To be worried my daughter is never going to progress

[Noplans2020]

Had the first parents evening tonight of year one. DD is five and only did half of reception due to covid! She has also isolated for two weeks so only did five weeks of this term. So missed a quarter of this term.

In reception both parents evenings were about her struggling to understand instructions such as go to your peg etc. She needed alot of guidance. But the second parents evening was a little improved. They also said she just wasn't quite ready for the work side of it. I got her hearing and eyes tested ten months ago as requested by the school. All was fine.

So over lockdown I've taught her to write different size words and read up to four letter words. She's writing beautifully at home. Great at lists. Always drawing. Able to write some words now with no guidance. Also her behaviour and stuff is so much better. She takes herself to bed now when it's time. She listens and behaves. She's helpful. She is really independent. Caring. Really interested in learning. She loves one on one for learning.

Teacher calls tonight. Says she finds someone to play with everyday and is happy. She said that's all they can ask for at this point. She then asked if we had any concerns. I asked how she was doing as she had support last year and was struggling abit with certain parts. Then the teacher spent the final 7 minutes of the chat focused on the same things as her last teacher. Is it her hearing? Do we have concerns at home? Apparently if she asks her to go to her tray she doesn't do it straight away. It's like she doesn't grasp it apparently still. Also when she's asked to copy of the board she will do her own thing. She sent me a piece of work and apparently wanted to show me because it was very creative. It was a whole page of letters and no obvious words. She then said she was supposed to copy three little sentances of the board but did that instead. She said she wasn't sure how to help her understand but said she would keep an eye and write anything in the book if she's concerned and wants to discuss it.

Anyway. Third parents evening. Same problems. No better a year on.

I've done everything I can. As far as I knew she was able to do these things. I'm always writing words for her to copy. Always doing work with her at home. I read with her. She has a tablet with learning games. She writes, colours, cuts and paints at home.

I just don't know why she can't follow what she needs to be doing?

I'm worried she's just not ready for the environment. Yet she loves going.

Any advice?

Could it be hearing/processing in situations with a noisy background that is the 'issue' for her?

I’m going to retract what I said actually, because @Witchend has made such a good point. All context aside (pandemic, lost schooling) the teacher is saying your DD isn’t like her peers. I can say with the benefit of hindsight that it’s worth listening to. My daughter’s Reception teacher was a little baffled by her inability to “do” free play when she was five. Fast forward four years and she’s on the waiting list for an autism assessment. Clearly, the teacher saw something different even if no one could pin down what it was then.

I also have a younger child with SEN and wasted time listening to lovely, well meaning people who told me not to worry because he would catch up. Nope.

If I’ve learned anything it’s to take all help offered and try to ignore that voice telling you if you wait long enough, things will resolve by themselves. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t.

What you said about her being able to work fine at home stands out. It might be that she has sensory issues that are exacerbated by the school environment. Home is quiet and it’s easy to concentrate. School is noisy and busy and bright.

I’m going to retract what I said actually, because @Witchend has made such a good point. All context aside (pandemic, lost schooling) the teacher is saying your DD isn’t like her peers. I can say with the benefit of hindsight that it’s worth listening to. My daughter’s Reception teacher was a little baffled by her inability to “do” free play when she was five. Fast forward four years and she’s on the waiting list for an autism assessment. Clearly, the teacher saw something different even if no one could pin down what it was then.

I also have a younger child with SEN and wasted time listening to lovely, well meaning people who told me not to worry because he would catch up. Nope.

If I’ve learned anything it’s to take all help offered and try to ignore that voice telling you if you wait long enough, things will resolve by themselves. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t.

What you said about her being able to work fine at home stands out. It might be that she has sensory issues that are exacerbated by the school environment. Home is quiet and it’s easy to concentrate. School is noisy and busy and bright.

To those that have suggested she may have an ‘auditory processing issue’... do you know what this actually is? OP hasn’t mentioned anything to suggest she may have one.
As for hearing... glue ear can come and go, it could be worth getting another check to ensure she doesn’t have a temporary issue that hasn’t just happened.
I would also ask for SLT referral to assess her receptive language skills.

It’s a bit strange for the current year 1 class, as they have missed out on a lot of the early learning stages, and kids at this age can be deliberately awkward when asked to do something by the teacher. If she is one of the younger ones in the class, or an only child, this can also have some impact on behaviour. I wouldn’t worry too much at this age, she is only 5 and all kids develop at their own pace, not by a text book saying what they should be doing.

i really would not worry- she is only 5 years old. Lots of countries start schooling later.

DD1 was struggling with reading in G1. Then suddenly (maybe 3/4 way through), it seemed to click. She is a prolific reader and has a great vocabulary. I think sometimes little kids (they are little) just work at different paces. Don't worry if you see a different take to the teacher.

The school sounds awful, could you home educate her?

To those that have suggested she may have an ‘auditory processing issue’... do you know what this actually is?

Well, yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have suggested it!

The school sounds awful, could you home educate her?

are they cueing her in with her name? if not ask them to try that.

