To think being drunk twice a week is too much?

[Poppy745]

My husband is mid 30s and he’s drunk twice a week, sometimes even three times a week.

We have a young family and although most mornings he does get up and help me with the kids, you can tell he’s hungover and is grumpy most of the time. He also doesn’t come to bed until 3/4am when he’s drinking so he doesn’t sleep for very long. He works away/works from home so this doesn’t affect his work.

I’m not a big drinker at all, I never drink at home, I only drink if there is an occasion like a wedding or party.. so I don’t actually know what is normal in regards to drinking.

He’s drunk again tonight and I just hate looking at him to be honest.

I should add it wouldn’t bother me if he had a few beers a couple nights a week, it’s a whole bottle of vodka he drinks each time.

It depends how drunk- I'd rather a partner had a few every night than necked a bottle once a week and was totally incapacitated

A whole bottle of vodka 2-3 times a week? Even one bottle of vodka a week to himself is too much especially if it means he's an arse the next day. YANBU I couldn't live with that

I'm no expert but if he's drinking that much and can't stop he's an alcoholic?

How long will you put up with this?

He's displaying alcoholic behaviour and in my experience it'll get worse , it'll creep up to four times a week to five ,six then daily

He’s an alcoholic.

That's a scary amount of alcohol. Not normal at all.

Have you spoken to him about his drinking, when he's sober?

I imagine he drinks a lot when he works away.

He's worked up to this as well. No-one begins their "drinking career" with a bottle of vodka in one sitting

It doesn't matter that you don't drink @Poppy745 surely you know a bottle of vodka in one go, is not normal.

A whole bottle of vodka? In one evening? That's a lot. Going to bed so late must mean he has almost no sleep. If he can still even vaguely function after that amount of alcohol, he's built up a scary level of tolerance which is also very worrying.

He’s an alcoholic. And if he can drink a whole bottle of vodka and still function the following day then he’s been one for a while.
And if he drives then he will be breaking the law.
You need to decide what to do. I wouldn’t have my kids around someone who behaved like that.

I would think that for most parents being drunk is a few time a year event, if that, rather than a few times a week.

Sorry OP, I think he's an alcoholic ☹️

Yep, he's an alcoholic. Drinking whole bottles of vodka alone at home 2-3 times a week is a pretty serious drinking problem. I am speaking from experience of living with an alcoholic partner who actually died in his 30s from it. Please do not do nothing. This needs addressing and urgently, especially as you have children.

Wow that's a lot.

Big difference between a bottle of beer or glass of wine with dinner and a bottle of vodka! I think that's a drink problem

Not that this is necessarily a deal-breaker. He has an addiction and needs to seek help and treatment.

When you say a 'whole bottle' do you mean 35cls or a litre?

Yes he's an alcoholic and he's heading for an early grave if he doesn't stop. Drinking at this level is unacceptable in any circumstances.

You say he helps with the kids, which makes it sound like they're your responsibility really. Is that what you believe? Aren't they his kids, too? Expect higher standards from him. He is putting his drink above his kids, and you. That's the mark of an alcoholic.

How big is the bottle of vodka? It doesn’t sound great... or the regularity! Have you spoken to him?

OMG a whole bottle of spirits?! He's going to die pretty soon at that rate. YANBU - I hope you manage to find a way to broach this with him.

A 'bottle' is not a a set size. We don't know know if he's drinking one of those small mini bottles or a full size 1 litre. What is a 'bottle' OP?

If it is a full bottle then that is a lot.

Once you have kids this shit has to stop

Being drunk once a week as a parent is pretty selfish tbh.

That's a problem. Once a week would be a problem, too. That's not a normal or healthy habit.