So fed up with my life

[onandon8]

I live in London and am just so fed up with the people, the busyness, the noise, the pollution and the cost of everything, particularly housing. It’s really getting me down.

I want to sell up and buy a cottage by the sea in Devon or Cornwall, but DH will only consider counties close to London as there are always employment opportunities here.

I know what he’s saying but I don’t want to carry on with the rat race for the rest of our lives, living in an average area with a massive mortgage to pay each month.

I also read threads on here saying London schools are the best, and wonder in which part of London these posters live? Primaries near us are good/outstanding but the secondaries are dire - I can’t consign my DC to a life of that.

I would love to send them private but we don’t have anywhere near that kind of money. All the local private schools offer bursaries, but surely they must be inundated with applicants - does anyone know how easy it is to get one?

AIBU to want to leave London behind and have a different, simpler life in a small seaside town, with a mortgage of about £400-£500 per month?

um, haven't read the whole thread, but what about Hampshire?

@funkyfruitloops

In fact our friends businesses are moving OUT of Cornwall.

(Creative / digital agencies)

Yes same with friends in Devon. There aren’t enough businesses with big enough budgets in the South West to make a decent living. And outside of pandemic times a lot of networking Leading to contracts happens informally in London.

I just moved back up north after living in London for a year. I was paid the grand total of £2,000 more in London than I was in Manchester for the same job, despite the cost of living being 2x higher. Then when I was made redundant my boss had the gall to say I was on a high wage I'm much happier back up here. Ok London is great in terms of things to do but you don't actually do much when you're working full time anyway, Plus the hours in London are higher, I do 35 hours per week now, flexible, compared to 40 hours strictly 9 to 5 in the City.

All in all I think you would be much happier pretty much anywhere else in the country OP

I haven't read the whole thread (usually I do but this one is too long)
However I see a poster above has mentioned Hampshire and I would second the suggestion.
We moved here a few years ago from London and love it.
We are surrounded by the Downs and only 20 mins or so from the sea.
My husband would love to live in Cornwall but the reality is it's too far if you do ever have a need to commute to London.
It isnt particularly cheap here but it's much more affordable than London and feels relatively rural. If we had a bit more money we'd live in one of beautiful villages round here but I didn't want my daughter as she grows up to have to rely on being ferried around all the time (sorry o mean I didn't want to have to ferry around all the time!) :)

Good luck, I'm sure the right place is out there

Good luck with search OP, I do hope you find somewhere lovely by the sea, wherever that may be.

@funkyfruitloops

I used to live in Bromley *@onandon8* and I was part of the sailing club on the Isle of Dogs (just to tick the watersport box). It was great. I am fully aware of crime in London 😂 who isn’t?

Anyway, You’re clearly not wishing to divulge your knowledge of Cornwall and that’s fine - I was similarly obsessed about moving to Australia a few years ago “for a better life”.

I think I was boring everyone around me with it and my ridiculous plans. Pie in the sky hopes and dreams.

@KnightError no not Fowey Falmouth. But then anyone who lives here will just sigh and nod at that revelation because it’s so standard for the area.

@onandon8 it’s nice to have a dream and well, why not? You go for it if you think it’ll work. And good luck with all your plans x

I did think it would be Falmouth, funky (unfortunately).

Fowey was a bit tongue in cheek, as I'm not sure it's populated by many home-grown teenagers.

@KnightError ooooh definitely didn’t pick up on the tongue in cheekiness!

Gosh @onandon8 I'm so surprised at how your thread had been dominated by naysayers.

I'm sad to see this.

You have a dream. You CAN make it happen. With good planning, a willingness to jump in with both feet, and the knowledge that some things will be harder than you anticipate, or not as good as you hoped. And that some things will surprise you, and be much, much better.

Moving postcode can change you. For better or for worse. It's totally up to you.

We did it. We are different people now than we were. Sometimes it has been hard. But it was our dream. And it was so, so worth it.

Lying in bed listening to the waves 50metres away rather than the sirens on the High Road...

@onandon8 seriously, I know it’s the opposite end of the country, but the beaches and countryside near Newcastle and Northumberland are outstanding, and definitely rival Cornwall.
Great schools, excellent transport system, 20 -30 min to unspoilt countryside and castles. 20 min into the city centre of Newcastle (amazing galleries, restaurants, theatres etc)
You can easily get somewhere lovely for £300k

Country views:
Constable Garth, Hill Top, Earsdon
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-85372202.html

Close to the sea:
Windsor Gardens, Whitley Bay
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-98752931.html

Another next to the sea:
Windsor Gardens, Whitley Bay
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-74513589.html

Next to the sea (I love this one!!)
Countess Avenue, Whitley Bay
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-96475274.html

(I know these are all sold, but just gives an idea of what you could get)

Under 3 hours to London on the train .
I’m from there, now based London (been in London 20 years, and feel exactly the same as you. I’d go back to Newcastle tomorrow if I could. All of my family are there, and there standard of living is amazing).

Tip: do not do your research about moving to Cornwall here on MN. There are Facebook groups that are far more useful, e.g. Cornwall Companions.