I wouldn't be too concerned as this stage tbh, she has missed a lot in her first year so she really hasn't had a proper induction on how to be schooled. My dc was still hiding under tables in p2. My dc does have sn and didn't learn to read or write in some way due to it but in a lot of ways it was clear she also just didn't want to. When she finally did decide she wanted to read and write she improved in leaps, she doesn't have a learning disability at all but is a couple years behind her peers. I am not too worried, it is what it is and she will do it when she wants to.

To those that have suggested she may have an ‘auditory processing issue’... do you know what this actually is?

Well, yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have suggested it!

i really would not worry- she is only 5 years old. Lots of countries start schooling later.

DD1 was struggling with reading in G1. Then suddenly (maybe 3/4 way through), it seemed to click. She is a prolific reader and has a great vocabulary. I think sometimes little kids (they are little) just work at different paces. Don't worry if you see a different take to the teacher.

Hi op. My ds has been referred to speech and language. It was my health visitor that made the referral so may be an option for you. Obviously each area is different but from the initial referral I had a letter through within 2 weeks for his 1st appointment. Unfortunately here they aren't doing face to face at the moment but telephone instead. From the initial referral to the phone appointment was only 5 weeks but I had been told to expect to wait a lot longer.

APD isMore typically it would be problems listening in background noise and attending to sounds. If the teacher is speaking one to one in a quiet room them auditory processing shouldn’t be much of an issue. Although it is reasonably common and many children outgrow it.

Hi op. My ds has been referred to speech and language. It was my health visitor that made the referral so may be an option for you. Obviously each area is different but from the initial referral I had a letter through within 2 weeks for his 1st appointment. Unfortunately here they aren't doing face to face at the moment but telephone instead. From the initial referral to the phone appointment was only 5 weeks but I had been told to expect to wait a lot longer.

I think, jmo, that the teachers are under pressure to have all the children behaving and doing the same thing at the same age. IMO your daughter seems fine, and she's happy. I would probably ignore the teachers for now. 5 year olds are not robots - I would say that a certain percentage are doing what they are asked, and the rest aren't. Personally I think the system is way too prescribed for this age - surely all the learning should be through play? Is that not the curriculum? I think the teachers are under pressure to have the children "perform" and meet certain arbitrary set standards. Honestly she sounds adorable, and I'd just be encouraging her if I were you. I would probably not even mention the teachers comments. The last thing you want to do is dent her confidence and happiness. She'll learn soon enough to follow the instructions. It would be different if you were having similar problems at home. Honestly, your dd sounds just gorgeous - enjoy her :)

When she is at home she is 1-1 with no distractions
At school there are loads of distractions for her to cope with. I would focus on reading to her and listening to her read simple books at home. In time she will learn not to allow herself to be distracted. She has loads of time.

is the teacher experienced would you say? is it a very 'academic' school. honestly the more I think about it the more I think it's all very 'normal' for a 5 year old

just thinking now, at 5 (different country) my dc were still tracing out letters the size of an A4 page - the teacher (or curriculum) sound pretty advanced for age 5, expecting them to copy down sentences. I'd concentrate on the positives - she loves writing letters, and it's fun for her, honestly I wouldn't change a thing

It could also be she’s struggling with processing the request due to noise levels etc in class

I was going to suggest this.

When my DD had weekly spellings and got some wrong that age got right at home I became concerned.

It happened a few times and I spoke to the teacher, as I couldn't understand why.

The teacher explained that different tables within the class were given different spellings, so the kids had to keep up with what the teacher was saying...so table 1 please spell xxxx, table 2 spell yyyy and it would keep going round like that.

It required concentration to hear when your table was called and DD was easily distracted.

I also took her for a hearing test and all was fine...this happened when she was in year 2. She's now in her final year at University, so please don't worry aboutyour DD not making progress....

The classroom can be noisy, unlike your calm home environment.

My DSis was very behind at school- always in the bottom set, behind other children and quite a low IQ.

Sadly it turned out she likely was damaged in utero by my DM’s epilepsy medication.

However, in her 20s she passed GCSE level maths and went to university- she’s now a nurse with great opportunities ahead.

Whatever happens, please don’t despair. Most children end up doing perfectly well by the time they grow up. Please don’t let her grow up feeling like you’re disappointed in her, or are frustrated with her. I’m sure she’s trying her best.

I think, jmo, that the teachers are under pressure to have all the children behaving and doing the same thing at the same age. IMO your daughter seems fine, and she's happy. I would probably ignore the teachers for now. 5 year olds are not robots - I would say that a certain percentage are doing what they are asked, and the rest aren't. Personally I think the system is way too prescribed for this age - surely all the learning should be through play? Is that not the curriculum? I think the teachers are under pressure to have the children "perform" and meet certain arbitrary set standards. Honestly she sounds adorable, and I'd just be encouraging her if I were you. I would probably not even mention the teachers comments. The last thing you want to do is dent her confidence and happiness. She'll learn soon enough to follow the instructions. It would be different if you were having similar problems at home. Honestly, your dd sounds just gorgeous - enjoy her :)