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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable to leave my bf?

112 replies

Trumanshow · 09/11/2020 22:14

So..he is 40+and still lives at home with his mum. He has 3 kids he sees for less than 24 hours a week and doesnt speak to them in between. He works on a building site..but doesnt achieve much as always being let go. He says hes always tired..he gets home about 5 and gets a takeaway (other than the 2 or 3 nights a week I see him and I cook) and is asleep by 9.he has no responsibilities other than work... I have a child and work part time..i dont sit down until 9 ish so we barely ever speak. When he is here and my daughter is he gets annoyed I put her first and make sure her bedtime routine is the same (mostly me reading her a story and saying her prayers) .ive complained about not ever seeing him or speaking to him (nearly 3 years and hes cheated on me 5 times) so hes announced he has to have doctors appointment and and I'm not being supportive apparently...Am I being very unreasonable just thinking hes a lazy shit (hes at least 7 stone over weight) he tells me all the time I'm a mess up and a loser.

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/11/2020 22:16

YABU to question your decision. Hurry away from this ridiculous human.

LouiseTrees · 09/11/2020 22:17

LTB

nimbuscloud · 09/11/2020 22:18

Why do you even have to ask?

Trixie18 · 09/11/2020 22:19

Why on earth are you with him? Read your own post, you've answered your own question!

katy1213 · 09/11/2020 22:19

Gosh, where did you find him? We'll all be wanting one ... ladies, please form an orderly queue.

Aparttogether · 09/11/2020 22:19

What are you doing?

Brighterthansunflowers · 09/11/2020 22:20

YABU for staying with him this long, he sounds a total waste of space

Coffeecak3 · 09/11/2020 22:21

He sounds bloody awful.
Don't let your dd be round someone who resents her.

funinthesun19 · 09/11/2020 22:21

He just got worse and worse as I read your post. Bloody hell why are you even questioning it? Yuck!

ILoveFlumps · 09/11/2020 22:21

Think of the example you're setting your daughter by being with him. You need to let him go and work on your self esteem. You deserve so much more than that.

ZombieAttack · 09/11/2020 22:22

He’s cheated on you 5 times and you’re still there?

Cantdoitallperfectly · 09/11/2020 22:23

Get him out of your life! Run...

Chinam · 09/11/2020 22:24

You’d be unreasonable not to kick him to the curb. Seriously, what are you getting out of this “relationship”?

Coriandersucks · 09/11/2020 22:24

He’s a catch - not sure what the problem is with him 🙄

StrippedFridge · 09/11/2020 22:29

Look prayers are all very well but god helps those who help themselves. Your situation reminds me of the old joke:

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

You've been sent five lots of cheating and several large bags of mean. When will you use that and jettison him?!

Merryoldgoat · 09/11/2020 22:29

Ffs.

Trumanshow · 09/11/2020 22:29

5 times with the same person...and everytime I dont "do" what he wants he threatens me with her. Hes had snip so cant have more babies and I'm desperate for another. Fuck. What am.i actually doing? Sometimes typing this stuff to strangers brings a lot of clarity. Thank you x

OP posts:
footprintsintheslow · 09/11/2020 22:32

Are you seriously asking if you should leave this waster?

Reread this sentence you write and then just stop this silliness.

"When he is here and my daughter is he gets annoyed I put her first and make sure her bedtime routine is the same (mostly me reading her a story and saying her prayers)"

Start putting your child first and get rid of this idiot for the sake of yourself and child.

Newfornow · 09/11/2020 22:32

YABU to give this twat any of your affection

Newfornow · 09/11/2020 22:32

Ask yourself what is this situation teaching your child

Clarich007 · 09/11/2020 22:34

This has got to be a joke.
Sorry trueman show , you're worth a lot more than this.Why do you even have to ask Take care

DrizzleandDamp · 09/11/2020 22:37

He’s massively overweight, lazy, lives with his parents as he’s clearly shit with money, can only muster the energy to sleep and shag someone else, threatens you and is mean to your daughter.

Am I reading this right?

What are his charming redeeming qualities you are staying for?

FarTooSkinny · 09/11/2020 22:45

He sounds a catch. Could you send me his number when you ditch him?

MrsHound · 09/11/2020 22:45

Don't you dare end it he sounds like a dream

Trumanshow · 09/11/2020 22:45

Hes pretty good with money. He saves it all (!and gambles a bit)..he does help me out sometimes..like he brought me a coat when mine fell apart . But yes..hes not what I want for a role model for my daughter. I have incredibly low self esteem.. throw back to my childhood. Never ever been "enough".

OP posts: