To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

@MadameBlobby

I’m guessing the mentality on mn generally will tell you that you are BU because of your feral children and people being “frightened” despite probably approximately zero chance of Covid transmission in these circumstances but I don’t think you are and those people sound like a bunch of miserable cunts. If they are that bothered about low risk interactions they should stay in the house.

I do think many people have been so frightened by Covid that they lose all rationality. I've been more careful than most (even too careful) but I don't fear getting Covid from walking past someone in the street (unless they chose to cough all over me). I'll get out the way as much as possible for their benefit as much as anything because many's health anxiety is through the roof and I fear being screamed at.

On the other hand you get loads of people mixed together with no distancing at all and no care in the world.

What happened to common sense or common decency?

For those who are so entitled to tell the elderly and vulnerable to just stay in if they are frightened is equally wrong and very intolerant!!
Getting outside for a little bit of fresh air and exercise (at their level) should be open to is everyone and makes everyone feel a little better and improves their mental health it is not just reserved for young children running wild and their parents surely.
We have been trying to get my mum and mum in law to wrap up well and try and take a little walk around the block everyday just to get them out of the house. One is in her late 70’s and the other is in her early 80’s. They are already wary and worried about falling or catching the virus. So if they encounter kids running wild they are bound to be scared during this point in time surely.
I am on the shielded list and we are permitted and encouraged to go out of the house for exercise. We can’t work outside of the home (fortunately I can work from home) we can’t go shopping or leave the house for any other reason. So we don’t have the luxury of strolling around Asda, B&M, The Range, M&S, a garden centre or whatever like most members of society do. But going outside for exercise is fabulous. I live in a semi rural area and if I see people I give them a very wide berth but I do really enjoy being outside for a walk and fresh air so please be more tolerant of the elderly and vulnerable.
If your children are running around please be mindful that many people are very scared of catching the virus so try and keep them under some control or take them somewhere where they can run around safely without spoiling someone else’s daily stroll.

@GooseberryTart

For those who are so entitled to tell the elderly and vulnerable to just stay in if they are frightened is equally wrong and very intolerant!! Getting outside for a little bit of fresh air and exercise (at their level) should be open to is everyone and makes everyone feel a little better and improves their mental health it is not just reserved for young children running wild and their parents surely. We have been trying to get my mum and mum in law to wrap up well and try and take a little walk around the block everyday just to get them out of the house. One is in her late 70’s and the other is in her early 80’s. They are already wary and worried about falling or catching the virus. So if they encounter kids running wild they are bound to be scared during this point in time surely. I am on the shielded list and we are permitted and encouraged to go out of the house for exercise. We can’t work outside of the home (fortunately I can work from home) we can’t go shopping or leave the house for any other reason. So we don’t have the luxury of strolling around Asda, B&M, The Range, M&S, a garden centre or whatever like most members of society do. But going outside for exercise is fabulous. I live in a semi rural area and if I see people I give them a very wide berth but I do really enjoy being outside for a walk and fresh air so please be more tolerant of the elderly and vulnerable. If your children are running around please be mindful that many people are very scared of catching the virus so try and keep them under some control or take them somewhere where they can run around safely without spoiling someone else’s daily stroll.

Do you think many people take their young kids for "strolls" around supermarkets and The Range? Highly doubtful.

Kids have as much right to be outside as anyone else. That they run around and might have the audacity to run across someone's path is not unusual and even now, when people are anxious, kids are kids and it doesn't warrant rudeness.

She absolutely has a right to be in the shop, as does everyone else. My point is that the retired population could shop mid week to avoid the crowds at a weekend, then it would be quieter and less traumatic for them.

If they chose to be in the shops when it's at its busiest then they have to accept that it will be busy. Usually with people who work in the week.

