AIBU to think we don’t NEED to move house.

[Whattheactual20201]

Me and DP are talking through logistics of the children’s bedrooms. We are not arguing but debating about long term.
I live in a nice area, good schools and our family live here.
i have a 3 bedroom terraced house with 2 DC
13 DS and 7 DD
I have just found out that I am 30 weeks pregnant but likely to be induced like previous 2 a few weeks early. Now this is not an immediate issue as we haven’t had much time to sort things as baby will be in with us for the first year.
The age gaps are obviously quite big which is what DP thinks the issue will be.
We could get a bigger house moving further out and 100 percent more for our money but I like my house and location.
Baby is a girl so I’m thinking she could share with DD1 who would be 8 or we use the dining room as a room if she needs her own space. By the time youngest is 10
The elder 2 would be 23 and 17.
He thinks due to age gaps we need to move to a 4 bedroom, I feel like it isn’t worth giving up locations and schools for.

Do you have children with large age gaps sharing a room ?

[quote Whattheactual20201]@emilyfrost is moving a 13 maybe 14 year old at the time in to a new school fair also though.

I haven’t said no we have just been discussing it.[/quote]
13/14 is a fine age to move schools. It’s really not that big of a deal, but a lack of privacy and space and spending so much time with a sibling so much younger would cause friction, tension and resentment.

Hmm so our house lay out is

Kitchen and dining room together ( open ) and a separate living room area on other side. So we could switch the dining room in to living room and then living room in to 4th bedroom.

I wouldn't move if you're happy where you are. You said you have a dining room so you have space to make your current house work. We have 4 dc between us, dd 14, 2dss 13 and 10 and ds 2. Although not with us all the time, we converted the loft in our 3 bed house into a bedroom for my stepsons so this could be another option as pps have said.

My neices have always shared with a 7 year age difference.
The oldest is 21now and shares with her 14 year old sister.

Is a loft extension possible? Or any other?

Or maybe even a studio at the end of the garden, for when DS is an adult and wants to come back (!). He may love that idea? (Or hate it?!)

@Mhschoolq yeh I will look to the annexe idea. I mean we have a bit of time as baby will be in with me for a while.

My brother and I shared a room til I was 16, I'm 8 years older than him. My mum gave us the bigger room and we put the wardrobes in the middle of the room to divide it in two (rental, so couldn't put a wall up).
If it's your own house, could you do this and put a stud wall up to give 7yo & baby their own single rooms?

Awkward oh that’s an idea. I could move Us all around

Us in smallest bedroom, DS from biggest to middle and then the girls in the biggest room.

Can you divide one of the rooms into two? Loft extension, annex?

I'd prefer not to move a child to another school after year 8, year 9 at the latest. I'd have the baby in your room for two years until they outgrow a cot and are sleeping well at night, then have her share with your 7 year old. At 13 and 6 they'd probably want their own rooms though.

Is the garden very big? If yes, could you build a granny annexe for the oldest child? I'd look to do something like this for when the eldest is 16 to 18.

You all need to get on her other thread where she finds out.

I disagree that moving schools isn't a big deal at 14. I would have found it a horrific ordeal.

I would stay as you like the area and it's near family. I'd definitely switch the living room to a bedroom and just use the open plan kitchen/ dining room as a living space if it's big enough.

Also, if moving would cost you money (even if you were moving to the same price house, there'd still be legal fees, etc), can you use that money, plus start saving (if that is possible with current finances with a surprise baby) to look at an extension sometime in the future so that the living room is only a temporary solution. Like you say, you won't need an extra room for a year, then the living room solution for a while, then think about an extension, or even think again about moving in two or three years when you know what it's like living in the house with 5 of you.

Could you borrow anything on the mortgage for an extension- still may be cheaper than moving.

Especially as you are in London, you would likely find that if you moved out and then wanted to move back closer to family in the future, you may well be priced out.

@kowari yeh he really likes his school.
Daughter also requires hospital Appointments which I know we could travel for but it is handy being closer to her specialist hospital.

Agree with dividing largest room with stud wall and if possible separate entrances.

Easiest, quickest and cost effective solution. Don't move, the kids will move out anyway eventually!

Best of luck

If there’s a way to give them all a room I’d stay put but I wouldn’t expect the 8 year old to share. I’ve got dds with a nearly 7 year age gap and although they love each other the little one drives my eldest potty! She’d hate to have her messing with all her things

I shared my room with my sister with the same age gap. I used sanitary towels as stickers on the wall, the whole thing must have been pretty rubbish for my sister. Maybe that's why she moved out when she was 16...

Whatever you do, I'd find some extra space for them if you can.

My DDs share. They are 13.5 and 6. We have a 4 bedroom yet they share. They only have a few more years together before DD1 moves out, so they like sleeping in the same room. There are a few minor challenges around bedtime etc but we work around it. I think DD1 will need a separate room for studies when the GCSE prep begins in earnest. I think your girls can share for 5-6 years by when your DS would've moved to uni. Don't see the need for upheaval?

I have a 13yo DS and 8yo DD sharing a room. I can't afford to move so planning a loft conversion so DS can have his own room.

Dining room and kitchen could include living area with sofa and TV etc. Your bedroom in the living room eventually but baby in with you upstairs until they are 1. Or eldest child in the living room so you can be closer to baby when they move into their own room. It absolutely can work. If you have a garden, maybe get a small summer house as a reading nook / extra space for the older kids to use. I wouldn't move if you love the location and kids settled in schools. You just need to have v little clutter.

I don’t think sharing rooms is going to work with those age gaps. I know people do, but I don’t think it’s fair if you have other options. An eight year old shouldn’t have to share a room with a toddler, the sleep/bedtime issues, needing privacy, wanting to play with friends in their bedroom or have sleepovers. Then a few years later you’d have an adolescent sharing with a preschooler.

But it sounds like a bedroom downstairs or possibly extending would be an option, which would be better than moving house to an area you don’t like as much.

I'd stay where you are.

the dds can share until DS leaves home then have their own rooms. My dps had 3 dc in a 2 bed. It worked fine.

@Whattheactual20201
I found out I was pregnant at 31 weeks with my 4th! It happens. Congratulations 🥳

Moving schools at 13/14 is horrific (from my experience).
I think your idea of moving the bedrooms about works! You’re DD is thrilled about baby so I’m sure she will be fine. And like you say, if it gets too much you could always convert the living room or maybe by that point you’d have more money to move to a bigger house nearby.
Congratulations

I wouldn't move unless I had to because I wouldn't want to make my children move schools.

I think you won't need a four bedroomed house for that long either. A downstairs bedroom for the eldest or a loft conversion would be better I think. Good luck.