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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Are you really following lockdown rules?

490 replies

CoronaOneSoz · 08/11/2020 13:36

I work and kids are at school but I've been following the lockdown rules. Not met anyone. I know I could bubble up as I'm a single parent. Anyway i spoke to my sister and parents today and they have all met up together. Sister has 2 kids and a husband, the kids go to school and they both work. My parents are still relatively young and work, no health issues. They also still have my other sister at home who also works. I was abit shocked but they just laughed and said they don't care they will still meet up. I'm not pissed off I'm more disappointed with them. Aibu for feeling like that? Just been told I need to lighten up as i told them they are breaking the rules.

OP posts:
Isabelle99 · 08/11/2020 16:06

I am, I will admit that towards the end of the last lockdown I broke a few rules. But I’m prepared to follow the rules for these 4 weeks hoping that it keeps the cases down.

5zeds · 08/11/2020 16:06

I follow the rules as does everyone I know. A have a long school run and see very few people out and about. I think in the SW we are staying home.

frazzledquaver · 08/11/2020 16:07

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

PPs are commenting that the people in their immediate vicinity appear to be complying. I couldn't tell you what my neighbours were doing at gunpoint, and care less. The only one thing I do know is that I shall not be reporting anyone. A PP wrote:

I think everyone needs to stop concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing.

I am with you 100%. I also believe we would be in a far better place if we did this, COVID or no COVID.

The problem is that the rule breaking of some has a negative impact for everyone, by potentially increasing the need for an extension to lockdown putting a small business at breaking point, by causing a school bubble to close, by a child passing it asymptomatically at school causing long covid in a teacher or another parent, by delaying a medical examination which could have resulted in treatment because the GP isn't seeing anyone in person. In our area, the high infection rate doesn't seem to be caused by raving students, it's through schools and by small, "sort of but not quite in the rules" social events.
ThatWasThat · 08/11/2020 16:08

We wouldn't be in this position if we'd taken the right steps earlier. The more some people break the rules (or the longer the rules are not strict enough), the longer this will go on for and the more people will be harmed. There are probably some exceptions that we would all agree with, but most people breaking the rules are being selfish.

Generalconfusion · 08/11/2020 16:09

Nobody round here is following the rules. And with the daily mass gatherings that are schools, I can't say I blame them. It's a nonsense.

I am by default because I have no life though. Grin

laudemio · 08/11/2020 16:09

Yes, we are following the rules as is everyone we know.
People are even wearing masks outdoors here so they are taking it very seriously.

Rosehip10 · 08/11/2020 16:11

@Bluejewel There wasn't a "1 hour" exercise limit in the first lockdown anyway....

Ttrr11ffllee · 08/11/2020 16:11

Yes following the rules

No reason or lifestyle not to

Washimal · 08/11/2020 16:11

I think everyone needs to stop concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing.

I am trying to get into this mindset, for my own sanity. I work in a large secondary school, no SD, packed corridors and lots of kids refusing to wear masks or wearing them improperly. I am trying very hard not to think about the fact that no matter how careful I am, it's probably all for nothing as I am exposed to hundreds of families who will be doing exactly as they please with no regard for anyone else.

dreamingofsun · 08/11/2020 16:14

would be interesting to see if its the people breaking the rules are the ones saying that you shouldnt concern yourself with what others are doing.

Does this logic/view hold true for flouting all laws or just covid ones?

elfycat · 08/11/2020 16:14

I have a childcare bubble of a friend (A) who can drop off my daughter and a friend (B) who can pick them up. A and B work together, and their sons are in the same class at school (my daughter is in another class at the same school - it's why they're able to do school runs). A and B occasionally pick up and drop off for each other too with all 3 kids together.

I'm emergency childcare options for A and B as well as I'm self-employed/WFH and as long as it's not Covid would tuck an ill child up on a sofa and be able to keep an eye on them all day. It's a 3-way childcare bubble with 1.5 single parents (me half the time) and we're probably breaking the rules but it's quite tight and limited.

We're not meeting up for coffee around each others at the moment. But if this goes on all winter there might be the occasional adult-adult support meet-up.

And because of this I've seen my parents twice this year and have no plans to this winter even if lockdown ends in December. I feel I'm at the maximum of contacts to risk seeing them (healthy but over 70)

Inkpaperstars · 08/11/2020 16:15

I am following the rules and don't know anyone who is not, as far as I know.

It's easy to think we are all fine but asymptomatic spread will be occurring and if everyone just ignores the rules we will all pay. I would be disappointed to find out what you have too.

KittCat · 08/11/2020 16:16

Yes we are. We have formed a support bubble with Mil, who is single person household. None of us are mixing with anyone else. I'm wfh, as I'm CEV and dcs are home ed. DH lone works or wfh if someone else is going into the office. Apart from visiting Mil or outdoor exercise I don't go anywhere else.

