To ask what’s the most toe curling OTT boast/showing off you’ve heard from a parent about their child?

[Rainbowb]

Just seen a FB post from a mum friend boasting about her 9yo daughter doing online dance and gym sessions via zoom and practising for her 11 plus complete with picture of said child sat at her desk and smiling for the camera. Hope the child gets time to chill out now and then! Mum obviously needs us all to believe her daughter is a high achiever! It was so cringy though and I wondered if anyone else out there was biting their lip at stuff like this?!

My friend was 'told' by her doula that her newborn baby wouldn't feed because she was such a bright child.

This continued throughout primary school, how super intelligent, advanced, talented she was. She could not see that we all adore our own dc and think they're wonderful. It's just that most of us know that is biological bias.

Friend recently admitted child is average in her year 6 class and she's pretty shocked about it. At least she didn't lie I guess! The child is lovely btw, happy, fun, VERY confident!

I’m all for lovely positive fb even if they’re a bit boasting but the one that got me was the parents evening brag “so proud of dd, her teacher told us she’s the loveliest and cleverest dc in the class.”

1. I don’t believe a teacher would say cleverest and 2. My dd was in the class so that’s an insult to my clearly satanic dc. For the sake of keeping the peace I didn’t comment.

I am very proud of my grandchildren, and yes, I do boast about them to friends. I think it's normal for parents to be proud of their children and want others to know about their achievements.
I can't see why this is sneered at. Similarly, it seems as if it's fine to say that you are poor, but not acceptable to say you are comfortably off, or, dare I say it, that you are rich.
If it makes people jealous, which I'm sure it does, then the said people should be looking at their own attitudes.
It's quite hard to be genuinely happy about someone else's achievements, or situation in life when it's better than your own, but maybe we should try.

It’s not that I am jealous just utterly bored - can you not understand that the talents of your offspring are of very limited interest to anyone else?

I've grown very tired of a local family - according to them they are the best at purchasing so they have the best make of car, slow cooker, bell tent. I could handle this but it also extends to parenting and achievements.

I've actually been sent video footage to prove that 5years ago their DD had a better singing voice than the kid who ended up in a west end musical. (Suspect it was, tone it down darling, let the birthday girl shine)
My DD has just had to keep a straight face when it was announced that their daughter will soon be fast tracked to the top PE group (county players, competitive swimmers, regular 10k lockdown runs) because she can now do five pushups with Joe Wicks.
I don't mind the boasting it's the lack of context (praise in terms of improvement or resilience) or generosity to others that has broken my spirit.

That said Dd2s reception teacher ended up in tears when describing the loveliness of dd2. Obviously we agree but concluded on the way home she must have been having a hormonal moment 😁

The people I tell about my grandchildren's achievements are other members of the family, not random acquaintances, and I do expect them to be interested. Some of them are definitely showing poorly concealed jealousy, not boredom.

Last year I taught a friend of mines daughter. It was very interesting seeing what actually happened in the WhatsApp group...I remember her showing me a long and elaborate message from one parent claiming that I'd said her child was gifted, perfectly behaved, all the staff wanted the joy of teaching her etc.

She was actually the worst bold brat we'd had in years I think all the parents knew it too.

Years ago, pre social media, my mums friend had a son two years younger than my brother. The friend would always boast about what her son could do that my brother couldn't do. Eventually my mum started to distance herself from this friend. Years later, this boy was arrested and sentenced to life with minimum of 15 years for a truly horrific crime. I bet his mum is so proud.

I have never understood a parent’s constant need to over-share personal things about thier child on social media. As in first steps, first smile, first shit . Nothing stays personal anymore. I have people on my Facebook who post photos of their kids ASLEEP IN BED! And also their ENTIRE SCHOOL REPORT! I mean it’s so ridiculous and cringey.

If you know you are making others feel jealous and uncomfortable why on earth would you keep banging on then? Your explanation doesn’t show you in a particularly nice light!

I’d prefer to see occasional posts of someone’s child’s achievements, eg passing a grammar school test, scoring 98% in an exam.... because that is impressive.

It’s the several updates if what little Jonny has been up to day at 10, 2, 6 and the next day and the following day and the next.....

The best sorts of people are those who are truly excellent at something and don’t let on. My ex got chatting to a guy at a party in the 90s who just said he was “in a band”. Ex then commiserated how hard it was to earn a living in music. Found out afterwards the band he was in was Massive Attack 😁

I have someone on insta who filmed her then 2 yo DS saying "smash the patriarchy" before he was allowed sweeties and replying "smash it" to "what do we do to the patriarchy, Timmy?". I'd be more impressed if Timmy had any idea what the fuck he was really saying rather than being half a step up from a performing seal given his tender years.

Same lady is a perfectionist over achiever and would regularly boast about the dream brood of children she couldn't wait to get started on. Til she lived it. She's now admitting she's one & done and any references to her past dreams of a bunch have been mysteriously removed from all social media...

