To think "who the fuck do you think you are?"

[CrotchBurn]

Okay I need to rant its friday and I have done 3 x 10 hour days back to back, I need wine and to release my anger

FYI this isnt for when its friends or family.

It's about people calling you: banks, clients or colleagues, insurance wanting to check something, whatever.

Its 2020. I'm sorry if you dont like it, but when you call me, you are intruding. We have WhatsApp, we have email. I get instant notifications on my phone. When you call me, you drag me out of whatever I'm doing (working usually) to demand my attention.

If it's about my bank account then guess what? Use your fucking fancy messaging system on the platform I'm assuming that's what it's there for and that way you will have a record.

If it's about work, guess what? I'm fucking working right now. On something that doesnt have to do with you. So send me an email and wait your turn. It's not all about you. And again: I would prefer to have what you say in writing.

Ooh and by the way you know voice messages? Yeah I dont listen to those. So you chat away but just FYI I listen to my voice messages except I dont, I just dial in and then hit 3 or whatever it is repeatedly until they are all deleted.

So dont waste my fucking time and stop jostling into my personal space. Seeing the missed call icon on my phone puts me on edge. If you are bored during lock down and need a human voice then I suggest you call a relative or friend. I AM BUSY. Oh and also: please dont email saying "would it be possible to arrange a call to discuss?". It wouldnt actually, see above.

Am I abnormal to hate this this much??

@Warpdrive
🤔 Personally I reply to emails instantly...

Change landline & mobile numbers, & only give them to people you want to talk to.
If that's not feasible, disable voicemail & buy a call-blocker for the landline.

I agree OP, I never listen to voicemails either and never pick up the phone to a number I don't recognise, I just assume it's a sales call. People are busy enough without unnecessary phonecalls.

I feel like you really needed to vent and I was happy to listen. We all have fuck-you-all days OP, I get it. Life is so busy, technology has only increased everyone’s workload and the benefits of easy communication is often outweighed by the constant intrusion into our private spaces.

Sometimes it all just gets too much. Switch off. It’s the weekend. I hope you feel better by Monday because that’s just working life for everyone nowadays and you can’t avoid it!

I think the OP totally gets that she's BU. I get that I'm BU. This isn't intended as an actual manifesto. Anyone who works in a white collar industry has to deal with this all the time. It is what it is.

But there's a particular syndrome in client-facing businesses like mine where clients behave as if you only work for them and it seems to have got worse due to COVID. I work for a company which has multiple clients and I work on about 8 client accounts, several of which I lead. It involves a huge amount of juggling and time management. They all know in theory that they only get a certain amount of your time but they still all persist in behaving as if you should be working for them exclusively and pushing into other people's time.

So you'll have an hour-long call with one client and make your excuses saying you have to finish at x time a polite way but clear way of indicating that that is the current allocation and with the implication that you will pick work up again after you've dealt with the needs of other clients and then you will get an immediate follow-up from the client you've just spoken to.

That's the nature of the beast but it makes me feel incredibly resentful of the assumption that your time essentially belongs to someone else all the time. It's mainly just that they are pressured and have their own concerns but it feels like a power trip.

It has left me feeling very drained and resentful of the constant and competing time demands. The job is the job. But when people are then insensitive or lacking in thought about it (ie phoning late at night to shoot the breeze about something unimportant when it could have been done in an email), it does make me angry.

@TheNewLook
Nicest message on here 💐

@grassisjeweled

Yeah, someone emailed me the other day saying 'you're on Do Not Disturb, so I emailed you'

Mind? Boggled. Again.

Why wouldn’t they - eg if someone wants to message to ask if a meeting g time can be pushed back by 30 minutes and you’ve gone all VIP DND, what else are they supposed to do?

But what about the fact that it’s quicker to speak than type?

I’ve often had email exchanges at work where after two or three emails which have left things not quite clear, one of us picks up the phone as it’s going to be a whole lot quicker to just talk it through and make sure nothing has been misunderstood.

Set your answer machine to say “who the fuck do you think you are, don’t leave a message I won’t listen to it or reply, I’m too busy/stressed/important.”

Why have you not just turned answer phone off?

Um - why do you have a phone? It's perfectly normal for people to use a phone to contact others, you are being ridiculous. If work is calling then you are being unprofessional. Some people actually prefer to talk to another person, it's certainly easier to get answers that way. There is only one word to describe you tbh - rude.

Woah, you need a chill pill and a bottle of wine!

I have to laugh at this thread. Some of the comments suggesting OP is about to burst a vein sound a lot angrier than her original post. They give every impression of very angry writer themselves, but one who but thinks they'll use this opportunity to give a grand, queenly rebuke to the OP into the bargain. Hilarious!

The suggestion that 'phones are for ringing' is a very reductive; today's smart phones are multi media tools. And I sympathise with OP. I dislike intrusiveness when I'm concentrating or going about my daily business, hence I look through chuggers/people who approach me in the street as though they're not there. Rude? Yes. And tough: it's rude to invade others' personal space in the first place. I don't get very much of it and I jealously guard what I have.

