To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

@RiftGibbon

Encountered a miserable bigger today. Went for a walk in our local park with DC. It was really busy so we had to keep stepping aside for people. As we were heading home, three separate lots of people, all dog walkers were headed toward us. DC likes animals so as we passed, said "hello" to the first dog we passed. And the second. And the third which wagged it's tail and vaguely headed toward DC. Woman whose dog it was sighed really loudly, rolled her eyes, dragged the dog off and glared at us.

Dog walker was probably sick of her daily routes being clogged up with families ambling about. Perhaps she's sick of having to keep her dog on a lead because there are kids everywhere and she's a responsible dog owner. Your animal loving children might have been the tenth such encounter she'd had that day and perhaps her dog is reactive hence her 'dragging' it off.

The 'miserable bugger' wasn't me but it could well of been.

OP fuck them. Kids are being seriously let down during this and if people are so uptight about a kid crossing their path, let them stay at home.

Fortunately in my part of London, it seems to be pretty child friendly in that people don't object to kids being kids.

Now c'mon op, you know your kids should be confined to their rooms doing their times tables and reading Thackeray all day 😄

I try and keep out of peoples way as much as possible at the moment, I'm paranoid of getting abuse over small things like these.

@Grenlei

I'm not miserable, however I do find loud screeching almost unbearable, and also small children careering around parks quite annoying when you're trying to SD (in lockdown 1 I was running outside daily and found myself dodging and swerving round small children constantly as they wandered into my path. The ones on bikes or scooters were worse, in fairness to the OP hers were at least only on foot).

They're small children. Unless parents keep them on a lead, they run around. That is what kids do,

People everywhere are angrier and quicker to get pissy with people than previously. They’ve been given RULES now so feel justified in having a go.

I think some people are definitely more short tempered and suspicious at the moment of others coming too close to them and making noise. More people are on a shorter fuse for sure.

Although what you describe is extreme OP, I do sense an intolerance at the moment in general but especially towards children. They’re a soft target huh. I’m more and more having to apologize in the park or other outdoor spaces for my children being, well, just children.

I fear a return to ‘children should be seen and not heard’ 🙄

People are more grumpy and scared these days. I dislike rudeness.

But with elderly, vulnerable and shielded people they can go out during this lockdown but only for the purpose of exercise only. If this is the first and only time they are out of the house each day they won’t want to risk your kids coming anywhere near them as the media has whipped them up into a frenzy. Also if they catch covid they have much more to loose. I was always super careful with my kids when they were young around the elderly as if they fall swerving to avoid your kids they could break a hip or give themselves a nasty injury.

Maybe take your kids somewhere quieter, less busy and keep an eye on them.
In the garden they must have been bad for someone to shout but maybe they are isolating, unwell and are climbing the walls etc.

Hmm if you have that many examples and more from all different people, I would assume its not other people that are the problem.

I think people are more miserable atm op, i kindly assume it's stress and anxiety.

DS is friendly, always says hello to people and then asks me why they ignore him. I know he should be locked inside or gagged and bound if i insist he leaves the house, but would it kill people to say hello back to a 5 year old?

Just tell them to fuck off op, i had a few words with a childs dad at a softplay not long before this lockdown!

My child dared to get close to his child in a soft play area, my child is 1. Simply told him, if he is worried about the virus he should stay at home and dont go to a soft play!

TBH I see both sides. In London, we are all living on top of each other and everyone is pissing everyone else off!

Old people: likely effectively shielding and trying to take zero risk, so a child coming anywhere near them is a big risk. I don’t think they were hugely unreasonable—they are a potential fall risk, a park is the only place they can go, if they are on a path I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to expect people to stay well away—if joggers, dogs, cyclists etc did that it would be unacceptable. It’s probably best to try to keep the child with you until you get to a playing field or a playground and let them roam free there—old people also have the right to use parks.

Dog owner: was a dick no doubt, but again is probably stressed by the situation. Would have been coming here for years for relaxing walks, now the whole world has invaded his space. Has probably had a dozen bad interactions with children that week.

Person out window: I don’t think parents can really understand how horrendous the noise is when you’re locked inside all day, unable to go outside and having to work and sleep in this condition. They were rude, but I can really sympathise with the fact that it was intolerable.

