DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

I love wrapping with Kings carols and a large glass of something.

I love wrapping with Kings carols and a large glass of something.

MrsMiaWallis Same here!!

I have a wrapping afternoon around a week before christmas.
I light some candles, some christmas music, a glass of something alcoholic. It's a day I look forward to!

cheeta my family love having me around to enjoy things with them. Especially my dc. The 'prolonged' christmas feeling is fabulous, and I am not sure why anyone wants to stress about deliveries turning up or actual shopping in December. I leave my cards to December because I enjoy writing them in front of the tree, and with a christmas film on, but otherwise we are done. I have a huge family, lots of friends to buy for - it is a big job and one that is best done early.

If you want to fight out in December go ahead, but it is not for me. I don't find shopping in December very civilised to be honest.

Tell him you've already got his presents. Simple.

Usually DH and I will have a Saturday night out in December and do the wrapping on the Sunday morning while kids are at Grannies. But that doesn't mean to say kids gifts aren't bought long before then.

If it helps last year I bought my son a whole load of branded clothes only for him to declare he has gone off that certain brand and now likes it rival . I'd also done it all in November . I was fuming . Defo lesson learnt .

I'm very impressed at your organisation! The only person I've done so far is my mum, and she's super easy because she only ever wants bath bubbles!

I can't believe more people aren't saying this, but couldn't you help him write the list and "guide" him a bit?? Like "oh remember you said you'd like X, or we saw Y in that shop"... with things that are already on the list. If he says "oh no I've gone off X" then return that!

^I meant with things you've already bought sorry

I have bought early for my DC (almost completely done now, just a few bath bits and edible treats to get) but they are very small.

It would be nice to return some stuff and get him a couple of things on his list.

Please don't feel obligated to buy him everything off his list. He is old enough to understand a bit about money and to appreciate that his list costs more money. If he were yet own DC you wouldn't be spending so much so you need to be able to do the same for step DC.

Alternatively, you could subtly try to draw his interests to the things you have bought.

Surely his DM will be getting some presents off his list?

05th November? Blimey, I can't even tell DH what I want for MY Christmas so early, let alone my kids. I finish my shopping by the 1st of December but

First, can't you actually look at the list he wrote and go from there?
It's nice to have things they asked for, and surprises.

God Britain is a depressing place. In other countries, 10 year olds are still children and lots of them write letters to Santa, and believe in it all. It's only in the UK they are ridiculed for it by grown adults with no joy in their souls.

I don’t think you’ve been quick off the mark, like you I’m also done. I get mine to do theirs in September and tell them there is a cut off and the sooner they get their lists in the better chance they get what they want.

I tell them every year to have back up ideas in case Santa can’t get what they want. This years I’ve told them it’s even harder as Santa and his elves havnt been able to work during lockdown so won’t be able to deliver as much as usual and they will be focusing on children whose parents can buy them things. At 8 & 6 they fully understand.

So, he's not done the list yet but you anticipate that he won't put on the things you've bought?

I used to do the same OP and buy things I was sure my DC would like even though they never knew if asked. If they wanted to write a list, I's subtly mention some things I'd already bought and they'd excitedly add them to the list.

The best compliment I ever got was when my son told me that Santa always seems to buy him exactly what he wanted even though he didn't know what he wanted until he opened the present... :o

I'm sure he'll be delighted by whatever he gets and if he is already getting his main thing and the thing he mentioned, I think if you manage to swap one thing you have for something on the list or encourage him to put something on his list that you already have, then he will be chuffed I'm sure.

@WhatATimeToBeAlive

Tell him you've already got his presents. Simple.

That would be mean, esp in the current climate when kids have had a shit year.

I'd definitely try to hit a middle ground

I love Christmas and the spirit of it, I spend months planning to make it magical; but 10 is approaching secondary school age! I don't have a clear transition memory of not believing in Father christmas because it was equally magical both with and without belief in him.

One of my fondest memories is actually me and my sister and my mum getting ourselves laughing because my mum had tripped over trying to sneak the sacks in and landed on my bed

Christmas spirit and magic and joy is more about belief that a bearded man is going to leave presents for you.

In any case how depressing, these uptight posters who have “done and dusted” Christmas before it’s even started. I suspect strong correlation between ridiculously-early preparation and liking artificial trees with coordinated baubles. Christmas is supposed (for children) to be magical. Some people think Christmas is just another thing to be Marie Kondod to death.

How an earth have you connected early preparation to people being ‘uptight’ Marie Kondo and artificial trees? Also what’s wrong with people having artificial trees? You seem hideously snobby.

You’re reaching so much I’m surprised you’ve not dislocated something . .

I get mine to do theirs in September

I am for being organised but SEPTEMBER?! No wonder people get so stressed about Christmas if they make such a humongous deal about it.
Many of us have barely booked the October half-term holiday in September, so blooming Christmas!

I get mine to do theirs in September and tell them there is a cut off and the sooner they get their lists in the better chance they get what they want.
At 8 & 6 they fully understand.

At 8 and 6 it's unlikely what they want will change between September and December. At 10, what's "cool" in September, may not be so by Christmas. This is partly a case of the OP not realising she needs to adapt to her step son getting older.

I wouldn’t change what you have. You can always get Him stuff from his list for his birthday. I do this with mine, they always appreciate what they get though.. not sure what your DSS is like.

I honestly had no idea that there would be a list.

But you’ve been together with his dad for years - you’ve got younger DC together.

So what happened in previous years?

Most odd.

Surely most parents just look at the list and say I’ll pass it on to Santa and he’ll do his best. I remember one year my daughters really wanted Hatchimals but they were sold out everywhere, so they had to wait until the next year. You can also suggest buying it in the sales with their Christmas money if they are disappointed on the day.

I would say don't worry. I have done our shopping for Christmas as we have a boxing day birthday too so I have to be organised. My kids have learnt that sometimes mummy buys "cooler" gifts that they haven't asked for on their list and now add that at the bottom!
I often pass on the items on any lists to friends and family and get completely different stuff which they love even more.
This year my 13 year old has ear buds and tickets to a concert for her birthday/Christmas presents from us. Certainly not on her list and she doesn't even know about the concert at all! But I know she will absolutely love them.
Sometimes you know what they would want but they don't know it to put it on a list so don't worry, I'm sure he will love what you have got him.

@NoSquirrels

I honestly had no idea that there would be a list.

But you’ve been together with his dad for years - you’ve got younger DC together.

So what happened in previous years?

Most odd.

How do you know they’ve been together years? Maybe they have baby twins and only just moved in together. 🤔

Possible, Nikori, but quite unlikely I’d have thought!

I get DD to write her list in October so father christmas has time to select what he would like to bring in the stocking and pass the rest to family to 'maybe' select from. Itrs a wish list not a set of demands.

And yes I have already bought everything. Haven't wrapped it though as I like to do it late at night when the tree is up and I am earing chocs and watching an xmas film on my own.