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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell friend she's accidentally used my baby scan photo?

367 replies

LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 18:54

My baby was born last month and one of my friends is currently pregnant. During my pregnancy, I shared some pictures of my scan photos with her.

A few days ago, she posted a photo of a scan picture on social media. I recognised the scan picture immediately as one of mine. I even dug out the actual scan photo to double check - it is definitely mine that she's used.

She has clearly meant to post a picture of one of her own scan photos, but has accidentally posted one of mine and she hasn't realised what she's done.

I didn't see the social media post when she initially posted it a few days ago. I only saw it for the first time today. Already, tons of people have liked the picture and have made comments, which she has replied to.

I think, if I'd have seen her social media post when she initially posted it, I would have let her know.. but a few days have gone by now and I don't know what to do.

Should I let my friend know she's accidentally used an image of my scan photo? Or, should I keep quiet and just let her enjoy the moment as it's not doing anyone any harm?

YABU - Yes, it would be unreasonable to tell her.
YANBU - No, it would not be unreasonable to tell her.

OP posts:
dinkie301 · 15/11/2020 00:08

OP I think you're friend would probably find it quite funny. I'd probably say something. But it's no biggie really and you don't have to say anything. All will forgotten when the baby comes anyway!
Just make sure she doesn't post photos of your baby passing the baby off as hers WinkGrin

TheFlis12345 · 15/11/2020 00:08

OP if your scan picture is as distinctive as you say, then she can’t possibly have posted it by accident. You can either ignore or ask her why.

calamityjam · 15/11/2020 00:10

I reckon she was comparing her scan to yours for whatever reason, then accidentally posted yours instead of hers

Sickofmysalary · 15/11/2020 00:23

Oh I wonder if @calamityjam has it? I quite often scroll back and screenshot an old pic to have it next to a new one in my gallery so I can swipe between them. Maybe she was intrigued to see how your measurements etc compared and accidentally posted the wrong one.

VulvaPerson · 15/11/2020 00:32

How odd.

My sisters friend did this years back, and it turned out she was not actually pregnant, and thats why she nicked sisters photo.

But if shes definitely pregnant as you say, I have no idea. Its not really something that could happen by accident if yours would be way back in her gallery either.

And I am fairly sure I would notice my kids' scan pictures. If you compare them too, it would be obvious. A baby could technically be in exactly the same position so a similar scan could happen, but the markings and such thats on there just would not be identical in differet scans.

caringcarer · 15/11/2020 01:06

Just text her to say you recognise she put your baby scan up.

Isoisoisolation · 15/11/2020 01:13

If she has Google photos she could have typed scan in on the search and anything like a scan in her photos would show. Possibly then pressed the wrong one

FloydWasACat · 15/11/2020 04:13

Biased maybe, but I know a person who kept o saying she was pregnant and showing a scan, but she forgot to realise the date, etc on the top part which showed it was five years old. She did that twice. I didn't say anything but if it was my scan she used, sorry but I would go apeshit if it was somehow a genuine mistake. Not sure how you can mix up your own scan for someone else's

FloydWasACat · 15/11/2020 04:14

if it wasn't

FloydWasACat · 15/11/2020 04:15

it wasn't my scan she used sorry, very tired and confused tonight!

lovelemoncurd · 15/11/2020 04:32

Surely other people will be putting two and two together if the scan pic is that memorable.

Perhaps she wanted the same reaction and found her scan pic boring.

CottonSock · 15/11/2020 07:21

I'd assumed it was a generic looking 12 week scan. I wouldn't say anything if my details were not on there though.

LilacPebbles · 15/11/2020 07:38

Of course you should tell her. Why would it be embarrassing? It would be embarrassing if you commented on the pic publicly. Just message her privately. She'll be way more upset if you just say nothing and let this carry on as it's likely other people have noticed and someone further down the line will pull her up on it.
I have no idea how it's passed her by. If it's a funny scan, she'll have noticed at the time she had it and had people reacting to it. Maybe she didn't really look at it? Maybe she didn't notice her details have gone missing from the top? Very, very strange. Is she ok?
Whatever the reason is, there's no way I couldn't say anything. It's not hers. I'm surprised at the number of people who would just shrug and not think to mention it!

Cloud21 · 15/11/2020 07:38

Wondering if her phone has put them both into one album labelled ‘Scan’ or something and she’s simply clicked on it and uploaded without realising, going on OP’s update.