Unfortunately in London there just isn’t enough space for us all to use parks as we want to, and I think we have to be more careful. I think this means children need to be much more tightly controlled than normal, and let “off lead” only in areas where they won’t disturb.

I don’t think parents can really understand how horrendous the noise is when you’re locked inside all day, unable to go outside and having to work and sleep in this condition.

Why would you think parents don’t understand this? Parents are living in those conditions just the same as non-parents.

It’s stressful for everyone, but that doesn’t give anyone license to demand that children don’t make a noise or cross their path or, heave forfend!, aslkto pat a dog. Children are stressed too, and they’re people too; they’re not luxury pets to be kept indoors when others find them inconvenient.

I’ve been pissed off by the number of posts this year about children being noisy in their own garden during lockdown. The days I spent sitting in my garden this summer I’ve enjoyed listening to my young neighbours playing, my kids are late teens / early twenties so love hearing kiddies playing while not having to chase around after them. Some people are such grumpy fuckers who have obviously forgotten what it’s like to be a child

@GoldenOmber because parents at least like children! Not everyone does.

[quote Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]@GoldenOmber because parents at least like children! Not everyone does.[/quote]
So you’re saying that some non-parents dislike children so much that having to listen to them play in their own garden is ‘horrendous’ and ‘intolerable’? And that in response to that, we should sympathise with the adults and expect children to stay inside and be quieter?

Children are people too, children are living through stressful times too. Adults can buy some earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones or put on some music if the sound of children playing in their own garden is really such a torture.

COVID's been an excuse for some horrible people to let out their inner miseries. I can never understand people being horrible to kids, they are kids for ffs. I have a 19 month old and cannot imagine someone shouting at him like that and believe me, my response would be very abusive. If you are worried about risks, don't walk near a kids park or if you see a kid running towards you, move out the way ffs you're an adult 4x larger and faster. I don't like dogs running up to me, so I move out their way or change direction, I don't shout at the dog or the owner if it gets too close to me and I was attacked by a dog when I was younger. There is no excuse for adults to shout at children and let alone at a toddler. What's my kid going to do to you? Kiss you on the mouth? Bite you? Attack you? Spread COVID on your trousers because height wise that's how tall a toddler would be? Ffs fuck off you miserable idiots.

3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really,

But they did have to slow down, then.

Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!)

Not a Covid fear but really sensible advice since you don't know what other pets are like. It's certainly the advice I give my kids.

While it's probably unfortunate to have these events close together, you're not coming across as entirely reasonable and you seem as though you're glossing over a few bits.

YANBU

@Circusoflove

People everywhere are angrier and quicker to get pissy with people than previously. They’ve been given RULES now so feel justified in having a go.

This. My 12 year old has been spoken to very rudely by two old women separately whilst minding his own business walking home. Both random snaps.

Unusual. It’s a shame as well as he’s very obedient with the rules.

Whao, OP, I only read the first few replies, but you seem to have found a mine of neurotic anti-children people here on mumsnet too.

Can't people have a bit of compassion for children during these hard times? None of us had to live isolated from our playmates for nearly an entire year like this generation does.

If the dog owner didn't want anyone to touch the dog, he shouldn't allow it to approach children either. He was lucky that the OP's DS likes dogs. If it was a child who was terrified of dogs, the mother would have been justified in saying a lot more than 'fucking dog owners'.

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy even more tightly controlled than not being permitted to play with a single other child for eight months and counting, in the case of toddlers not at nursery, nor cuddle friends or relatives that aren't in immediate household, or attend any public space without being scowled at?

This is unnatural and stressful for children too, but even though they haven't yet learnt to fully moderate their emotions (and they look to adults to model that by the way) two year olds are expected to keep calm and controlled at all times while adults can swear and grumble and be rude because of the intolerable nature of it all

I think people are scared, stressed and run down by this year and definitely more confrontational than normal. Fight or flight response in action.

Colleagues have noticed more road rage, an elderly man told off my kids, then repeated the rant to me, for running too close to a ( v v quiet) road when exiting a park ( they are street wise and know to stop, but I appreciate he doesn't know know that.

My in laws told me this long story about workmen on the pavement who didn't automatically move for them recently and how horrified they were. They are retired and have been shielding and very worried about catching covid.

The story sounded completely entitled to me and highlighted they have a totally different perspective on life then I do and way more time and energy to get annoyed over minor inconviences...