@Pumperthepumper “‘don’t worry darling, it’s organic kale’
Wonderful

I still cringe inwardly when l remember this, and if the lady l was talking to is on here it all came out wrong and l'm not a total git - honest!
Several parents all sitting in a little room waiting while our kids do music grade practicals - chatting gently - one lady says she has trouble getting her son to practise and do l have the same problem with mine ... What l meant to say is "One only does it at gun point and the other loves it but never does any other homework" but what came out was "Oh no, he never stops playing!" As soon as it was out of my mouth l wished the ground would swallow me ...

One of my Facebook friends regularly posts funny stories of things her child has done or said, and the things she's said are often very wise and sensible, and the child is 4.

I know kids are funny and they can say funny/clever things, don't get me wrong .. but whenever she posts something, saying 'Ava said today .... ' my immediate thought is 'did she fuck'.

When we go to a certain event there is a family with their only son there. I'm so tired of hearing how he's working at a level 2 years above at English and maths and is the best in his sports group. It's pretty much all the parents say and all the boy (age around 7) just parrots this at you too with every conversation, while sitting there on a maths app very efficiently playing a game that tbh he's clearly played so much he's memorised it as in sure any child could with that much practice. The boy however has zero social skills as this is his only chat, and never joins in with the other kids, every one of whom are off playing with other similar age dc. Parents seem to think this is something to be proud of that he'd rather be there with the adults talking about his cleverness and staring at a screen.

I had one of these in DDs primary school. She was the cleverest, the best blah blah. I think she was fairly clever but the fact her mum would lie about her test results makes it hard to know.
I did say to her mum I wasn’t sending my DD to the nearest secondary as it was too big (and many other issues) and of course she said it was the best secondary there is (it’s really not) on the basis it’s nearer to her house. Her DD is miserable there, her FB has gone very quiet, she used to post about her DD in school every day.

The most bizarre thing she ever said was another parent mentioned how tall DD was, and she quipped that her DD was in fact the tallest in the school. My DD was a full head taller that her. They were stood next to each other at the time. So strange. My DD wasn’t even the tallest in school either.

No kid will ask for sushi over pizza, so this means SIL clearly planned this and pulled nephew aside beforehand and told him what to say. Pathetic, really.

Not true, my dc would rather have sushi, authentic curry, unusual tapas, fresh squid etc than pizza - how being they are clever enough (as are the vast majority) to realise that this won't be available at a birthday venue and that the food given will be pre ordered. Maybe that would have been a good response to her boast!

24MsTSwift

If you know you are making others feel jealous and uncomfortable why on earth would you keep banging on then? Your explanation doesn’t show you in a particularly nice light!
So, am I meant to keep quiet about my grandchildren's achievements then? My grandson recently won a scholarship to a very highly academic school. According to you, I shouldn't tell my wider family in case it makes them feel uncomfortable? Catch yourself on!

A 22 month old. 'She has a vocabulary in excess of 586 words, is adding up three digit numbers and becoming interested in programming computers and word puzzles'.

Said child struggled so much with speech that she was impossible to be understood by anybody that wasn't her parents until the age of seven and had precisely normal progress at school throughout compulsory education, then took three tries to get as far as and finish university in an Arts degree. So, in all, pretty normal but prepared to put effort in.

The embarrassing thing wasn't so much the ridiculous claims being made by the child's father, but that they were being made by my ex about our daughter.

The most bizarre thing she ever said was another parent mentioned how tall DD was, and she quipped that her DD was in fact the tallest in the school. My DD was a full head taller that her. They were stood next to each other at the time. So strange. My DD wasn’t even the tallest in school either.

Gosh is there no end to the things parents are competitive about? Height ffs?

@MrsToothyBitch

I have someone on insta who filmed her then 2 yo DS saying "smash the patriarchy" before he was allowed sweeties and replying "smash it" to "what do we do to the patriarchy, Timmy?". I'd be more impressed if Timmy had any idea what the fuck he was really saying rather than being half a step up from a performing seal given his tender years.

Same lady is a perfectionist over achiever and would regularly boast about the dream brood of children she couldn't wait to get started on. Til she lived it. She's now admitting she's one & done and any references to her past dreams of a bunch have been mysteriously removed from all social media...

When I was a child me and my siblings taught my much younger half sister to say “Maggie Thatcher yuck yuck” much to the amusement of our parents and their friends. It wasn’t considered some great political statement by a toddler, just an amusing party trick.

I said something similar up thread, but even if your child (or grandchild) has achieved something you really need to be mindful of others and their concerns for their children. In both my family and wider friendships there are a number of children who either due to SEN or other issues are struggling at school. I have a very academically able child who does win awards, yes I’m proud of her and she knows that, but the wider world doesn’t need to know all the ins and outs of her school life. Success should be its own reward.

I have two close friends who boast about their DC a fair bit, as do their DHs. Irritating! DH and I have occasionally speculated on why they do this.

To be fair, they also show interest in and compliment others’ DCs. But they could do that without the boasting!