Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell friend she's accidentally used my baby scan photo?

367 replies

LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 18:54

My baby was born last month and one of my friends is currently pregnant. During my pregnancy, I shared some pictures of my scan photos with her.

A few days ago, she posted a photo of a scan picture on social media. I recognised the scan picture immediately as one of mine. I even dug out the actual scan photo to double check - it is definitely mine that she's used.

She has clearly meant to post a picture of one of her own scan photos, but has accidentally posted one of mine and she hasn't realised what she's done.

I didn't see the social media post when she initially posted it a few days ago. I only saw it for the first time today. Already, tons of people have liked the picture and have made comments, which she has replied to.

I think, if I'd have seen her social media post when she initially posted it, I would have let her know.. but a few days have gone by now and I don't know what to do.

Should I let my friend know she's accidentally used an image of my scan photo? Or, should I keep quiet and just let her enjoy the moment as it's not doing anyone any harm?

YABU - Yes, it would be unreasonable to tell her.
YANBU - No, it would not be unreasonable to tell her.

OP posts:
Kudostoyou · 14/11/2020 22:25

Maybe she didn’t actually get a print out scan picture at this scan, it sounds like it was an extra scan but just the usual 12/20 week one, but she still wanted to post about it on SM so she used your scan picture as she didn’t have one to go with her “update”? Confused

gingerwhinger0 · 14/11/2020 22:28

If she wanted to fake a pregnancy and I am sure she could have found an alternative image easily enough from another less obvious source. Unless of course on top of faking a pregnancy she also thought she'd play mind games with the op, which seems like a bit of a reach. I'm sure its just made a mistake.
I would just message her privately, not a big deal unless you make it into one.

ProudAuntie76 · 14/11/2020 22:32

@SD1978

There's no way she's done it by accident. So yea- I'd be identifying it to her because it's strange. She would have had to scroll back through your Facebook, snapshot the photo, and post it. If she's juts taken a photo of her scan, she wouldn't be scrolling back months to post it. I think you find it strange, Regardless if the attempts to justify it, and I wouldn't believe she was pregnant. I would also report the photo to Facebook if it's not removed.
OP has said she sent it to her phone! There was no need for her to mess around with FB

I’m undecided. I can see how it could happen given how close the pregnancies and with WhatsApp automatically updating photos on a phone...from that POV it’s easy to see how a mistake could happen.

However...you know what your scans look like. This one of Ops sounds mega distinctive. As a mother you study every part of a scan. Surely she’d realise this one isn’t of her child. It is weird.

I’d message her privately and say how you can see how easily a mix up might happen but does she realise she’s posted your scan picture, not hers? Yours sounds like more of a talking point than hers...there’s a chance it’s deliberate. Or a chance it’s a mistake. I’d find it hard to totally ignore though.

Miip · 14/11/2020 22:35

I would tell her.

OwlOne · 14/11/2020 22:37

Maybe her own scan photo didn't come out well.

If she did this it'll have been because she thought nobody would notice so don't embarrass her! What is the point of telling her you know it's your scan photo?

BoyTree · 14/11/2020 22:38

I don't think I spent more than a couple of minutes looking at my scan photos and certainly wouldn't have recognised them then or now. If the friend is similar, then it's not inconceivable that she didn't realise that it wasn't hers, particularly if she was scrolling through thumbnails from months ago and just spotted a scan pic and clicked, assuming it must be her own.

I'd assume that it was a genuine mistake but would probably pretend I hadn't seen it in your shoes!

Isabelletriesagain · 14/11/2020 22:39

I would tell her, in case it was a genuine mistake

mathanxiety · 14/11/2020 22:39

How did she manage that? Surely the ones you shared with her must have been way back in her image gallery

I accidentally posted photos my Dsis sent me via WhatsApp on Insta after clicking the + button. All the photos that are on my phone regardless of origin came up and since I had taken similar photos (autumn trees) in the last month I thought they were mine.

I would message the mum, but unless there is clearly an indication of a different sex this is a case of no harm no foul.

MrsFezziwig · 14/11/2020 22:40

If it’s a funny pic maybe the hospital give it to more than one mum so they’ll have a nice scan pic of ‘their’ baby? I’m hoping not but is that possible?

You seriously think that hospitals just hand out random photos of other people’s babies? Obviously that wouldn’t breach any confidentiality regulations!
Just when I think Mumsnet can’t get any more batshit ....

BoyTree · 14/11/2020 22:41

As a mother you study every part of a scan. Surely she’d realise this one isn’t of her child.

I'm a mother! I didn't and wouldn't! I didn't even realise anyone did or would! I can totally recognise them now though...Blush Grin

user1481840227 · 14/11/2020 22:42

@OwlOne

Maybe her own scan photo didn't come out well.

If she did this it'll have been because she thought nobody would notice so don't embarrass her! What is the point of telling her you know it's your scan photo?

Who would post a photo of someone elses baby scan because their own didn't come out well? That's just weird.

I think the point of telling her is that she could be looking at that every day and enjoying the photo thinking its her own baby scan and look back at every year after the baby is born as a fond memory and it's not even her own scan Confused so she'd be better off knowing the mistake.

