AIBU to think we don’t NEED to move house.

[Whattheactual20201]

Me and DP are talking through logistics of the children’s bedrooms. We are not arguing but debating about long term.
I live in a nice area, good schools and our family live here.
i have a 3 bedroom terraced house with 2 DC
13 DS and 7 DD
I have just found out that I am 30 weeks pregnant but likely to be induced like previous 2 a few weeks early. Now this is not an immediate issue as we haven’t had much time to sort things as baby will be in with us for the first year.
The age gaps are obviously quite big which is what DP thinks the issue will be.
We could get a bigger house moving further out and 100 percent more for our money but I like my house and location.
Baby is a girl so I’m thinking she could share with DD1 who would be 8 or we use the dining room as a room if she needs her own space. By the time youngest is 10
The elder 2 would be 23 and 17.
He thinks due to age gaps we need to move to a 4 bedroom, I feel like it isn’t worth giving up locations and schools for.

Do you have children with large age gaps sharing a room ?

I've got 7 years between my boys and they share. It was tough when ds2 was a toddler and ds1 wanted to hang out in his bedroom but as they got older (ds2 is preteen now) it's becoming less of an issue.
You say you have a dinning room I would let that be the babys "playroom" for want of a better word so your older child gets some time on her own in there. Or let the 2 who share have the biggest room and try divide it somehow.
Ds2 most of the time uses our room anyway.
Good luck and congratulations

I wouldn't go conservatory!

Orangery or proper extension that would be kitchen diner and turn current kitchen into utility and shower/WC

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow haha

@RandomMess maybe you could just pop over and sort it out for me 🤣🤣 that seems the best solution ! Are you better at drawing floor plans than me 🙈

I think they all need their own bedroom.

Loads of kids have to share bedrooms, even with big age gaps. It really isn’t that big a deal in real life, although it probably depends on the circles you move in.

Could you block off part of your own room for the baby. My toddler still sleeps in the corner of our room at 3yo, in a cozy corner behind a chest of drawers. She’s quite happy there.

If older one is likely to go to uni then use the money you save on the house to help him with living costs. Maybe you could give him the downstairs room to sleep in when he’s back from holidays, and give the girls their own rooms then.

Don’t uproot the kids for the sake of having their own rooms.

From personal experience I shared a room with a sister 6 years younger, until I left home. It was much easier than sharing with the closer age siblings. A curtain is all you need for privacy.

I would consider a loft extension If you have at least 6ft headspace. It’ll cost about £50, 000 for a full length extension with en-suite bathroom and take about 12 weeks to do. Then you can preserve your downstairs living space

I would do as suggested and swap the living room and dining room. It will cost you money to move that you could better use to build a summer house or similar if you want more room. You could insulate the roof and floor with celotex and even do the same with the walls.

I was 12 when my little sister was born and for a while she shared with me. My DM has selective memory about this but I can remember getting up for her in the night when she cried - it’s not ideal is it?

Omg just realised who you are from the intriguing post the other night. So it was the April time that worked then eh? Congrats!

Obviously it depends on the child, but I was 11 when my youngest sibling was born, and we shared a room most of the time after that. It wasn't a problem. We had occasional arguments, but mostly we got along fine.

It doesn't seem like there's an urgent need to move, in any case. You can make it work for a while, at least.

I’m trying to imagine my 11 yo having to share a bedroom with a 3yo. 11 year old has glass trinkets. She has expensive art supplies that she has arrayed on easy access racks. She has sketches in progress on her desk. Heck, she has a sharp knife on her desk for sharpening some of her drawing implements. Actually her room has been like this for a year. So imagine putting a 2yo in a room like that.

I think older kids should have a space that doesn’t have to be baby proofed.

Personally I would move, your home has a big impact on your quality of live and privacy is so important.

*life

Agree with PP that in my experience, sharing a room with my much-younger sister was easier than sharing with one just a few years younger. We butted heads more than the youngest and I.

Of course that will vary based on the personalities involved, but it's good to remember that a large or small age difference doesn't always affect the sibling relationship (or the relative ease of sharing a room) in the way you might expect.

I’d move as soon as possible. You don’t want to move 13yr old once he’s started his GCSEs.
I agree too it’s unfair to have your DD share with a baby/toddler when she’s used to her own space.

My 4yo shares with our 17&20yo. Doesn't bother them. Tbh they love it when he sneaks in their bed some nights haha. they could sleep through a festival most probably though so yea doesn't matter ! X

One other thing you might want to consider is trying to squeeze in a second bath/shower room - one between 3 is quite different to one between 5, especially when you have 2 teenagers in the house.

Hmm was just looking at prices in our area for 4 beds and they seem to be in about a region 100,00 difference from my property price. I will look at finances again.

@BoomBoomsCousin ah yea didn't think to mention that. we have 3 bathrooms, saves the que of a morning ! X

We only have one bathroom and no additional toilet either.

Balls I’m going to have to think about the car to 🤣🤣😭😭

You didn’t know you were pregnant until 30 weeks!!? How?

My 22 year old cousin didn't know she was pregnant until she had the baby on the bathroom floor.

8 years is a big gap to share a room. And when your eldest goes off to uni he'll be back for holidays at least. You can't take his room the moment he goes.