Some people are just nasty to whoever they think they can get away with being nasty to. The people who shout at children like this are the same people who will be rude to waiters but gracious to the boss. A guy on a train once shouted at me because my baby woke up and cried for about 10 seconds. She was in a sling so a couple of bounces and back to sleep. She’d been woken up by a big group of football supporters all drinking and singing loudly, so that was really where the noise was coming from, but this man didn’t fancy asking them to keep it down, so just found someone smaller than him to take his frustration out on.

No @kirinm what I meant was those in the shielded category still have the right to go outside for exercise it isn’t just reserved exclusively for children. Going out for exercise (even if just a slow walk) and attending medical appointments is the only time they are advised to venture outside. Whereas other sectors of society enjoy more freedom such as going to shops etc. I am not suggesting the OP take her children to the Range or any other shop to let off steam I was just explaining how many people such as the vulnerable (shielded) and some elderly people should be able to go outside and enjoy it without encountering unchecked children running close to them. It is a scary time we all need to be mindful of others.

They all sound miserable. Kids ask to stroke my dogs all the time - I always say yes. And I'm pleased they asked.

A small child ran and bumped into me in Tesco yesterday. His Mum was "oh god I'm so sorry" I just laughed. It was an accident. He didn't mean it and he's only small.

People have gone crazy with the don't come near me stuff 🙄

I'm astounded and sad at the response you are getting.

I don't know how anyone can possibly say the dog walker was correct? His fucking dog shouldn't have been able to wander over to your kids. You've taught your kids to ask. He could have given them the decency of saying sorry no, because ..... but thank you for asking'. Absolutely no need for such a rude response.

And so fucking what if the person who shouted shut up shut up shut up was WFH... On a Saturday afternoon. Why couldn't she shout 'i'm really sorry but I'm sleeping off a nightshift/other fair reason would you mind playing more quietly?'

There is no excuse for such rude and agressive responses from strangers even if the kids were being annoying, and I don't even think they were.

I often think most of Mumsnet don't even have kids, it is so unsupportive of normal children's behaviour these days.

@GooseberryTart

For those who are so entitled to tell the elderly and vulnerable to just stay in if they are frightened is equally wrong and very intolerant!! Getting outside for a little bit of fresh air and exercise (at their level) should be open to is everyone and makes everyone feel a little better and improves their mental health it is not just reserved for young children running wild and their parents surely. We have been trying to get my mum and mum in law to wrap up well and try and take a little walk around the block everyday just to get them out of the house. One is in her late 70’s and the other is in her early 80’s. They are already wary and worried about falling or catching the virus. So if they encounter kids running wild they are bound to be scared during this point in time surely. I am on the shielded list and we are permitted and encouraged to go out of the house for exercise. We can’t work outside of the home (fortunately I can work from home) we can’t go shopping or leave the house for any other reason. So we don’t have the luxury of strolling around Asda, B&M, The Range, M&S, a garden centre or whatever like most members of society do. But going outside for exercise is fabulous. I live in a semi rural area and if I see people I give them a very wide berth but I do really enjoy being outside for a walk and fresh air so please be more tolerant of the elderly and vulnerable. If your children are running around please be mindful that many people are very scared of catching the virus so try and keep them under some control or take them somewhere where they can run around safely without spoiling someone else’s daily stroll.

This.

It’s really cruel of people on here to say “if you’re so scared of the virus, then don’t go outside at all.” We all need to do our best to coexist in parks—that means joggers need to piss off to areas away from others, dog walkers need to change their usual routes, and yes children need to be keeping their energetic runs to set areas of the park to avoid the elderly and vulnerable out for a stroll.

@gooseberrytart but unfortunately parks are where children go. Especially in London.

It isn't natural for any of us to be locked up but children didn't understand why all of a sudden their lives completely changed. I have a small and very energetic toddler and seeing her personality change during lockdown going from a confident friendly sociable child to a child who cried whenever anyone talked to her and hid behind our legs was awful.

I'm very much of the mindset that kids' lives have already been massively disrupted and we should be aiming for them to be living their life as normal as possible (and it isn't normal now). I understand people are anxious particularly those shielding (my MIL and own mum are), but people really need to lighten up particularly where kids are involved.

