don't sign it as Mrs Jane Brown. Absolute nonsense that it is a "legal title".

I hate Ms and am pleased to be a Mrs. It,s not rude to ask what your official title is actually all my sisters are Dr. I am the only Mrs.

I mean you will discover you ARE a chattel if you ever come to divorce. Particularly if you have had the temerity to earn well and save and be financially responsible. You will discover you are your Mr’s cash cow and he is taking half of it!

Am I sensing a railway sleeper sized chip on someone's shoulder?

But what are you pleased about? That strangers know you've got a man by way of the title you choose to use?

@Bwlch no chip at all. I am free now but I can see the system for what it is.