To leave my perfect MIL to it?

[mamajule]

After a weekend of undermining comments my 6mth daughter failed at her morning nap, probably because my daughter was sick because DH and his mum rammed her with baby porridge when she's just started weaning.

I was then told I didn't have the knack of getting a baby to nap and that "grandma would do it" so now magic grandma is trying but DD is screaming her head off because she wants a little breastfeed before nodding off.

But now because DD is screaming I have been asked to fix it all, but without feeding her to sleep "because that isn't the way".

Honestly feel like saying well if I am so shit at getting her to nap and grandma is so amazing then it would be silly of me to even try. FYI if DD is screaming her head off then grandma can't be that amazing.

AIBU?

My "darling" MIL used to try this stuff. Contradicting her or pushing back just made her dig her heels in harder and mention the incident till kingdom come, so I just used to smile sweetly, grey rock her and do what I wanted anyway. Might work if you don't fancy confrontation.
And I breastfed my DCs to sleep - works like a charm, everyone's happy and it didn't create any problems with sleep or anything later, so you do what you think is best for your baby.

@mamajule

Magic boobies are fixing this as we speak. I was obviously outside the door ready, hard to strike a balance between letting grandma do her thing and being ready to fix it.

There is no balance. Grandma has no "thing" to do. This is your child. You're the mum.

Tell her to back the f up and if your DH isn't in agreement then just take the baby and drive home!

Total madness. Grandma had her babies, now you have yours and it's up to you to parent them. Honestly this would have me seething - you have to nip it in the bud NOW. X

Don’t let her domineer you. She’s being a cheeky cow because she thinks she rules the roost. Your the mum she’s had her time.

@Somethingsnappy

Is she asleep now, OP?

Two lovely naps after all that, both were milk induced. She doesn't always get bf to sleep, she has a nanny who manages naps with out it. So we'll be ok ✅

Well done, OP! Stick to your guns in future and don't be bullied. Your instincts with your own baby trump any outdated advice your mil forces on you. Next time she tries to tell you what to do re bfeeding to sleep (or anything else you disagree with, for that matter), just say....'advice has changed since yours were babies mil, we now know that this is really good for them'. Then proceed to recommend a good book/website to her for her education, if you feel like it .

My dd is almost 6 months old and I always breastfeed her to sleep unless she nods off in the pram or car, I thought you were supposed to demand feed? 🤷‍♀️ My dd is so chilled out she eats and sleeps when she wants and has built her own routine and roughly naps/feeds at the same sort of time of day! We just go with the flow 😂.

Tell your mother in law to bugger off! 😂

I think ‘Thanks for your interest but she’s my child so I’ll decide what’s best for her’ would get the message over.

Your MIL and anyone else for that matter can f off. Never let anyone tell you how to raise your baby.

Babies need to be close to their mums. If feeding to sleep is a comfort so be it. It doesn't do any harm

Does your MIL live with you or was she (hopefully!) just visiting - wondering why you’d had to put up with a whole weekend of comments from her.
Sounds like you need a private word with your DH to get him on your side. Then just sweetly tell MIL that you have your own way of doing things, times have changed. I’m sure it’s hard but you need to be firm with her and not let her take the upper hand. Good luck!

So at the end of all this you have a nanny anyway?

Hardly thread of the century.

Yeah. That’s right use your daughter to make a point.

This is your baby. Do what you need to go take care of her. Tell the MIL to butt out.

Another one! I have an involved MIL that wants to help. OMG get rid of her

I’d say fuck off she isn’t yours and it’s my way. Bye.

Tell Grandma that LO only cries when she’s there

Also tell your DH to grow some balls!

@HotSince63

I would take your DD, put her in her car seat, and drive home, now.

This!!

Breast milk has tryptophan in it. Same stuff that makes you sleepy after Christmas dinner.

It's SUPPOSED to make babies sleepy. I think millions of years of evolution may be a little more reliable than you MIL's reckons.

From personal experience of MIL and GMIL undermining me and taking over I’d say put a stop to this right now! Your baby your choice if you want to feed her to nap you do it. Don’t let anyone tell you you don’t have the nack for caring for your baby.
I wish I’d nipped it in the bud sooner it’s less awkward that way, I left it until DD 1st birthday and it was difficult. Especially for DP.

If she wants to visit regularly maybe explain she can't come due to lockdown. Better still get your DH to do it!

Feed her to sleep, I still feed mine to sleep and he’s just turned two. He sleeps well and rarely wakes up. Makes your life easier and your baby happy. Oh, and don’t worry about the weaning. Don’t let them ram her with porridge. My motto after hearing it from a health visitor is food is fun before one. Every child is so different and both mine have been happy to have some food by 9 months but I learned not to force it.

Whenever MIL suggests you change your approach, say "

Sorry, fat fingers strike again!

Whenever MIL suggests you change your approach, say "That's how we do it here MIL".

And repeat ad infinitum.

I have an amazing MIL but she always had something to say as she knew everything untill I told her in a nice manner that I want to raise my children in my own way, she did it for her own children, if she had an advice i will happily take but not more. No more argues since then.
Oh and don't feel guilty about breastfeeding her to sleep, it is happening only once in a whole life to be a baby so make the most of it, it has so many benefits you as much as for your little treasure.

Your mil is an arse.
So are the posters who come on here to boast how chilled their children are. Mumsnet at its finest.

Say mummy knows best when talking to your baby and then leave. Talk to your partner and limit contact with mother in law. Make up excuses like you have appointments. She will get the hint.