I mean some people are sentimental and keep a lock of hair from their babies first haircut or first bib or whatever, the point is that you keep your own babies stuff, not someone elses!

user1468538201 · 14/11/2020 22:46

Sounds like your scan was amusing and she wanted the reactions it would gather on social media. I feel sorry for her if that's the case, so many are obsessed with how many likes etc they can get.

Original poster
LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 22:51

Thank you to everyone who has posted constructive advice. I appreciate it.

This thread seems to have generated some odd responses. I feel I want to clarify some points..

  1. My friend is DEFINITELY 100% pregnant. She is around 30 weeks now. I have seen and felt her pregnancy tum. I have felt her baby kick. I have seen her scan photos with her name etc on the top.
  1. I cropped out my personal details on my scan photos before I shared with friends and on social media (I've explained why in a previous update post).
  1. The scan photo she used is 100% mine. I am 100% certain. As mentioned in a previous update.. baby is in such a comical position, it makes the photo very distinctive and not like the usual generic scan photos that always look the same. This is how I was immediately able to spot that the photo was mine.
  1. I've known my friend for the best part of 15 years. She would not have intentionally used my scan photo. She's done this accidentally. I'm not sure how she hasn't noticed, because, as I've said, the photo is very distinctive.
  1. Her post was not a pregnancy announcement. She was simply posting that she can't wait to meet her baby.
She had not been to another scan to prompt her to make her post. I believe she was attempting to post a photo from her 20 week scan but accidentally scrolled a bit too far back in her camera roll and used my photo by mistake.
  1. Personally, I'm not overly bothered. No harm is being done really. I'm sure no one else will even notice.
HOWEVER.. the reason I made this post was because I wanted to do the right thing by my friend. I genuinely am not sure if it's best to let her know or to just keep quiet and let her enjoy the moment. On one hand, I think it's best not to say anything as I wouldn't want to cause any upset or embarrassment. On the other hand.. maybe it's best to say something. What if she goes on to print the image and frame it or she sticks it in her baby record book. I'd feel bad that she wasn't doing this using an image of her own baby.

Just trying to be a good friend here.

OP posts:
AliceMck · 14/11/2020 22:55

@BoobsOnTheMoon

How did she manage that? Surely the ones you shared with her must have been way back in her image gallery Confused

Are you sure she is pregnant?

This!
longwigglylines · 14/11/2020 23:00

I would let her know. I've lost my scan photos and the only record I have of them is the online copies.

It'd be awful if it turned out they weren't actually mine but a friend's!

longwigglylines · 14/11/2020 23:00

... but if the friend told me than I could have uploaded the real one.

JanewaysBun · 14/11/2020 23:00

I actually almost did this with the wrong baby!
When someone whatsapp messages me the photos go into my roll. I was scrolling through to post one on fb, if you do a big thing swipe you can inadvertently go quite far. I saw a cute pic with a cute suit on, all ready to post and I start wondering - what happened to that suit? I don't know where it is.... I take a closer look and it's not my kid!

Kimblebee19 · 14/11/2020 23:01

I think for the reasons you've yourself outlined in point #6, you should gently let her know in a private message. If she realises herself further down the road it will only be worse, and it could be upsetting for her if she's used it in baby books / frames / sent on to relatives etc. as you've said. Assuming - as you feel - that this is a genuine mistake, this would be the kindest thing in my view - a little embarrassment now to save a potential for much more embarassment or upset down the line.

PepsiLola · 14/11/2020 23:02

I think I would let her know.... you don't want it to pop up on memories or be said in a few years time and she goes "why didn't you tell me".

I'm sure she'd rather have her own child's pik on her socials

ProudAuntie76 · 14/11/2020 23:05

In that case OP, just tell her.

“hi friend, I wasn’t going to say anything but I’m worried you find out later and get upset but the picture you have posted on FB is actually one I sent you of my ds’s scans. I know it’s a genuine error but I’d hate for you to end up having the wrong pics in record books or give to family etc.”
And send her the pic of your scan without the name cropped out.

Hotchocolatesforeveryone · 14/11/2020 23:07

If i accidentally posted my friends scan instead of mines i would laugh my head off, its a funny mistake to make. If my friend posted mines I would tell her as well as my friends would also find it hilarious. Alot of people seem to think it should just be left alone but its not a big deal and pretty funny

Waveysnail · 14/11/2020 23:08

Its obviously bugging you or you wouldnt be asking mumsnet. Let it go. It really doesnt matter

BuntysTwinkle · 14/11/2020 23:40

The people saying how would you know - I had my babies over 15 years ago and I'd still know their scan photos anywhere. You look at the things for months, how would you not know?

Inkpaperstars · 14/11/2020 23:41

You know your friend, if you think she has made a mistake and will take it badly if you point it out then don't mention it unless you feel the need to. But I can't see why she would, most people would find this funny I think. So I would say something, if I was her I would want to know.

myhobbyisouting · 14/11/2020 23:45

She's scrolled back through her phone to scan pictures for something/anything to put on fbook and not realised it's not even her scan.

The need for "likes" is clearly very overwhelming in this case and matters more than double checking the photograph itself.

I'd tell her

Swipe left for the next trending thread