PhilCornwall1 · 08/11/2020 16:17

Nope and bugger shielding too, I'm not going through that thanks.

BuggerationFlavouredCrisps · 08/11/2020 16:18

Following the rules here in Ireland as we’ve been on level 5 lockdown for longer than most of you guys. My DS has been off school for 2 weeks due to a case of Covid in the school and he’s not seen his pals so he’s looking forward to catching up properly tomorrow. He has played online with them so I think he could easily stay at home for longer and I’ll keep him off if there’s a hint of another case in the school.

In our local small town, only a few restaurants are opening for takeaways and my favourite coffee shop is takeaway only. The high street is more or less deserted most of the time with only a few people shopping at the butchers and the supermarket.

I haven’t seen anyone partying and none of my friends are breaking the rules here. We chat online and all just want to keep our heads down until the Spring, when I’m hoping the situation will have improved.

elfycat · 08/11/2020 16:19

I edited my post and took out that my husband works offshore for weeks at a time - so part time single parent. When he's back I don't need childcare, though I'm still available to help my friends with any emergency.

TisConfusion · 08/11/2020 16:19

We are following the rules. As are my family. DH has a friend who won’t follow the rules as he doesn’t believe in any of it. Our neighbours didn’t follow the rules last lockdown and they certainly aren’t this time (paper thin walls and front doors right next to each other so can hear all comings and goings - people visiting etc.) it’s up to them. I just want to be as safe as possible.

Hangingwithmygnomies · 08/11/2020 16:20

I was but my brother's partner took her own life last week so now I'm seeing my Mum and siblings so we can support each other and I don't give a flying fuck what other people have to say about it

Janegrey333 · 08/11/2020 16:20

Of course.

BawJaws · 08/11/2020 16:21

Well fucking hell, I’ve been following it all to the letter

As are my family and inlaws and most friends

What’s the point? I thought everybody was doing what we’re doing!!!!

BillysMyBunny · 08/11/2020 16:22

Breaking lockdown rules last time felt like a big no-no with only a minority of people I knew breaking them but this time it seems to be fairly widespread. Very few people I know are strictly following the rules and most seem to be picking and choosing which parts of the rules to follow. We were in Tier 3 lockdown before lockdown and nobody was strictly following the rules then either. I know a lot of people who are still seeing some members of their family or certain friends or have ‘bubbled’ with another household despite neither being a single adult household. This lockdown definitely doesn’t seem to be being taken as seriously as the first and I think a lot of people I know seem to be finding reasons they think their situation exempts them from following the rules.

I have followed the rules so far since lockdown but think this is easier for me as I have no family living close by who I miss seeing and my workplace (school) is fairly social. That said in half-term I admit I broke the Tier 3 rules more than once and met with friends when I shouldn’t have. I think it’s unnatural to socially isolate from close friends/ family for so long and with so many contradicting/ ever-changing rules along with those in positions of power repeatedly being seen ignoring the rules it makes it hard to truly invest in doing the lawful thing.

Crinkle77 · 08/11/2020 16:22

I currently live with my mother and meet up with one friend from another household but that's it. At times I need to escape and see someone else socially otherwise I'd go mad. Apart from that sticking to the rules.

Lovemusic33 · 08/11/2020 16:22

I don’t know many people who are sticking to the rules, most people have at least broken one?

I haven’t met up with anyone other than my mum (my bubble) but I expect my dad will turn up at my house later, he doesn’t live with my mum so is not in my bubble. Idea.Lymes I don’t want him here but then I think I’m already in contact with so many others through my dc who are at 2 different schools and through work. It kind of feels a bit pointless saying I can’t see my dad for half an hour a week.

PaddingtonStareBare · 08/11/2020 16:23

We are, DD is at school but she keeps her distance where she can, changes her mask twice a day and routinely sanitisers her hands. She has asked to be sat up the front next to a window, I explained she'll be cold but she is fine as she wears thermals, wrist warmers and thermal leggings under her trousers and tells me she is nice and toasty.
I'm WFH, all food is delivered and DH works outside anyway and won't go in people's houses.

My sibling on the other hand, is visiting all and sundry, her in laws 'can't bare to be separated from the children (their grown children theybare referring too)' and the thrice weekly dinner at the inlaws (yes you read that right THREE times a week) is still happening as it did before. If someone doesn't attend, they have to be near death or have a Very Good Excuse, FIL is a police officer and MIL an intensive care nurse. Confused
Says it all really.

carcarbinks · 08/11/2020 16:24

Yes I'm following the rules. Disappointing that so many people aren't.