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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at people shopping in families/couples?

875 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 08/11/2020 16:37

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.

Now I totally respect that in certain circumstances there has to be exceptions to this rule e.g. for lone parents, shopping with a vulnerable person etc.

However, there were a huge number of large families (with both parents) shopping today, lots and lots of couples (young/middle-aged) etc.

Why are so many people blatantly ignoring the guidance?

OP posts:
JamminDoughnuts · 10/11/2020 09:00

i hope those who use shopping as an excuse for a day out with rethink their actions. it is unnecessary. like it or not.

CherryValanc · 10/11/2020 09:24

This was a common enough thread topic before COVID-19. Creating this thread has got nothing to do with rules/laws/restrictions really - that's just another channel to come through to get here.

If you see people shopping together then the reason they are is that they are and there is a myriad of possibilities why. Same as why people shop alone.

The question to ask is: AIBU to wonder why get I annoyed at people doing thing differently to me?

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 09:40

The question to ask is: AIBU to wonder why get I annoyed at people doing thing differently to me?

During a pandemic it's absolutely fine to wonder why people are doing things. I think being 'annoyed' is a bit pointless, it won't change anything will it? But to inwardly ponder is pretty normal.

I couldn't go shopping in the supermarket as a family if I wanted to. Nobody would want to go with me. Sad Grin I have always liked to go alone and concentrate, or DH will go alone if he wants to be picky over meat or whatever.

JamminDoughnuts · 10/11/2020 09:54

it is harder to keep your distance from a whole family than one single person

LolaSmiles · 10/11/2020 10:07

During a pandemic it's absolutely fine to wonder why people are doing things. I think being 'annoyed' is a bit pointless, it won't change anything will it? But to inwardly ponder is pretty normal
I agree, and to be honest most people who have a moan on AIBU aren't furious, they're just a bit irritated.

I've never understood the appeal of a man child plodding half an aisle behind his partner who is actually shopping/have never particularly liked having to dodge kids on heelies or kids being allowed to wander around and get in people's way, and find it frankly ridiculous in the middle of a pandemic when shops are asking people to shop alone/one adult per household if possible.

I couldn't care less if people genuinely need someone with them, or they have to have their children with them. I just wish those getting super defensive about their family outings because there's nothing else to do / DP couldn't follow a shopping list applied a little common sense instead of saying 'yeah but it's not the law...'

Mylittlesandwich · 10/11/2020 10:12

I've just read up the covid procedures for the 2 shops I shop in (Lidl and Asda) and there is no mention of shopping alone. I've been supermarket shopping at least once a week all year and I don't have covid. I've had several tests due to DS bringing home every single bug at nursery but none of them were covid.

Largely irrelevant but at almost 1 DS doesn't wave at people. He smiles at them but because we've been in the house since he was about 4 months old he doesn't wave back at people. Yes he is my PFB.

So, for now, we pop to the shops together. Then when we're done we go to the cafe for a coffee with my mum. I'm not allowed to meet her inside but I am in a hospitality setting. That little routine is keeping me sane so I won't apologise for it.

JamminDoughnuts · 10/11/2020 10:26

i doubt anyone would be concerned about anyone shopping with their baby

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 10/11/2020 10:27

Government Publication - see "Managing Contacts":

2.1 Manage contacts

Encouraging customers to shop alone where possible, unless they need specific assistance.

Can you think of any reason(s) why some supermarkets (businesses) might not be referring to this guidance within their policies? I can.

OP posts:
MsTSwift · 10/11/2020 10:31

I don’t think anyone means an individual shopping with a baby 🙄. It’s people going on big family outings a couple with 2 enormous kids. Don’t feel hugely strongly about it tbh but if we are supposed to minimise contact indoors one adult doing the shop alone surely makes sense. Other leisure places are shut so all going to shops for this purpose instead kind of defeats the object of this lockdown!

Themadcatparade · 10/11/2020 10:37

We go shopping together where possible because it’s easier. Plus we enjoy it, it’s a good way to spend time together and we can plan meals and treats as we go along.

I don’t see that as controlling? It would be controlling as I made him Grin but he equally enjoys it too.

Saying that, since lockdown we have been doing more solo shopping, it’s fallen on me more as I’m WFH and have more free time. I am struggling with my anxiety - pretty much have a panic attack every time I go now as I get overwhelmed. Shopping and packing time is halved when Dp is there so this alleviates the experience.

