To send screenshot of Year 7 WhatsApp group chat encouraging knives in school.

[Sailingtelltales]

The question really is how far do secondary schools take business conducted outside of school seriously?
IABU to forward WhatsApp group chat content with Year 7s encouraging bad behaviour to the school headmistress, or just let them deal with it in their own time??

My son is 11.
Both he and his slightly older sister have had a relatively sheltered upbringing. Neither have had access to nor are interested in things like MTV type music videos, social media, bragging, showing off, pretending to be gangsters in the style of textspeak they use with friends on their phone or Xbox in-game chat, that sort of thing.

They are both appalled by other kids bad behaviour in school, and neither have ever broken the rules.
My son has become house Captain within a month of starting secondary school and has already complained that class discipline is so poor he can’t actually learn .

Not to make them sound too square, they’re otherwise normal kids, have friends, stable family life, gaming consoles, mobile phones (monitored by us with their knowledge) etc

However, having scrolled through a group WhatsApp on his phone, I’m astonished to find kids I’ve known since their infant school days, using the worst kind of language, the girls being cajoled into posting photos of their faces, girls being called whores, and that their fellow 11 year old boys in their school want to ‘ gangbang them and their Year 7 mums’ .

There’s also mention of a kid bringing his knife into school (which is being dealt with by school). But on the group chat, he’s being encouraged to do it yet again.

I know school can’t police anything outside the grounds, but should I screensave this chat and forward to the headmistress, where it’s mentioned he’ll be bringing a knife in again?

I appreciate most of this is down to my being a bit of a prude as far as the language and discussion goes on 11 year old’s WhatsApp group chats ....I had no idea ! .... and that boys this age are mostly big puffs of air.
...But we don’t live in an inner city urban gangland, we are east of England suburbia, so the issue with this kids peers encouraging him as ‘the class naughty boy’ to keep being naughty, is frustrating.

I’ve already deleted my son off this group chat but they keep adding him back onto it by changing Admin members daily, so I’m on a losing battle there.

I’ve spoken to both my kids about the topics raised in group chat and they understand why it’s wrong regarding the pressure to make girls post photos of themselves, and encouraging weapons in school.

@Hazelnutlatteplease I couldn’t say. I don’t tend to rush off and search up posters’ comment history before replying on a post, but I do recognise you as the ‘anti-masker’ poster who thinks we all should be going maskless ‘to prevent government conspiracy’ or some such nonsense.

If we all searched up everyone’s comment history first and then based our response on our opinion of that person solely on what we find, god knows, this forum would be crumbling quicker than it is. MN is not the same place as it was 10 years ago.

I can’t see any evidence of spitefulness or glee, @LilacPebbles. However I’m not a keyboard warrior type, so if you want to carry on trying to bully me down, feel free, I won’t fight you. [shrug emoji] I’m not here for that sort of thing.

If you do speak to the school I would suggest making sure they don't leak that it came from you. I think you're right to be worried, but no-one wants to be the one whose mum went to the school and got everyone in trouble.

Bizarre and twisted? If you mean the graphic adjectives, that’s how it feels when you’re stabbed. You know from our PMs why that is.

If someone wants to label me a t*at for starting this thread that’s their right on a public debate forum I guess. Not nice to hear but it is what it is.

It’s an important topic about weapons in schools. Why it’s been hijacked into single parent bashing I can’t say. I have requested it’s taken down now the issue has long since been reported to school.

@LittleGwyneth that simply doesn’t happen in schools. They have absolute confidentiality.

@Sailingtelltales it's happened several times to my knowledge - usually because the parent who went to the school tells a friend or fellow parent, their child finds out and then spreads it.

Also I have to say, it gave me a bit of a giggle that you described kids not watching MTV as 'sheltered'. I don't think any kids who are currently that age have an idea what MTV is - it's a relic!

@LittleGwyneth no worries there my son is a school captain which has a large degree of responsibility and I’ve been a parent volunteer in school and run a school page - we are very both tight on confidentiality. I also have no parent friends and would not dream of discussing something so confidential IRL. Anonymous online forum maybe with no identifying factors, but certainly not outside of it.

And MTV that’s showing my age I guess no idea what today’s equivalent is!

Whose PMs? What are you talking about?

Sailingtelltails don't be silly. You started this thread on Saturday and reported it to the school this morning, so having asked others' opinions on what you should do. When you wrote the post, one possible option that you were considering was to let the children deal with it in their own time.

People have suggested that your dc may not be mature enough to be using social media if they can't remove themselves from this type of group chat and obviously weren't clued up enough to let an adult know about it (as you say that you found it scrolling through your son's phone). That's all.

@christinarossetti19 only one child has been added to this class group chat on his phone. He doesn’t participate in the chat so is unaware of the content.

And you guys think under 16’s shouldn’t have messaging apps 🤣🤣🤣

@LilacPebbles you said your 3 and 9 year old are in a Facebook school group so you could have been more helpful, that’s all, you clearly have experience of childhood use of underage social media.

"the priority is the weapon, not conversational childish bluster amongst 11 year olds which lets face it, is the parents responsibility"

The threat of gang rape and also general misogyny with the expectation of photos from the girls for the boys 'amusement' is absolutely as much a priority as the knife. Do you have daughters OP?

Guess the school once they read through the kids chat will identify and deal with any other issues in it. The immediate presence of a knife on school grounds will be the only issue school cares about right now.

[quote Sailingtelltales]@christinarossetti19 only one child has been added to this class group chat on his phone. He doesn’t participate in the chat so is unaware of the content.[/quote]
Why does he just not remove himself from the group and block the children who keep adding him back in?

I do honestly think that this level of initiative is essential to children having Whatsapp. It's very different from text messaging because of the groups.

Why does a group of 11 year olds have WhatsApp and Social Media? They aren’t mature enough for it.

@Sailingtelltales I remember Lilac explained the school asked her to join the primary school group during lockdown on the thread you found that info on. I

So every parent responding to this, their 10 or 11 years old kid isnt on any kind of messaging service? As WhatsApp isnt social media its a text messaging service.

Yes I 11 year old has Whatsapp. He didn't have a phone before lock down but it's the only way for him to keep in touch with his friends from his old school at the moment.

I monitor it closely. I'd rather he didn't have it and was doing swimming, music and the after school clubs that he did a year ago, but it's needs must at the moment.

The same as mine. He doesn’t have any social media. Although he doesn’t use WhatsApp other than to bug his sister with silly GIFS or receive messages from me. He uses the phone or video chat to actually stay in touch with real life friends.

Everyone saying 'it' s the only way for them to stay in touch' is deluding themselves.

There are number plus other methods for keeping in contact

Be honest- you gave in to peer pressure

They could text, FaceTime or call their friends.