So fed up with my life

[onandon8]

I live in London and am just so fed up with the people, the busyness, the noise, the pollution and the cost of everything, particularly housing. It’s really getting me down.

I want to sell up and buy a cottage by the sea in Devon or Cornwall, but DH will only consider counties close to London as there are always employment opportunities here.

I know what he’s saying but I don’t want to carry on with the rat race for the rest of our lives, living in an average area with a massive mortgage to pay each month.

I also read threads on here saying London schools are the best, and wonder in which part of London these posters live? Primaries near us are good/outstanding but the secondaries are dire - I can’t consign my DC to a life of that.

I would love to send them private but we don’t have anywhere near that kind of money. All the local private schools offer bursaries, but surely they must be inundated with applicants - does anyone know how easy it is to get one?

AIBU to want to leave London behind and have a different, simpler life in a small seaside town, with a mortgage of about £400-£500 per month?

Cornwall is full

Now I've heard it all.

No, Cornwall really isn't full, OP. Neither is it populated entirely by unwelcoming natives.

I’m baffled as to why so many people are saying OP’s DH needs to stay near London when he’s a freelance designer?!
There’s absolutely no need at all! In fact he has one of the most suitable jobs to live anywhere in the world!
Yes he may need to spend a few days in London or another city. Attend an event, meetings etc.
But the joy of freelance creativity industry is anywhere and across and industry surely?!!

Namechangedforthisoct2

Because that’s what the clients want. It all sounds great until a potential client says, “Can you meet me for a coffee tomorrow?”

I think if you want this lifestyle change you need to be able to fund it yourself with your own income. Its your dream - you make it happen.

Would your DH consider somewhere a bit further afield now WFH is the norm so he might only have to go in 1-3 days a week? I understand that he is a contractor though so it might be tough, but you could consider somewhere up to 90 minutes away I would think on the likelihood he wouldn't have to do it daily.

We were in the same boat until very very recently, when I finally persuaded DH to move. There are some lovely areas within commuting distance of London that you can get a lot more for your money and still feel like the proper countryside - we didn't look at Kent but really liked Berkhamsted and the Chilterns, you can even get to the Cotswolds in an hour to 1h15 from Paddington around Hanborough, Charlbury and Kemble. Plus some parts of Essex are by the sea/estuary and commutable. I'd work on persuading him to move to the outer commuter distance rather than focus on shelving it all entirely and moving to Cornwall - it probably wouldn't make much difference to your life if you are in Cornwall or the Chilterns and your earning potential is much higher which if one of you is a SAHP is especially important.

Bigfootmama You are living my dream.

OP I'm in a similar position to you. I absolutely hate it. City living was good pre kids but it isn't somewhere I want my kids to call home. Its dirty, everyone is running around, its no life. I absolutely detest seeing nothing but houses and dream of nature, space and the sea.

Can anyone give more insight into what the schools are like in Devon and Cornwall? I’m so worried about the DC getting mixed up in gangs in London.

DH’s clients are all happy to meet via Zoom, but he’s worried that could change after the pandemic is over.

private messaged OP

I think if you want this lifestyle change you need to be able to fund it yourself with your own income. Its your dream - you make it happen

The family income IS her income. Or are you suggesting she moves without her family.

When the potential client wants to see you tomorrow for a coffee, you go! Or I did. Travel was one of the biggest overheads, even if there was a suitable off-peak service. But there are fewer cheap tickets now.

Plymouth is a good compromise.

Haven't rtft but I live near the Essex coast, and my village on the river is 1h15 from London - I did the commute for a couple of years. I have five beaches within a 15-30 min drive!

@SoddingWeddings

I grew up in Cornwall, moved away to Hampshire for university and worked there for 15+yrs before moving back to Cornwall.

It is not the panacea that people think it is. We're an incredibly impoverished county. Fuck all jobs unless you like seasonal work. Careers are heavily limited by location. Appalling public transport options - you really do need to drive in most areas.

