AIBU to think we don’t NEED to move house.

[Whattheactual20201]

Me and DP are talking through logistics of the children’s bedrooms. We are not arguing but debating about long term.
I live in a nice area, good schools and our family live here.
i have a 3 bedroom terraced house with 2 DC
13 DS and 7 DD
I have just found out that I am 30 weeks pregnant but likely to be induced like previous 2 a few weeks early. Now this is not an immediate issue as we haven’t had much time to sort things as baby will be in with us for the first year.
The age gaps are obviously quite big which is what DP thinks the issue will be.
We could get a bigger house moving further out and 100 percent more for our money but I like my house and location.
Baby is a girl so I’m thinking she could share with DD1 who would be 8 or we use the dining room as a room if she needs her own space. By the time youngest is 10
The elder 2 would be 23 and 17.
He thinks due to age gaps we need to move to a 4 bedroom, I feel like it isn’t worth giving up locations and schools for.

Do you have children with large age gaps sharing a room ?

With 3 children and such large age gaps I would be loathe to lose any downstairs living space to make a bedroom.
I would go into the loft and make a bedroom with an extra bathroom. Keep the new baby in with you until the work was completed so 2 years to sort finances and get planning, choose a builder and have it completed.
Then move you and partner into new loft room and have the children all on the floor below.

You don’t say what financial assets your partner will bring to the home but I assume at the very least he has an income that would enable you to finance a loan for the work if not funds from the sale of his property/rent from it if he holds on to it. A decent loft conversion will be £50k plus so still cheaper than the extra £100k for a 4 bed in your area without the hassle of moving and school changes.

I'd go for a garden room that is properly wired in to the electrics, insulated and gas heating. Your DS and DD will fight over it...it will add value as lots of people will value it as a working from home space. It will cost less than moving, you might be able to do it for less than moving costs - stamp duty and estate agent fees can stack up,

Do you use the dining room on a daily basis? If so, if you can accommodate a dining table elsewhere I don't see why using that room as a bedroom would be a problem.
As the eldest becomes more detached and eventually moves out, look at a sofa bed to keep the room flexible.

Thank you I am taking everything on board and will have a good research around.

Money wise as I know some people said up thread it seems you can afford it.

I’m not well off, but pre covid I was financially stable. Saved really hard for this deposit for DC and I on this house and then for the Mortgage repayments.
2 years later I had some unexpected money come and it all went straight on the mortgage and some in savings. However I have been on unpaid leave due to my job not being one that had has to close through both lock downs but daughter having to shield.
So we are currently living on my savings.
Now obviously I will be going on maternity leave.
We have some time though so hopefully I will financially be back up once covid goes away.
DP works also suppose I’m not used to having someone else 🤣

OP,

Could you rent out your house and move into a larger rented house in your preferred location for a period of 2 years. Then decide if you are all happy living together and buy a new home together?

I think it is unfair of you to expect your DP to move into your current home and if you were the one moving in with him and his 2 DC and you were having his baby, people on here would be advising you to "get your own space". So he is not being unreasonable.

And I agree, moving from 3 people to 5 people in a small house will be a huge change (especially with a new baby). You will all feel on top of each other. I even find it, we had a new baby after we moved into this house (unplanned) and now older 2 are teens and we need to either move again or extend as the house feels so small.

But congrats and good luck OP - I would not sell your current home to buy with your DP until you have all lived together for at least 12 months.

Congratulations again on your pregnancy OP.

I think you shouldn't move yet, stay in your home in the nice area with the god schools until DC3 is a bit older.

I don’t have advice on the bedrooms op but just dropping in because I too found out I was pregnant with my first at 30 weeks and just wanted to say it happens and show my support. It’s a pretty overwhelming thing, Message me if you want to talk!

Personally I feel its too big a gap to share, if avoidable. There are 7 years between ds2 and 3, age 10 and 3.
10 year old is very good with ds3 but they're at completely different stages with ds3 obviously wanting big, messy plastic tat and ds2 just getting to the age where he wants a more grown up bedroom and has some expensive, breakable stuff he wouldn't want dc3 messing with...i can't imagine it would be very harmonious if they had to share!

Not rtft, but one of my best friends had a sister ten years younger. First year the baby slept in her parents room and then the two shared quite happily. I can still remember being round there one evening chatting quietly to my friend in her room, while 6yr old sister slept on quite happily in her bed on the other side of the (not very big) room

The location works for you, and it sounds like your house is big enough, so great.

Easiest would be loft extension, if you have the loft height. Otherwise a standalone in the garden for the eldest, or reconfigure rooms as you suggested. Extending would be cheaper than buying a bigger house in the same area.

Or you could try sharing for a short time, but your eldest DD would want her own space soon in all likelihood.

Congratulations!

You need to all get over the shock of the pregnancy before even thinking about other things.

And provide stability for your elder children

Then loft conversion

@Abracadabra12345

We built a loft conversion when we went from two to three children. It was the perfect solution

We did too ! And actually we made two rooms in the loft with a shower room so we have a spare room / office too