And how no one seems to be able to accept that everyone's situation is different.
All you ever seem to hear is the constant trotting out of 'love like your own', 'they are your children too now', 'what if they were your biological children' etc...
I'm so sick of the rigid expectations people put on (mainly) women step parents without any appreciation for the fact that it isn't usually solely down to the step parent how the relationship turns out.
You see people talking about how SMs should leave everything equally in their wills for example because 'you're a family now', or acting like it's a cardinal sin if a woman admits she finds her SC hard to deal with or doesn't love them as much as her own children.
The amount of times I see ex wives and step mothers being played off against each other is maddening, almost as maddening as how often the step mother falls into the trap of doing all the shit work so Dad doesn't have to.
People act like it's impossible to be a good person and even a good step mother unless you absolutely 100% dote on the children and love them unconditionally and provide for them exactly as you would your own (always financially obviously) but in the same breath expect you not to step on anyone's toes, back off, don't get too involved.
And the 'what if they were your kids' argument really winds me up. Because it's totally irrelevant. They aren't the step parents child and in lots of circumstances where there are two involved parents, you can't always treat them like your own child because you don't have the parental responsibility, or level of control that a parent would have, you don't always get to make the decisions.
Some of the things I see on here and on other platforms is just ludicrous. A step mother was told yesterday on a thread I read that she shouldn't have a pic of her own DC and her husband as her own phone screensaver for Godsake... 
Not everyone is in the situation where they have raised step children since 1 years old where they don't see the other parent and you've had to step in and be that person. Lots of people are just trying to navigate a minefield with two involved parents and all the different dynamics that can bring.
You don't need to love your step children like your own children, you don't need to sit in a room sobbing when they leave until they return, you don't need to leave to them equally in your will, you don't need to think everything they do is lovely and perfect, you don't need to accept shit treatment from their parents, you can do things with your own DC, you can have bloody pictures of your own children and so on... Providing you don't stand in the way of contact, are welcoming and friendly why is that not enough? Why do people insist on pressurising (mainly) women in this way?