To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

You and your children seem to be the common denominator here. Just saying.

Are you one of those with delightful "free range" children?

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?! It sound awful! No one speaks to children like that where I live 😱 I’ve had pretty much all the same scenarios as you but I’ll go ‘sorry’ and the person generally says something like ‘oh don’t worry no problem!’ smiling and getting on with their day. What horrible twats in your area.

Ah just saw you live in London. I moved away from there (born and bred) for various reasons one of them being awful moody bastards.

What a load of miserable bastards. I’d move.
Somehow I suspect op would take the problem with her.

Encountered a miserable bigger today. Went for a walk in our local park with DC. It was really busy so we had to keep stepping aside for people. As we were heading home, three separate lots of people, all dog walkers were headed toward us.
DC likes animals so as we passed, said "hello" to the first dog we passed.
And the second.
And the third which wagged it's tail and vaguely headed toward DC.
Woman whose dog it was sighed really loudly, rolled her eyes, dragged the dog off and glared at us.

@applepineapple

Are you one of those with delightful "free range" children?

Based on the fact that one of them asked to pat a dog? Why do you feel this is such awful behaviour?

@Staffy1

They all sound unnecessarily rude and grumpy. I don't think telling them not to touch other people's pets is a fear of covid though, it's sensible advice as you don't know how the dog will react to a strange child touching it.

But then a dog should not be going up to children, if the owner does not want his dog touched

You and your children seem to be the common denominator here. Just saying.

Yes this. I would be interested in the other sides of the story.

People tend not to be intolerant towards children in my opinion. Just some parents who think that anyone who doesn't find their free range, badly managed and allowed to be feee spirit of a child adorable.

Impressed by the ability of quite so many people here to take a fairly straightforward story and decide the OP must be lying/the adults must have been totally reasonable/the children must be awful screeching brats, based on... the idea that several adults could not possibly be that rude to children.

No no, adults are totally reasonable when it comes to children's behaviour! You're making the case SO WELL on this very thread!

@Mycircusmymonkey

Sometimes it’s them but sometimes it’s definitely your kids!

Yep

Old people are particularly stressed at the moment (understandably) so we'll give her a pass

Are they? I hadn’t noticed that

GoldenOmber
I don't think anyone has said that adults are never unreasonable.

IIRC the OP gave them as examples but spoke about how this is continually happening. If the same thing is happening continuously over a period of time, it's not that unreasonable to suggest a moment of reflection.

For what it's worth I think the dog owner was totally unreasonable, but can easily see how a parent/child who is being continually challenged might tell the other two differently than the other people in the situation.

This reminds me v much of a recent experience in Waitrose. I was queuing up and felt rather guilty that I had a big shop and the man behind only a basket and was going to let him go in front of me when all of a sudden a child around 18 months old came past crying. The dad was rushing out of the shop and clearly felt embarrassed and flustered and the man behind me said very loudly 'get it out of here.' I was so disgusted by his attitude I certainly didn't let him go in front of me and took my time, chatting away to the shop assistant and rearranging my bags. What a miserable old cu next Tuesday to talk about a young infant like that. How miserable some people must be to walk about being that angry and wound up.

IIRC the OP gave them as examples but spoke about how this is continually happening. If the same thing is happening continuously over a period of time, it's not that unreasonable to suggest a moment of reflection.

She said she had about three other examples from this year, and pretty much none from any previous years.

Maybe not everyone wants your kids pestering then.

A quick fuck off and a glare usually shuts them up. Moody fuckers.

It’s not like that where I live (rural East Mids), people here are nice!

GoldenOmber
The this year/ previous years doesn't show much because everyone has been home more this year, plenty of people have changed how they do things with their kids. It's entirely possible for ideas of oo noise to change if you're thinking, for example, well we aren't going to the park.

Most people aren't getting several random people having an issue with their kids. I agree there's miserable folk out there so I'm certainly not saying the OP is all wrong, but situations like this remind me of when someone in the workplace insists that they're sick of workplace drama / sick of being pulled up for something and it happens in different jobs. We all know there's some bad managers and bitchy teams, but if someone manages to go team to team or job to job and has similar issues then even if it isn't totally their fault, some reflection is probably worthwhile.

@Mycircusmymonkey

Sometimes it’s them but sometimes it’s definitely your kids!

That's what I was thinking.

@Coastercat where does it say that kids can scream and create noise and no one can stop them? We are all working from home, if kids are screaming then we should be in a position to tell the parents to ask them to play quietly. Kids rights dont overrule our rights to be able to work from home. I hate screaming kids, will give me a headache.

Re 3yo needing to run - he can run in your garden, he can run in an enclosed playground People who are whinging about other people running near them can walk around their own garden/home and then not have to suffer the horror of other people's existence.

Most people aren't getting several random people having an issue with their kids.

Several people upthread have said that they've experienced similar, though. (I haven't, but I don't feel the need to extrapolate that to "therefore, anyone who says they have is probably bringing it on themselves.")

I mean, from the OP's examples, her children are not behaving badly. They're just not. So of course it's possible she's lying or hugely mistaken because she can't judge distance or whatever, but on the face of it, do any of the scenarios she describes really call for this?

"Your kids sound pretty irritating."
"I suspect it was probably louder than you think"
"some people think their little darlings are entitled to screech outside other peoples’ windows"
"The dog walker was correct."
"Are you one of those with delightful "free range" children?"

If people are reading the scenario the OP describes and going straight to "well OBVIOUSLY it is the fault of you and your bratty children, bet the noise is like nails screeching down a blackboard, bet you're one of those parents who lets them do what they like", that does rather seem to be proving the OP's point about the behaviour of some adults right now.

How can anyone be nasty to a three year old. So sad.

I agree the whole covid business is sending some people loopy. I think anyone with a propensity to being nasty now has their reason to be that way to others...

I was out running the other week, on a pavement going up a hill. Elderly couple on the pavement on the other side of the road coming down the hill. They decided to cross to my side of the road just as I was drawing level with them and then shouted at me for not getting off the pavement to social distance.

That happened to my DM the other week (was a middle-aged woman on her own though, so not the same person). These people are twats, and seem to be the kind of people who could start a row in an empty room.