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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable to leave my bf?

112 replies

Trumanshow · 09/11/2020 22:14

So..he is 40+and still lives at home with his mum. He has 3 kids he sees for less than 24 hours a week and doesnt speak to them in between. He works on a building site..but doesnt achieve much as always being let go. He says hes always tired..he gets home about 5 and gets a takeaway (other than the 2 or 3 nights a week I see him and I cook) and is asleep by 9.he has no responsibilities other than work... I have a child and work part time..i dont sit down until 9 ish so we barely ever speak. When he is here and my daughter is he gets annoyed I put her first and make sure her bedtime routine is the same (mostly me reading her a story and saying her prayers) .ive complained about not ever seeing him or speaking to him (nearly 3 years and hes cheated on me 5 times) so hes announced he has to have doctors appointment and and I'm not being supportive apparently...Am I being very unreasonable just thinking hes a lazy shit (hes at least 7 stone over weight) he tells me all the time I'm a mess up and a loser.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 10/11/2020 15:49

he threatens me with her
Tell him she can have him!

YoniAndGuy · 10/11/2020 15:55

What the hell are you doing?!

romany4 · 10/11/2020 16:49

he threatens me with her

Send him on his way. He sounds bloody awful!!

BeenThereDone · 10/11/2020 16:58

You are definitely being The Most Unreasonable I have ever heard.... To keep this loser around. He couldn't care less about anyone not even his own children... Dump and block now!!

3rdNamechange · 10/11/2020 18:15

Honestly , I feel sad reading this. When you dump him , your self esteem will immediately improve. When you do get rid of him, please spend some time on your own. It will help you enormously, know that you are worth more than this , show your daughter how real , strong women take on life.
It's better to be on your own than with a prick like this.
Good luck.

Sparklfairy · 10/11/2020 18:24

Hes been there for me when noone else was

Just not when you had Covid...

tsmainsqueeze · 10/11/2020 18:52

Are you serious ? do you really put up with this? READ YOUR POST BACK !!!!!!

Trumanshow · 14/11/2020 23:10

Thank you. I've started it. Tried to break up with him.last night. It will happen.

OP posts:
mrsmcvoddy · 14/11/2020 23:17

Now come on, read your comments again.
What do you want for yourself? It’s not this is it?

Feedingthebirds1 · 14/11/2020 23:26

How did you try to break up with him? This is your lack of self worth showing, that you didn't have the confidence to do it. The only phrase you need is short and sharp.

'It's over.'

he tells me all the time I'm a mess up and a loser.

Either he's heavily projecting, or is laughing at you. He knows he's no catch, but yet you're prepared to put up with it, even love him.

Do you love him? Or because your childhood was shit and you never felt 'enough' are you just grateful that he, loser that he is, is prepared to give you some time and attention?

You are enough. And you don't have to settle for this because you fear you'll never be good enough for anyone nice. get rid of him. Feel the weight lift when you realise that you don't have to put up with his disrespect that only reinforces your low self esteem.

And when he's gone, come back here for help and advice on how to build self esteem. I have some resources I can recommend for a start.

Nanny0gg · 14/11/2020 23:27

@Trumanshow

Thank you. I've started it. Tried to break up with him.last night. It will happen.
What do you mean 'tried'?
Holothane · 14/11/2020 23:56

It’s about six weeks b4fore now ged rid and start looking forward without this loser in your life, you are worth much more than this.hugs

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