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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at people shopping in families/couples?

875 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 08/11/2020 16:37

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.

Now I totally respect that in certain circumstances there has to be exceptions to this rule e.g. for lone parents, shopping with a vulnerable person etc.

However, there were a huge number of large families (with both parents) shopping today, lots and lots of couples (young/middle-aged) etc.

Why are so many people blatantly ignoring the guidance?

OP posts:
Ednafrommooneyponds · 09/11/2020 22:47

DP and I go together. At the moment for both of us it's usually the only time we see another person apart from each other (we live fairly rurally). I don't trust his fruit and veg buying and, as I don't eat it, he doesn't trust my meat buying. We go in the evenings and since March haven't seen a queue.

NeedWineNow · 09/11/2020 22:50

@amispeakingenglish

Really? I queried the idea of someone considering shopping together as 'clingy controlling and weird' - nothing more.

lovepickledlimes · 09/11/2020 22:53

DP and I shop together. We don't have a car so need to do one big food shop that is usually 5 big shopping bags. It would not be fair for one of us to try manage that on our own.

Then also both me and DP can be picky with the food. It usually takes going to the supermarket and seeing what they have for us to make up our minds what we will have for dinner that week.

Also we both have foods only one of us likes where the other would just not know what to get.

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 23:05

I guess it's clear from this thread that a huge amount of people are choosing to ignore the guidance. Of course (as I said very clearly in my initial post) there are those with legitimate reasons. But it is clear that there are also many that just don't want to comply.
Let's see what happens on 2nd December. I'm actually more than happy to have my kids at home and confident in home-schooling so that part of it won't be an issue for me if/when it becomes necessary.

OP posts:
lovepickledlimes · 09/11/2020 23:10

@Nicknamegoeshere as long as it is not against the rules people are free to shop as a group

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 09/11/2020 23:11

With the amount of shopping I buy on one supermarket trip there's not a cat in hell's chance I'm doing it alone. DH and I always shop together because it's just too much work for one person.

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 23:12

@lovepickledlimes Do you write this with sarcasm?!

OP posts:
lovepickledlimes · 09/11/2020 23:14

@Nicknamegoeshere no I was not. As long as the shop allows people from the same household to shop together there is no issue with people doing that

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 23:21

@lovepickledlimes Because it increases the rate / risk of Covid transmission to do so? Hence the "Shop alone whenever possible" guidance.
I wonder how many people on here that ignore this guidance simply because "It's not the law" have lost a loved one from the virus?

OP posts:
SakiSiam · 09/11/2020 23:35

'I care because I work in a supermarket home shopping. Trying to doge endless families and get round them to pick the shopping is a nightmare. Listening to endless tantrums isn't my idea of fun either.'

I appreciate how annoying this would be (and the risk to health), but one of my complaints about supermarkets had been the increasing numbers over time of, largely, youngsters, gathering in the aisles with their carts for the online shoppers. I would be trying to reach a single item, going around the one-way system, and have to go around again, whilst they were side by side chatting, blocking the shelves, and not wearing masks. Great that more young people are able to get employment due to the rise of supermarket online shopping, but I'm glad they also now have to wear masks, as it makes me feel safer. Also, if the supermarket wasn't 'real', as well as virtual, you may not have a job. Also, I doubt very much supermarkets would survive if they only catered to people who are single.

On a side note; since the mask wearing for customers in shops was brought in, I've only once seen (apart from very young children) someone not wearing a mask in a shop. He was a young man and actually he made me realise, hey, if you're not wearing a mask and everybody else is you've probably got good reason. As long as I'm doing all I can to protect my family and myself I'll not worry about you. Maybe I'm lucky, as so many people comment that 'everybody's' flouting the rules, so everybody should be locked up, but I live in a city, not a rural area, so I doubt my experience is not the norm.

MrsMomoa · 09/11/2020 23:38

Why didn't the government make it the law then?
Rather than guidance?

