To send screenshot of Year 7 WhatsApp group chat encouraging knives in school.

[Sailingtelltales]

The question really is how far do secondary schools take business conducted outside of school seriously?
IABU to forward WhatsApp group chat content with Year 7s encouraging bad behaviour to the school headmistress, or just let them deal with it in their own time??

My son is 11.
Both he and his slightly older sister have had a relatively sheltered upbringing. Neither have had access to nor are interested in things like MTV type music videos, social media, bragging, showing off, pretending to be gangsters in the style of textspeak they use with friends on their phone or Xbox in-game chat, that sort of thing.

They are both appalled by other kids bad behaviour in school, and neither have ever broken the rules.
My son has become house Captain within a month of starting secondary school and has already complained that class discipline is so poor he can’t actually learn .

Not to make them sound too square, they’re otherwise normal kids, have friends, stable family life, gaming consoles, mobile phones (monitored by us with their knowledge) etc

However, having scrolled through a group WhatsApp on his phone, I’m astonished to find kids I’ve known since their infant school days, using the worst kind of language, the girls being cajoled into posting photos of their faces, girls being called whores, and that their fellow 11 year old boys in their school want to ‘ gangbang them and their Year 7 mums’ .

There’s also mention of a kid bringing his knife into school (which is being dealt with by school). But on the group chat, he’s being encouraged to do it yet again.

I know school can’t police anything outside the grounds, but should I screensave this chat and forward to the headmistress, where it’s mentioned he’ll be bringing a knife in again?

I appreciate most of this is down to my being a bit of a prude as far as the language and discussion goes on 11 year old’s WhatsApp group chats ....I had no idea ! .... and that boys this age are mostly big puffs of air.
...But we don’t live in an inner city urban gangland, we are east of England suburbia, so the issue with this kids peers encouraging him as ‘the class naughty boy’ to keep being naughty, is frustrating.

I’ve already deleted my son off this group chat but they keep adding him back onto it by changing Admin members daily, so I’m on a losing battle there.

I’ve spoken to both my kids about the topics raised in group chat and they understand why it’s wrong regarding the pressure to make girls post photos of themselves, and encouraging weapons in school.

The knife in question is a ‘butterfly’ knife by the way. My son and another classmate said the blade was blunt and he was just showing off with it.

How the hell do you even have to ask? Of course the school need to know.

@StatementKnickers because the question is asking whether school actually police pupil activity outside of school.

They don’t at junior school, was my experience.

I would send that to the school without doubt

Yes you need to make the school aware of that. They can judge whether it's a police matter re the knife, monitor the student concerned and as for the rest...goodness. Well you would hope they could arrange some workshops on respect, misogyny, and the current law.

Yes of course you must show the school.

Gosh OP. Yes, report to school.

I would contact police and school.

You have evidence of intent to commit knife crime.

As the mum of an 11yo who tried to take his own life after having a knife pulled on him in school please act. You don't know which child's life will be ruined by these actions.

Well how would you feel if said naughty boy was encouraged to use the knife on someone? I would definately report to the school. Also report the cyber chat and hope the school send out some letters, etc to deal with it.
You're kids aren't square the other kids sound like they don't have very good parents or boundaries.

Yes, take screenshots and let the school know. This needs stopping, and most schools will do something about it. There's plenty there that is unacceptable, if not verging on illegal.
Kids need to know not to upload photos (even faces, but let's hope they can get the message across before that gets worse). Parents need to be advised to keep an eye on their kids' social media.

When DD's school had an issue on social media, they identified all the kids who had been involved (even just following/liking) and spoke to them very seriously about it - they got someone in from outside school. They sent stuff home and also organised an evening meeting with the outside agency for parents. I think it was enough to warn a fair few of them off.

My son is 10. I would be horrified if I found content like that on his phone and yes, I'd send the whole lot to the school.

[quote Sailingtelltales]@StatementKnickers because the question is asking whether school actually police pupil activity outside of school.

They don’t at junior school, was my experience.[/quote]
I found out a boy (y6) was going to bring a BB gun to school the next day. The school checked his bag the next day, called the police and suspended the boy. Not sure what else happened but they took it very seriously.

Definitively tell the school. They have no jurisdiction over children outside school and most teachers wouldn’t want it but they can decide if it’s a police matter and maybe do some of the things LilacPebbles mentioned.

I'm a secondary teacher. I'd definitely send in the encouraging taking a knife bit in and also the joke threats of gang banging.

I find it incredible that parents aren’t monitoring their 11 year olds social media/gaming chat/phone messaging.

I know it’s a different world and my kids are going to be subjected to horrific stuff (one of them saw that recent bloke blowing his face off live for instance, because their friends uploaded it to a group chat) so it’s unavoidable.
Mind you my kid said it didn’t look real, like a bad gaming special effect, so that’s one thing I guess if they can’t tell the difference between real blood and guts and film special effects.

Anyway, consensus seems to be report it, so I’ll start drafting an email to the headmistress this evening I think.

Yes and as previously stated please screenshot as they will support professionals. There is the obvious around possible risk management in the school and the pastoral support around knife crime, early intervention around gangs etc. From a safeguarding perspective its also possible that some of these children may be being criminally exploited and school will know what to do in terms of social care & police.

I work in this particular area at a secondary school and I understand why you’d feel the need to check as the bad behaviour/language aren’t a matter the school could deal with but if it’s talk about a knife coming in to the school then yes they need to see it. My DD is in year 7 too and it is shocking what some do/say.

Please do. Sounds like a load of child protection issues in there. Just because it's the norm around children does not mean adults should accept it goes on without acting. If it concerns safeguarding the school will act, regardless as to when or where it took place. Coersing young girls to send pictures their not comfortable with... carrying a weapon or threatening to are potentially legal offenses.

Yes you must tell the school, they need to know that a knife might be brought in.

No question, speak to the school ASAP.

Think I’d either go private or move tbh

@MsTSwift

Think I’d either go private or move tbh

What makes you think that would solve the problem? I sincerely doubt that OP’s child’s school is the only one where year 7’s do this sort of thing.

I'd love to be able to speak to the parents of these kids but know that wouldnt end well

Pretty sure you can adjust settings on WhatsApp to prevent you being added to groups?

School needs to give pupils a serious lecture on danger of WhatsApp chat. As stupid misogynistic racist sexist etc messages can ruin university and career prospects. Best not to get into the habit of it or allow that kind of chat to become normalised. Well reported case of a couple of Exeter university law students who had their training contracts with city firms (deservedly) cancelled after racist WhatsApp messages were published. It’s not okay.