Would your friend be the type if person to openly talk about a condition the unborn baby has? Wondering if Downs and the amount of fluid in that area may be an issue here.

bobbiester · 15/11/2020 07:44

@FAQs

Sounds like a plot from a Channel5 afternoon film.
Absolutely! With a cheesy title like "In it for Kicks" or "Lies Don't Scan"
RattleOfBars · 15/11/2020 07:51

Just realised you’ve been friends for 15 years! In that case I think she did it by accident and would be mortified if you brought it up! She may have already realised the mistake but can’t take the post down if lots of people have liked and commented.

Her phone may have grouped all scan pictures together eg ‘20 week scan’ (hers and yours and anyone else’s scan pix on her phone, eg WhatsApp will send pix straight to google photos which groups and organises them for you, even if you don’t ask it to!)

She probably just picked the cutest without checking the date, or her phone suggested it and she forgot it was yours! Maybe she was very tired when she posted it.

I think I’d say nothing. Once baby’s here, if she prints the pic for her wall you could lightly say ‘oh that look at the similar positions they’re in’ and show her your photo (but do it 1:1 and let her make the connection)!

WhoseThatGirl · 15/11/2020 07:55

If it was an accident she may well have already realised and just thought it’s a bit embarrassing to change it now.
I wouldn’t bother saying anything and claim you didn’t notice if it ever comes to light.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 15/11/2020 08:05

I've always suspected that these Ultrasound Scan machines have a library of about 100 different images and it just spits one out at random - if you have paid some money.

They should offer to take a picture / video of the screen with your phone. (maybe they do!)

InescapableDeath · 15/11/2020 08:15

I’d let her know. After a day or two of her post no one will notice if the accompanying pic is deleted, but it will be really sad if she gets a memories reminder in a year and reposts pics of the wrong baby!

LilacPebbles · 15/11/2020 08:20

I can't believe there's a conspiracy theory that the NHS charges women for fake pictures of their scans 😂
You can see on the screen the images where the sonographer freezes them before they are sent to the printer, can make out the sex of the baby, oh and your medical and personal details are at the top of each scan.

WhySoSensitive · 15/11/2020 08:33

I would comment on the picture saying ‘oh his this looks so like my scan! Amazing what positions they get into’ blah blah blah
It might prompt her to re-look at it.

Maybe in her photo album she genuinely thinks it’s hers.
I wouldn’t be able to pick mine out of a lineup but that mostly because it’s shocking, we never got the lovely clear picture the whole pregnancy!

TheNoodlesIncident · 15/11/2020 08:48

I can't speak for other people, but when I was at my anomoly scans I watched the radiographer moving the instrument around across my bump and we could both see the resultant image on the screen. The radiographer checked all was as it should be and asked if I wanted some photos, then guided the wotsit thing around and said things like "Oh, that's nice, he's sucking his thumb now, look" and took a photo. The remainder of the procedure went in a similar fashion, and the photos I have now are very much images from that scan. (Mine was a 3D scan so the images are particularly nice and not bog-standard could-be-anyone pictures.) You don't seem to realise that it's not like the radiographer just hands you an envelope of pictures, you actually see them happen live.

I would think she's just grabbed a pic to post and has since realised her mistake - she must have, your pic is so distinctive - and is hoping nobody notices. Scan pics are quickly superceded by newborn pics anyway, aren't they...

Weirdwonders · 15/11/2020 08:50

I don’t understand why people are saying it doesn’t matter? She’s posted a pic of your unborn baby (and your insides) on Facebook without your consent and now people are commenting on that picture. I think that’s quite a big mistake to make tbh so I’d be inclined to tell her. Her feelings don’t trump yours. I don’t know how you could make that mistake, but then I don’t know how she thought she’d get away with using yours if she was just after the Facebook likes either, unless she was counting on you being too polite to point it out.

Rosebel · 15/11/2020 08:51

I'm amazed you know it's your scan. I have scans of my 3 children and I have to check the date to see which is which. They all look the same to me.
If there's no name or date how can you be so sure? You've known her for 15 years, is it the sort of thing she'd do deliberately? Personally I wouldn't say anything.

OwlOne · 15/11/2020 08:56

I know my DC are teenagers but I cannot believe that anybody who hadn't examined a scan picture themselves in the last few months would be able to tell the difference.

If OP posted ''oh that looks like mine!'' unless ALL of her friends on fb are new mums, they'll think 'well, of course it looks like your scan photo they all look the same''.

DO NOTHING DO NOTHING DO NOTHING SAY NOTHING