Sparklingbrook · 09/11/2020 23:51

@MrsMomoa

Why didn't the government make it the law then? Rather than guidance?
The government didn’t make it guidance that’s being done by the shops themselves in an effort to keep people safe. Although it seems some shops can’t be bothered with it. I know shops around here are and they ideally want one trolley to one person. Where possible.
SakiSiam · 09/11/2020 23:52

Just to add, in the space of a week this month two individuals were observed jumping into the river that runs through our city. First one a woman around 11am; she's not been found, second one a young man midday who was luckily pulled out by someone working there who saw it happen. We've had many drownings in our river, but this seems different. The fact that we're building a timebomb to add to the mental health issues people already have, without the resources to deal with it, is pretty horrifying. I certainly don't think it helps individuals when they're being watched and judged without any idea whatsoever of what they're going through.

Ineke · 10/11/2020 00:30

Lucyk1 if that is your attitude then all I can say is you have been lucky, so far. I don't think there are many who would agree with you that this is a silly virus with silly rules, nearly 50,000 people have died a very nasty and horrible death from it.

Rosebel · 10/11/2020 01:24

Wonder how all the people ignoring the guidelines will feel when we are locked down over Christmas. Of course some people will say it doesn't affect them or they don't care but what about others who do care?
My parents are in their late 70s, they aren't going to live forever and I'd like to spend time with them while I can. However I can't because so many people have just decided the rules don't apply to them. Perhaps we should just close the shops.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/11/2020 06:37

@Rosebel close the shops? How will people get food? Hmm

jentinquarantino20 · 10/11/2020 06:41

If you have a genuine reason why someone needs to be with you or you them fair enough, otherwise it’s just weird and clingy as stated before

Calmandmeasured1 · 10/11/2020 06:46

IT IS NOT GOVT GUIDANCE TO SHOP ALONE.

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 06:58

@Calmandmeasured1

IT IS NOT GOVT GUIDANCE TO SHOP ALONE.
IT IS THE GUIDANCE OF SOME SHOPS THAT WANT TO TRY AND DO THEIR BIT TO HELP KEEP THEIR CUSTOMERS AND STAFF SAFE. Smile
Feministicon · 10/11/2020 06:58

@Rosebel

Wonder how all the people ignoring the guidelines will feel when we are locked down over Christmas. Of course some people will say it doesn't affect them or they don't care but what about others who do care? My parents are in their late 70s, they aren't going to live forever and I'd like to spend time with them while I can. However I can't because so many people have just decided the rules don't apply to them. Perhaps we should just close the shops.
Don’t be ridiculous
Bluesheep8 · 10/11/2020 07:06

Why does a couple need to go shopping together? It’s clingy, controlling and weird

I have problems with both shoulders and my right arm (frozen shoulder and impingement) I need DP to reach things for me and help pack the shopping at the end. Clingy,controlling weirdo that I am.

Emma1234567 · 10/11/2020 07:18

I go shopping with my DH and 3 DC’s.

  1. It saves us time - this weekend I shopped for kids clothes whilst my DH got the food
  2. We both want to browse to pick up things we might not have thought of, no sense in him driving there coming back and then me driving back out
  3. Seeing as everything else is now shut it is something for the kids to do! They chose some pudsey ears for children in need and sat in the trolley eating some fruit! Very happy!

4/5 times my DH goes shopping on his own when kids are bed but every now and then we all want to go!

Anyone that is that bothered by people in supermarkets should either shop online, click and collect or shop late at night (after kids are in bed) otherwise relax and mind your own business!

Kcar · 10/11/2020 07:19

Just for the record. You do know there are other parts of the UK with different rules?

Not everywhere has non-essential shops closed and not everywhere has an end date of 2nd December.

So saying “let’s see what happens on 2 December” doesn’t apply to everyone.

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 07:22

I don’t think now is the time for browsing or going to the supermarket for something for the kids to do.
As for being ‘bothered by people in supermarkets’ then yes that’s because there’s a pandemic on believe it or not.
I do agree that late night shopping is better but since this lockdown delivery and click and collect slots are like gold dust.

Sparklingbrook · 10/11/2020 07:24

@Kcar

Just for the record. You do know there are other parts of the UK with different rules?

Not everywhere has non-essential shops closed and not everywhere has an end date of 2nd December.

So saying “let’s see what happens on 2 December” doesn’t apply to everyone.

You can only expect posters to comment based on where they are. 🤷‍♀️