I think as long as it’s not well busy - if you shop as a couple you are from the same household anyway with shared germs. Surely the additional risk for covid spreading is minimal there.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 10/11/2020 11:22

During a pandemic it's absolutely fine to wonder why people are doing things. I think being 'annoyed' is a bit pointless, it won't change anything will it? But to inwardly ponder is pretty normal

I agree, and to be honest most people who have a moan on AIBU aren't furious, they're just a bit irritated

Both very true

madcow88 · 10/11/2020 11:41

@Nicknamegoeshere

Don't people get why more than one person shopping increases risk? Or do they simply not care? So, in essence, people are putting lives at risk because they "like shopping together" or see it as a bit of a jolly out?!!
Oh do stop whining.. fgs would the covid police please give it a rest!!
Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 11:51

I don’t understand why you would call people ‘COVID police’ for having their say on a Talk forum. Maybe if they were down at Asda berating all the families and making citizens arrests you could. Hmm

Bookworming · 10/11/2020 12:13

@Nicknamegoeshere why does 500 single people in a shop cause less risk than 250 couples in a shop?

If the capacity is 500 how does it increase risk if that 500 are made up of couples?

It may cause queues, but all supermarkets are limiting the amount of people going in. I just don't understand how it increases risk.

lovelemoncurd · 10/11/2020 12:21

How is a supermarket going to encourage customers to shop alone ffs? 'Excuse me you seem to be walking round looking like a couple. Would you mind walking 2 metres apart to give the impression you are single'!

FFs op. This thread has made me go out of my way to not shop alone!

BluebellsGreenbells · 10/11/2020 12:22

Surely one person at the till is less risk than two people at the till - to the shop assistant? Two abreast is closer than one person alone?

Tow people two different jobs more risk

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 12:28

I have just come back from the shops. It wasn't that busy in the supermarket but everyone seemed to be shopping alone from what I could tell. Disappointed I have nothing to report really.

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 12:28

@lovelemoncurd

How is a supermarket going to encourage customers to shop alone ffs? 'Excuse me you seem to be walking round looking like a couple. Would you mind walking 2 metres apart to give the impression you are single'!

FFs op. This thread has made me go out of my way to not shop alone!

Some supermarkets have a marshall on the door explaining the one person, one trolley rule-they don't wait until you have entered!
JamminDoughnuts · 10/11/2020 12:32

@lovelemoncurd

How is a supermarket going to encourage customers to shop alone ffs? 'Excuse me you seem to be walking round looking like a couple. Would you mind walking 2 metres apart to give the impression you are single'!

FFs op. This thread has made me go out of my way to not shop alone!

they stopped us on the way in at Waitrose, and as it happens dd only wanted the loo!
MsTSwift · 10/11/2020 12:47

Marshall on the door at Waitrose yesterday I was on my own so don’t know if he was enforcing that or not. Most people on their own thinking about it but middle of day on a school day

Bookworming · 10/11/2020 12:47

@BluebellsGreenbells how is two at a till (assuming social distancing, screens etc) worse than two separate people?

ultragroupie · 10/11/2020 14:04

@Bookworming

I agree OP, it is so bloody annoying! There was a family of 5 shopping 2day, mum, dad and 3 teenage kids just casually chatting away as they shopped for goodies...absolute joke! Not one essential item in the basket!!

Jesus are people now assessing and judging others shopping, no essential items. Did they buy stuff other that bread and milk. How fucking dare they!

Er I know! I just went to the corner shop for bread and washing powder but I also bought jaffa cakes Shock Shock. I am praying that the washing powder cancels out the non-essential jaffa cakes then I still have the net effect of the bread to protect me from the virus Wink
user1471447863 · 10/11/2020 14:16

[quote Bookworming]@BluebellsGreenbells how is two at a till (assuming social distancing, screens etc) worse than two separate people?[/quote]
Really?

Do people STILL not understand that more people circulating and mixing is worse and increases the risk of spreading infection than having as few people as possible?

No wonder we are still where we are

Bookworming · 10/11/2020 14:32

@user1471447863 REALLY?

Do you STILL not understand my question?

Capacity is 500 so people can social distance, why if the 500 people are couples is it more dangerous? 500 people in a shop are 500 people?

user1471447863 · 10/11/2020 14:34

@Bookworming

The shop wont be at full capacity all day but the footfall due to unnecessary hangers on will make it higher than it would otherwise be.
Do YOU not get that?

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