Same goes for intrusive phone calls. Banks, insurance checks, and especially cold-calling/selling can get in the bin. I don't pick up unless I can see the number who is calling: withheld numbers go unanswered unless I'm expecting a call from the NHS. Some calls are necessary and a productive use of time when finer details are easier thrashed out verbally than trying to hammer them out in text. Most, if they can easily be dealt with by text, email or social media, are not.

But this:

My voicemail actually says, please text or email, these voice messages are not checked

is a bloody great idea.

Enjoy that wine! As it's Friday night I think I may join you

I'm a bit similar. As I'm on the phone or constantly talking to my team at work by the time I'm home I just want some peace!
I don't answer any calls that I havent got saved in my phone and Ive also disabled my voicemail so no one can leave me a message. If you want me, write to me - text, messenger, WhatsApp, email or a good old fashioned letter!

I 1000% agree.

I get you op!!!! But I take it as a way for them to leave a voice mail and I contact them at a more suitable time.

What's crawled up everyone's ass tonight?

OP you sound brilliant and you made me laugh. I read your post as a lighthearted rant and I dunno why everyone's being so serious. I agree , talking on the phone is awful! I'd always much rather email or text.

Cheers

How about just putting it on silent? My voicemail message says don't leave a message, send me a text. You can make life easier for yourself by pressing the right buttons

YANBU for not wanting to use the phone (I am autistic and don't). But YABU for leaving your voicemail on if you are just going to delete the messages.

Displacement anger? Does that mean "projecting"?

I use it to mean getting angry about something that is easier to deal with because the real problem is too big to deal with or face at the time.

So I might be really stressed at work because my manager is asking too much of me or because I am worried I can't do all of the work I need to in the time given but I don't feel able to deal with it and my manager is a pain so I just try and ignore it or carry on hoping the issue will resolve itself. Eventually though, if it continues, something small happens, like a colleague asks me to do something that is a normal request and I get annoyed with them because the request is the straw that breaks the camel's back.

I don't believe the level of anger in your thread heading is appropriate for what you are complaining about unless there is more going on and there is something else that is making you react so badly to phone calls, afterall unwanted phone calls are reasonably easy to avoid on modern phones.

A bit of irritation, I can understand , even more than irritation but being driven to post on here about it with a title that is so full of outraged indignation seems out of all proportion to me. What would you post if someone did something truly outrageous to you?

I remember Stephen Fry making a similar point about how phoning someone is actually quite intrusive. When the phone rings, it’s the technological equivalent of someone continually jabbing you on your arm going “hey, stop what you’re doing and talk to me now” over and over until you answer because the ringing is far too annoying to listen to.

@thepeopleversuswork
Are you me? "clients behave as if you only work for them and it seems to have got worse due to COVID."

This. One hundred times this.

I have a £400 a month contract with you. As you can probably imagine, I have multiple such contracts with other companies in order to be able to make a living. I create what you need me to create, flawlessly, and have done for years. I cannot create that, and create for other clients, with you consistently breathing down my fucking neck with pointless as shit phone calls that eat into actual production time.

This is going to be unpopular because the majority of people I think are in these roles but:

In my industry the problem isnt the end client. The problem are the armies of intermediaries, agencies, people essentially between you, the producer of something and the end client, the consumer of something, who are yes, fulfilling a role but also creaming off the top and needing to fill their days by justifying that cream with (I assume) a fuck load of reports, stats, check ins, brainstormings, and other time consuming and ultimately empty "processes" that provide them with a job. That's fine, but: do that by email please.

@CatNoBag

I hate any and all phone calls, my phone ringing makes me jittery for about an hour, but if the bank wants to check if someone is fraudulently using my account, then I'd rather they tried to get hold of me asap than wait until I check a message in their app.

Seriously - you’re jittery for an hour of the phone rings? Is it the same if the door bell goes?

What’s more annoying is when it’s a scam call/email! Either the HMRC one saying it’s time sensitive etc... in an American accent or ‘were calling about the accident you had....’

Absolute bad heads. I’ve seen me go along with it and tell them my name is Micky mouse, I live at Privet Drive and my account number is 12345678 they soon get annoyed when they realise they’re being played and having their time wasted!

I just listened to the first voice mail on my list which was from my bank saying she had seen I have requested my other bank transfer my savings over to them and wondering if we could talk. NO!!!!! I dont want to have a conversation about why I am changing banks!!!!! Your fees are too high, YOU are too unavailable and you have also sold me shit loads of products I dont need (that's on me for accepting, I get that), and now I am LEAVING YOU. Please do not try and call me!

I think some people just need to manage their marketing and contact preferences better!

@Blibbyblobby

missing point of the thread...

My voicemail app transcribes the first few sentences of the message. It's not perfect but it's good enough to decide whether I want to listen to the message now, later, or just delete it.

Actually- very much on point! Which app, if I may ask?