I guess there are lots of jobs the IP can start training fit right now that would should be desirable not matter where she ends up. I think there's a national shortage of GPs, science teachers are often short in numbers and nursing/care homes around here continue to advertise vacancies around here which makes them stand out from other employers who are laying off (eg retail, hospitality). So maybe it is possible - but I'd still want to have a plan rather than relying on someone else to pay for my dreams.

Can I ask.... as this hasn't been asked. Are you a multicultural family? I found Dorset and those areas, especially Torquay, very ignorant, racist and not "developed". You will essentially be the only multicultural family in your area. I loved the sea, I loved the surrounding's and the beaches... but the people ...meh... I would never live there.

There's a shortage of carers in Cornwall but that may not be the income you are after.

@onandon8

I’m not so keen on Dorset - I know it’s lovely but Devon and Cornwall are the dream for me and where I feel I belong.

😂😂

Hmmm. Interesting the OP is leaving the thread when challenged directly about how exactly this ‘dream’ is going to be funded and the blunt realities of of a post covid economic era.

Another completely oblivious human absorbed wholly in their own needs. So long as hubby goes out and earns the bacon (who cares what his commute/ quality of life is), this person wants their ‘dream.’

Honestly.

I was going to write a cheesy post about wherever you go, you take yourself with you, but there's no point now.

@onandon8

He’s a freelance designer and I’m currently a SAHM. The problem is his work is contractual - so he might get something for a year and then it’s gone and he has to find another contract. So it’s not very secure and that is why he wants to be near London, “just in case”.

He wants to consider Kent but it’s still very expensive (though not quite London prices). It’s also nowhere near as beautiful as Devon and Cornwall in my opinion.

what about the South East? Yes, expensive compared to other areas but cheaper than London and commutable albeit a long commute. Sussex or Hampshire?

Such a lot of negative nancies on here! If you want to move, make a plan and do it, life is too short to live somewhere you are unhappy. I do think you need to get a job though, big moves are expensive and stressful, and way too scary to do on a single wage. When we tired of London we moved countries to Cork, my husband got work straight away but it took me six months and a large pay cut, as I hadn't realized my type of job was mainly based in Dublin, so you really must make sure you both will be able to work. When we decided to move again (to Australia) we did a lot more research, but to be honest research only takes you so far, any move is a bit of a gamble! Thankfully I find fortune often favours the brave, and now we live in paradise, and yes, we are beside the beach! So good luck with finding a way to make it work, but its going to take a lot more than dreaming on Rightmove.

I was brought up by the sea and still crave it. I only live 30 minutes from the coast now but feel like I could be a million miles from the sea.

I live in a beautiful rural village (which is slowly filling up with Home Counties retirees) but feel that there is nothing quite like the focus the sea gives. As a child we would go to school and then go to the beach afterwards with a picnic. It was blissful. Even on a cold winter's evening we would go and walk along the promenade. Living where I am now I certainly wouldn't go out of an evening as there are no pavements, although very little traffic and no street lighting.

So I completely understand your yearning for coastal living. I always think if it's something you want enough you can make it work.

Somebody upthread mentioned Hurstpierpoint. You won’t get anything for 300k there. It’s one of the most expensive villages. To get into the local school you have to be living close and before your kid starts reception. You will be unlikely to be able to transfer in year as massively over subscribed. No train station. Little public transport. Roads are chronic and the traffic gets bad. Most of the places around brighton/Hove and surrounding villages suffer with traffic problems, especially Ditchling. Look at henfield for more affordable. Schools are only grade 2 but there is good bus connection to Brighton and lack of train station makes it more affordable. If you want good secondary forget Worthing unless you have girls. Chichester is close to west wittering beach which is STUNNING. But cost/schools again are an issue.

Also forget rottingdean/saltdean/peacehaven. Secondary state schools are an issue along that coastline apart from seaford and shoreham which have outstanding secondary. Hassocks/Hurst/Ditchling is best secondary state school in the area but you’re still a drive/train from the beach which isn’t to be taken lightly. Traffic/parking. I’m 20 minutes away and rarely go because it’s a slog to actually get through to the beach and you might as well be living anywhere unless you are easy walk/bus. If you want a coastal life then you need to actually be coastal not a 20 minute drive away

@DimidDavilby what a horrible thing to say. People can live wherever they like. You don't "own" a county

Agree with garlictwist. What an ignorant thing to say.

@didireallysaythat actually my approach will be the other way round - I’ll see what’s available in an area I want to live and adapt accordingly. Living somewhere I want to be (and where my family is also happy of course) is far more important than work!

But isn't this approach part of the problem? Because it's only going to lead to low-paid, unskilled work, which is what's led to your lack of options. It's not about looking at a seaside town and seeing if there's jobs in a cafe or factory or caring company there. It's about training up now for teaching or healthcare or something that's transferrable and stable wherever you move. Or in coding or something that you could definitely WFH remotely in. I think the whole attitude is still a bit too much 'I want my dream but someone else has to make it happen'. You need to be more strategic and make some sacrifices to get the dream. But glad the thread has been helpful and hopefully it'll lead to a more practical, achievable approach.