Ah, the joggers hatred shows up too.

Covid really has brought out the absolute worst in people.

I get children wanting to come up an stroke my horse all the time when I'm out riding. It's the loviliest thing - genuine enjoyment on their faces! Of course, sometimes I'm in a world of my own and can't be bothered, but I realise I'm an ambassador for my sport when I'm out in public so I'm always polite. And out of decency too.

Some people have no manners (and therefore can't reach their dogs any either, but thars another story...)

I would be furious if anyone spoke to my children like this. Your kid didn't touch the dog, so no need for the "fucking kids" comment, and the old lady who shouted at you sounds a bit ridiculous, especially as you said your child was 2m away from her. Cant comment on the noise though but to be honest childrne should be allowed to have fun in their bloody garden.

that means joggers need to piss off to areas away from others, dog owners need to change their usual routes, and yes children need to be keeping their energetic runs to set areas of the park

Do you suffer from ASPD? Honestly, if you cannot cope with people in public places who are legally entitled to be there, maybe get some counselling?

Or alternatively, put your money where your mouth is and buy a country estate.

And hiw exactly are all these perfectly standard classes of park users meant to get to these fabled "suitable" areas of parks? Shufflibg along, heads down, at 1 mph, lest they cause alarm at their appearance? Teleportation?

A small child ran and bumped into me in Tesco yesterday. His Mum was "oh god I'm so sorry" I just laughed. It was an accident. He didn't mean it and he's only small

Had a small child careered into my frail mother, he would most likely to have caused her to fall with injury requiring medical treatment. I wouldn’t be laughing (though to be fair would be focussed on helping mother and checking injuries than admonishing the human cannonball

Lockdown aside it’s rude to let your kids run across ppl. And it’s a shared garden not a private garden so you need to keep the noise down.

I love kids but I hate when they are allowed to run around and into grownups. Etc

I see a lot of joggers where I go walking and we manage to coexist happily. I think the risk of contracting covid from someone running past you two metres away must be miniscule.

The lady in the park was being ridiculous.

If you are so scared of the virus that someone cannot cross your path two metres away then really, stay in.

The child is small, they aren't noted for their spacial awareness.

It’s really cruel of people on here to say “if you’re so scared of the virus, then don’t go outside at all.” We all need to do our best to coexist in parks—that means joggers need to piss off to areas away from others, dog walkers need to change their usual routes, and yes children need to be keeping their energetic runs to set areas of the park to avoid the elderly and vulnerable out for a stroll.
Right. So what you're saying is, we want to be here and I've decided we're more important, so you change everything you've been doing?

This thread is certainly a strange one.

On others threads parents get told their kids will be obese because they fed them some sugar, mentally scarred because they were not bought plastic presents at Christmas and destroyed because they were not listened to at every opportunity by every adult.

Then here we have adults openly shouting at small children being defended.

You have my sympathies OP, we are more fucked up then we know.

@Aridane I'm not your mother though am I. It was my experience/opinion I was giving

I'd be pissed off if someone told my child off for just being herself and doing what kids do. YANBU at all.

I haven't been out running since lockdown started (we were self-isolating) but during lockdown I was often running in the road to swerve the people walking on the pavements in groups of 2 or 3. No pedestrians ever tried to move out of the way let alone thank me for trying to run across roads full of cars. Yet runners are the ones getting the abuse (and children of course).

@kirinm

I haven't been out running since lockdown started (we were self-isolating) but during lockdown I was often running in the road to swerve the people walking on the pavements in groups of 2 or 3. No pedestrians ever tried to move out of the way let alone thank me for trying to run across roads full of cars. Yet runners are the ones getting the abuse (and children of course).

*during the first lockdown

I do think that some people who are generally quite slow moving almost make a virtue out of it. Some people are actually afraid of others who love faster!