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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send screenshot of Year 7 WhatsApp group chat encouraging knives in school.

127 replies

Sailingtelltales · 14/11/2020 19:26

The question really is how far do secondary schools take business conducted outside of school seriously?
IABU to forward WhatsApp group chat content with Year 7s encouraging bad behaviour to the school headmistress, or just let them deal with it in their own time??

My son is 11.
Both he and his slightly older sister have had a relatively sheltered upbringing. Neither have had access to nor are interested in things like MTV type music videos, social media, bragging, showing off, pretending to be gangsters in the style of textspeak they use with friends on their phone or Xbox in-game chat, that sort of thing.

They are both appalled by other kids bad behaviour in school, and neither have ever broken the rules.
My son has become house Captain within a month of starting secondary school and has already complained that class discipline is so poor he can’t actually learn Grin.

Not to make them sound too square, they’re otherwise normal kids, have friends, stable family life, gaming consoles, mobile phones (monitored by us with their knowledge) etc

However, having scrolled through a group WhatsApp on his phone, I’m astonished to find kids I’ve known since their infant school days, using the worst kind of language, the girls being cajoled into posting photos of their faces, girls being called whores, and that their fellow 11 year old boys in their school want to ‘ gangbang them and their Year 7 mums’ Hmm.

There’s also mention of a kid bringing his knife into school (which is being dealt with by school). But on the group chat, he’s being encouraged to do it yet again.

I know school can’t police anything outside the grounds, but should I screensave this chat and forward to the headmistress, where it’s mentioned he’ll be bringing a knife in again?

I appreciate most of this is down to my being a bit of a prude as far as the language and discussion goes on 11 year old’s WhatsApp group chats ....I had no idea ! .... and that boys this age are mostly big puffs of air.
...But we don’t live in an inner city urban gangland, we are east of England suburbia, so the issue with this kids peers encouraging him as ‘the class naughty boy’ to keep being naughty, is frustrating.

I’ve already deleted my son off this group chat but they keep adding him back onto it by changing Admin members daily, so I’m on a losing battle there.

I’ve spoken to both my kids about the topics raised in group chat and they understand why it’s wrong regarding the pressure to make girls post photos of themselves, and encouraging weapons in school.

OP posts:
christinarossetti19 · 16/11/2020 19:28

I'm not deluding myself thanks feministbias.

My ds only uses Whatsapp for keeping in touch with his friends from primary school. They also Facetime from time to time.

He uses it about twice a week. He mislaid his phone for 5 days last week and wasn't really bothered.

That's fine by me.

Feministicon · 16/11/2020 19:46

@christinarossetti19

Yes I 11 year old has Whatsapp. He didn't have a phone before lock down but it's the only way for him to keep in touch with his friends from his old school at the moment.

I monitor it closely. I'd rather he didn't have it and was doing swimming, music and the after school clubs that he did a year ago, but it's needs must at the moment.

Same here.
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