To wonder if most men are only as faithful as their options?

[Cara1986]

Just that really.. not a current issue for me in the present moment but have experienced it in the past and now have friends going through it, and see the constant posts on here too.. seems to be the case?

Are most men only as faithful as the options presented to them? Are men who would turn down a very attractive/fun/interesting/interested woman hitting on them (when they aren't free and single) in the minority?

I know many men may not go chasing for it, but I wonder if it's a much smaller percentage who would actively turn it down if it was handed to them on a plate.

@VioletSunset

That sucks for him hopefully he's moved on now though and is happy again.

Men cheat more but lots of women cheat as well, and it varies by age and socioeconomic factors as well.

ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

I know this study was done in the US but I wouldn't expect it to be vastly different in the UK.

YABU. I’ve only met one man in my 50 years that has cheated on me. I know plenty of women who have cheated,

I used to travel a lot for work. If I chose to have supper in the restaurant or a drink in the bar, I would get approached & they would invariably be married. I ate mostly in my room...
Men I have dated & male friends are all the faithful type as are the partners/husbands of my friends so I was pretty shocked at the behaviour of these men in the hotels! Obviously there were plenty of men, both married & single, that didn't try to chat me up (!) but it was only the married ones that did.

I have been friends with DH since childhood we didn't get together until mid/late twenties, I saw him have several mid and long term relationships, I also saw women 'over it on a plate' as you put it, he never cheated, so I have no reason to believe he would cheat on me as the only person he chose to marry and have children with, if he wasn't willing to cheat on a girlfriend who was at another uni when he was 19 and had plenty of opportunity to. I don't think all men would cheat given the opportunity, but the macho kind that love their ego being stroked, almost definitely IME. I'd expect similar of a woman with that personality type though.

No, I don't think it's true that most men will cheat if the opportunity arises.

I think there area certain number of people like that, for sure. I know more women that fit that description, though that is likely because I know more intimate details about women that I know than about the men that I know.

I do think that most people, under the right circumstances, would cheat. It might only be very unlikely or rare circumstances, but if they arose, many people would do it. Mind you, I kind of think the same about murder and stealing.

I'd also saw one of the biggest contributors to casual unplanned cheating is probably alcohol consumption.

Based on that, we could just easily make the conclusion that you think every man will fall at your feet dying to be with you

Based on that, actually, we could make the case that men really don't care where they put it as long as they put it somewhere that isn't the wife. I have no illusions about my attractiveness or lack of, but I've been very surprised (and a little disappointed because my innocent heart would like people to be faithful to each other) at how keen they are, and how undiscriminating.

@Cara1986

Just that really.. not a current issue for me in the present moment but have experienced it in the past and now have friends going through it, and see the constant posts on here too.. seems to be the case?

Are most men only as faithful as the options presented to them? Are men who would turn down a very attractive/fun/interesting/interested woman hitting on them (when they aren't free and single) in the minority?

I know many men may not go chasing for it, but I wonder if it's a much smaller percentage who would actively turn it down if it was handed to them on a plate.

Absolutely. Of course you'll get mass denial on here, but ask any group of men if they would cheat without consequences they would do so in a heartbeat.

Well I've never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of) however I think most men would be tempted if say a Victoria's Secret offered them sex that would never be discovered. Likewise I & others would seriously be tempted if Tom Hardy offered himself up.

@Hailtomyteeth

Saying "if he thinks he can get his cock in somewhere he will" is an insult to decent men and they are not an exception. If you have never met a decent man then I feel sorry for you

Feel as sorry as you like. Introduce me to your husband and I'll let you know when he tries it on, with me or with someone else. You're being naive (and patronising, but we'll overlook that one) if you think anything other.

I know for absolutely certain that my husband would not touch you with a barge pole no matter how attractive you are.

I am not naive in the slightest. I know my husband would not cheat. You can believe it or not I really could not care less and yes I feel sorry for you.

In fact with this nasty post I feel even more sorry for you. Maybe you have never met a decent man because you are not a very nice person/

@shamalidacdak
Absolutely. Of course you'll get mass denial on here, but ask any group of men if they would cheat without consequences they would do so in a heartbeat.

Another bullshit statement. I know plenty of men who would not cheat even if they knew they could get away with it.

So many man haters here. Maybe if you had married a nice man with some morals who would not cheat you would not be so bitter

I’m not a man hater

I don’t make statements that cheaters are awful people as I don’t think that’s true

I just accept men and women are different and that the majority of men can totally detach themselves from emotion so sex with strangers or sex with someone else than the person they love isn’t an issue for them

@ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN

I’m not a man hater

I don’t make statements that cheaters are awful people as I don’t think that’s true

I just accept men and women are different and that the majority of men can totally detach themselves from emotion so sex with strangers or sex with someone else than the person they love isn’t an issue for them

How on earth could you know they wouldn't cheat?

