So fed up with my life

[onandon8]

I live in London and am just so fed up with the people, the busyness, the noise, the pollution and the cost of everything, particularly housing. It’s really getting me down.

I want to sell up and buy a cottage by the sea in Devon or Cornwall, but DH will only consider counties close to London as there are always employment opportunities here.

I know what he’s saying but I don’t want to carry on with the rat race for the rest of our lives, living in an average area with a massive mortgage to pay each month.

I also read threads on here saying London schools are the best, and wonder in which part of London these posters live? Primaries near us are good/outstanding but the secondaries are dire - I can’t consign my DC to a life of that.

I would love to send them private but we don’t have anywhere near that kind of money. All the local private schools offer bursaries, but surely they must be inundated with applicants - does anyone know how easy it is to get one?

AIBU to want to leave London behind and have a different, simpler life in a small seaside town, with a mortgage of about £400-£500 per month?

*None of which is to say there's anything remotely wrong with jobs in cafes, factories etc, just that the approach is incompatible with the level of living that OP is lusting after.

Where has the OP mentioned high living standards that she is lusting after? Surely if she is working and so is her DH they can achieve most of what she is after particularly if.they were to.sell their London home.

Sorry wrong thread

@onandon8

I’m leaving this thread now as it’s going round in circles and I’ve a lot to be getting on with. Thanks to all the posters who have made such great suggestions - I’m feeling much more positive about my future

*Our future

Given that this is surely also about DC secondary schools and all the other priorities you mentioned...

Good luck..

mummy she doesn't have to work to move!

Hmmm. Interesting the OP is leaving the thread when challenged directly about how exactly this ‘dream’ is going to be funded and the blunt realities of of a post covid economic era.

Another completely oblivious human absorbed wholly in their own needs. So long as hubby goes out and earns the bacon (who cares what his commute/ quality of life is), this person wants their ‘dream.’

@sassbott what is your problem? I’ve said multiple times on the thread that I’m keen to work to supplement our income, but you appear to be wilfully ignoring that bit. You seem very angry and bitter at the prospect of someone you don’t even know attempting to follow their dream. Says a lot about you!

Where has the OP mentioned high living standards that she is lusting after?

Thank you @MummyShah369 - I’m not after high living standards at all, just an average sized terrace with some outdoor space. And from what I’ve seen on Rightmove, it’s very achievable!

I had a good discussion with DH last night and he said that if I can get work then he will consider it. Feeling very positive now that we can make this a reality and excited to be getting back into the workplace. Perhaps I’ll retrain and/or even set up my own business!

Nope. Pure projection on your part.
I’m not remotely bitter. But I do think you’re incredibly self involved about what will make ‘you’ happy.

1. what exactly is your plan for your DH who does need to WOHM. And I imagine a lot of his work will not by the seaside. Is it acceptable to you that his commute is longer? Or that it may involve him needing to stay away from his family? You have not once answered those questions I have posed. There are two adults in this situation, not just you.
2. you are evasive when I press you On what it is you will do for work if you press on with this move. That is either intentional on your part, or you’re living in Cloud cuckoo land if you think you can just move somewhere and spin up a career with no focussed skill sets.

That’s my point. And personally I’m stunned at the amount of posters skimming over the above points. How do you plan this to work in real world financials for the person who actually earns the money.

Answer that, because this far, it’s easier for you to attack posters like me rather than ask the question. Which tells me plenty about you.

*answer the question

Nope. Pure projection on your part.
I’m not remotely bitter.

I don’t think it is - like I said, you come across as a very bitter and angry person. I can only surmise that you’re very unhappy with your lot but are not willing or able to change it.

As for my DH - he doesn’t need to commute. He’s freelance and works from home. What part of that do you not understand?

Answer that, because this far, it’s easier for you to attack posters like me rather than ask the question. Which tells me plenty about you.

Attack? Hardly. Must be awful being so aggressive, negative and bitter - I feel for you!

@onandon8 you are so rude :( I don’t think Cornwall is the right place for you tbh.

@onandon8 you are so rude sad I don’t think Cornwall is the right place for you tbh.

Nope - I just refuse to be attacked by posters like you and @sassbott. And thankfully you don’t speak for an entire county as far as I’m aware. Enjoy your Jules and Frugi!

My post was deemed an “attack”? Really?

OP, have you ever been to Devon or Cornwall?

Haven't read through fully but I live in Ashford, Kent. I like it here, we have a shopping outlet, fun things like trampolining, bowling, play areas as well as 2 large cinemas. 20 minute drive from the nearest beach as well as a 40 minute high speed train ride from London. Canterbury and Maidstone nearby for further shopping and entertainment too. Got 2 kids age 2 and 8 and we are never bored. You can be central to town or live in a village further out which are beautiful for walks. Handy being close to London and more jobs and I work term time to fit round the kids school holidays!

@onandon8 i used to work in accountng what area of it are you looking to go back to? Also I from a london so can see why someone would be fed up of the rat race will be a shame to lose you tho, wishing you all the best on chasing your dreams for your family!

OP, have you ever been to Devon or Cornwall?

Of course I have - how else would I know that I want to live there? And yes, I’ve been in the winter numerous times as well before anybody asks!

@Butterfly3105 Thanks for asking! I’d like to get some general book-keeping experience, as several jobs I’ve found require that. How easy/hard is that to learn?

@onandon8

OP, have you ever been to Devon or Cornwall?

Of course I have - how else would I know that I want to live there? And yes, I’ve been in the winter numerous times as well before anybody asks!

I've already asked twice how well you knew the places and you hadn't answered, so it did rather look like a question you were avoiding. You have said quite a few other things about what you do and don't want without experience of those things.

How will you feel about your husband potentially working away Monday to Friday? It would make it hard for you to work if he's either away all week, or away on odd days that you can't plan for.

@HRHPP not sure what’s so funny about that statement?

How will you feel about your husband potentially working away Monday to Friday?

It’s highly unlikely he’d have to do that, with the nature of his work.

At the end of the day.....

It all depends on if the op likes jam first.

@onandon8

How will you feel about your husband potentially working away Monday to Friday?

It’s highly unlikely he’d have to do that, with the nature of his work.

Is wfh permanent or more due to pandemic and zoom situation?