Schools are as hit and miss as London ones. We have significant pollution problems in many areas. It's not a multi-cultural society. Your children will grow up here, then likely have to leave for an education or work - it's not a great place for teenagers unless they are happy with a long term low income and no chance of buying their own property. They might be luckier though.

Changing postcode doesn't change your life. Few people go to the beach every day, and only the privileged wealthy ex-Londoners can afford sea views in most places. And yes, the locals resent that.

Coming here for holidays is one thing. Living here through the winter, without work, without career prospects, is quite another. Be realistic.

This is the best and fairest synopsis of Cornwall I have ever read on MN.

OFSTED reports are your best bet for up to date information, OP. Primary education is usually fine, but secondary is a very mixed bag.

My db is a freelancer in media and like you they got fed up with the constant noise and rush in London. They have moved to Hastings Old Town and are incredibly happy. For the price of their 1 bed ex council flat they bought a 4 bed with sea views!

Db sometimes has to work in London so tends to rent Airbnb for the time he is there to save travelling but works from home a lot as he now has the space for a home studio.

They also found that lots of media/creative people have all moved there over the last few years for the same reason...

We have significant pollution problems in many areas.

Changing postcode doesn't change your life.

There may be some pollution in Cornwall, but it can’t possibly be on the level of London. And I disagree that changing postcode doesn’t change your life. Where you live has a huge impact on the rest of your life.

@LetsSplashMummy

You need to compromise, find a city with job opportunities which is near the sea. Norwich, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Swansea...

Then you could live in a coastal village or town but only be 30 mins or so from a city centre. Not all cities are the same scale as London.

Cardiff has some commutable seaside towns. Penarth, Barry, Porthcawl, Llantwit Major.

Come to Edinburgh OP! It’s a beautiful city and its close to the sea. ThE beautiful countryside around East Lothian is on your doorstep and there are loads of options property wise, depending on how much you have to spend. There are excellent state schools if you choose your area carefully and many private school options if you choose to go that direction.

It might be worth a look in terms of your DH’s career opportunities and London is just a short flight away if he needs to visit clients located down there.

Just a thought...

Glasgow is also a lovely city, bigger and quite a different feel, but still very nice and has some lovely peaceful suburbs too if you want more peace.

Plymouth could be an option but it doesn’t seem to have a very good reputation!

Places like North Berwick and Gullane are also worth a look and I’m pretty sure the state schools are good there. Quite commutable into Edinburgh too and not far from the airport.

Have I sold Scotland to you yet?

@DimidDavilby

Cornwall is full. Please consider staying where you are from/returning to your hometown.

Best thing I’ve read all day 😂😂

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/56832187?search_identifier=23f2f32019f788259720f0de6a645aa9

This kind of thing is in your budget. Eastbourne is a nice, up and coming town with lots going on, nearish to London and Brighton for work and countryside and seaside.

I would try and find a compromise OP. Nicer bits of the Kent and Essex coastline are doable to London. The most important thing when you move is to go into a community that you identify with. People are only really happy if they join a community they gel with. House prices etc all secondary. Folkestone and Canterbury/Whitstable are quite arty. You need to make sure you avoid deprived coastal areas in Kent/Essex and go for the young vibrant and up and coming ones.

It looks like a compromise is needed. Not being able to move to your coastal dream area doesn’t mean you can’t live somewhere quieter, more scenic and less polluted. What about Maldon in Essex? It’s within reach of London but has a lovely feel to it and as it’s on an Estuary is rich in wildlife. It’s not cheap but I think you could find something at the upper end of your budget. If not there there are some lovely towns in Essex (it’s not all The Only Way Is Essex by any means). Maybe keep your dream as a long term goal and look for somewhere that meets more of your needs than London in the short to mid term.

Musicdilemma our posts crossed and are nearly identical!

I live in one of the areas you mentioned. DH and I both work in professional jobs (he's employed full time, I'm self employed).

Yes we could earn more money in London, but the cost of living would go up too. (FWIW we tried it, and hated it).

Instead with have a mortgage of £600 a month and live in a four bed Victorian house five minutes from the beach. And we have time...so much more time.