I usually travel 2 weeks out of 8 with work (obviously not at the moment). Lots of colleagues also travel with work regularly as do contractors we work with. Out of all the times we’ve travelled I’ve only twice known someone to cheat while on business trips. Where we go it would be very, very easy for anyone to cheat. The hotel bar is regularly visited by very pretty, very young women who chat up the male tourists. Some of them are escorts and some of them seem to just be looking for a regular business traveller to be their boyfriend. One of the cheating instances was an older colleague having a long running relationship with a woman 20+ years his junior and eventually splitting from his wife and marrying her. The other had a ONS with someone from the office we were visiting while with the woman he eventually married. They’d been having issues at the time, he was planning to split up with her. He got drunk, flirted throughout the night with said colleague and then went home with her. I knew about it as the two of us had gone out for the obligatory team dinner the last night and eaten together in/around the hotel every other night. Neither of them are awful people and I don’t think you’d have expected the second one to cheat. He definitely didn’t feel good about it afterwards and I think it only happened due to the opportunity to cheat with someone he quite liked with no chance of his girlfriend finding out arising right as his relationship hit a rocky patch. I imagine many people both male & female might cheat in those circumstances. When travelling lots of businessmen at various hotels have come and talked to my colleagues and I. Even when I was young, attractive and alone I very rarely thought they were trying to hit on me. Most just were a bit bored and lonely. On the other hand we’ve also seen a good number of (always older) business men wearing wedding rings in the bar with escorts. So my experience has very much been that most men are not only as faithful as their options but some men cheat for various reasons and some habitually use escorts. We know they are escorts as they propositioned some of the men we were travelling with (one of whom subsequently refused to go back to the bar on his own as he said it made his skin crawl having someone who looked close in age to his daughter trying to flirt with him and offer various services)

I have been cheated on, however I don't think that women and men are that different tbh. After all, these men aren't all cheating with exclusively single women. My ex's OW was in a relationship during their affair.

Yanbu
I thought my dh would never cheat and he did. With an unattractive, older, fatter woman. Those who say their husbands never would, I hope you’re right.

Excuse me while I laugh a lot, @lynsey91.

I'm adorable. Sweet, not mean, and I don't try to be unkind to people - even to people I know won't care. I even turn away lovely husbands and send them back to their wives.

You have a lot to learn.

@Happymum12345

Yanbu I thought my dh would never cheat and he did. With an unattractive, older, fatter woman. Those who say their husbands never would, I hope you’re right.

I definitely am right thank you

@Hailtomyteeth

Excuse me while I laugh a lot, *@lynsey91*.

I'm adorable. Sweet, not mean, and I don't try to be unkind to people - even to people I know won't care. I even turn away lovely husbands and send them back to their wives.

You have a lot to learn.

Do you really think ALL men would cheat. If so I think it is you who has a lot to learn.

So kind of you to turn away husbands but you obviously meet shit husbands. Quite likely the wives of those husbands are cheating anyway

Why would you be able to make any man have sex with you? Do you really think you are that stunning?

As I am in my 60's it's a bit late if I did still have a lot to learn but I know I don't. I know not all men cheat or would cheat. Some would, it may even be quite a lot but certainly not all

Am I in the minority that think not all men are like this? I don't believe every man would taken offer given a chance. I know some really decent men and they wouldn't do this.
Same for some women I know who would also not take up an offer.

I think YABU to say 99%. I'm sure the majority would be flattered and maybe tempted but I don't think such a high proportion would actually cheat.

I think certain circumstances make it easier to cheat, eg travelling a lot with work, but that is equally true of men and women.

I think my bloke would cheat if he had an offer from someone he fancied and could get away with it. Ex-husband would have too.

I know more unfaithful women than men, and I know lots of people in open relationships who are happier. Sex=/= a relationship. All genders have urges and temptations.

What a sad view. Of course you see it here a lot, you are hardly likely to get women starting threads about their partners if they're happy.

I used to think the same as half the women on here, thought my husband was my best friend, we were a strong family unit, that marriage and the daily grind wasn’t always easy but we were doing ok and would always be together, and he would never cheat. Until I found the texts.

Being a newly divorced woman was a real eye opener as to what men are really like. But I’m now happy on a relationship and love my new partner. Really enjoying life with him but I will never 100% trust any partner again.

It’s not just men who cheat but men are definitely more predatory, even ones you wouldn’t expect to be. Ive experienced this on nights out and when travelling for work - there are a fair few married men out there who shamelessly pursue sex if they can get away with it.