to hate this house so much

[venus9150]

We moved into an old end terraced property a year ago. It's lovely and big, quirky, our neighbours are fantastic and at the time I loved it. Over the last year that has soured dramatically. Our previous house was built in the 1980s, it was cramped and box-like but nothing ever went wrong with it! This new house has little cracks all over it, small patches of damp, it creaks, has numerous 'house sounds'. Structurally it's fine but I feel like there's an insurmountable mountain of medium-sized jobs that need doing and I'm terrified something big will go wrong, like it'll need a whole new roof or something.

I just want to sell it and move to a newer house, even if that means a smaller property. DH thinks I'm mad and loves the house. He says we can just do little bits at a time but I can just see a never ending stream of jobs and feel like this house will just suck up all our spare cash forever!

I know if I push I can get my way but I don't know if that's fair to DH. Anyone in an old house who loves it? Is it possible to grow to love a house when I hate it so much?

Having grown up in 70s homes, my H and I bought a 1930s house complete with dado and picture rails and open fireplaces when we got married.

I thought I liked it at the time but I'm.now divorced and back in a 70s box and God I love it! Its a million times easier to clean and maintain. It was ex rental so magnolia throughout...I redecorated it from top to bottom in 4 weeks and have barely had to touch it since.

One of my acquaintances has a Georgian listed property which used to be my idea of heaven...having listened to the ongoing saga of renovations over the last 4 years I wouldn't touch one now with a bargepole!

[quote MaxNormal]@MitziK that's awful! Can you say which builder it was? Did they put the issues right?[/quote]
A private contractor for a Housing Association - they're now trading under a slightly different name and raking it in from cobbling together 'townhouse developments' for the local council. So no, they didn't snag anything much and the HA wouldn't repair, originally because 'that's not a repair, that's a snag - get in touch with the builder' who obviously wouldn't respond after the first two calls on Boxing Day when I a) nearly died from the oven the day before and b) discovered the ongoing water leak into the wall.

I didn't mention the kitchen cabinetry falling apart or the other leak under the sink under the kickboard. Or the unsealed glazing units. Or the continually malfunctioning door locking system. Or the bathroom door locks falling apart and trapping people in them. I'm actually scared to replace the oven (for the third time) in case the regulations have changed so much that I can't have it installed at all.

I therefore declined when I was told 'we're considering offering the house for purchase' and now the HA has been swallowed up by a huge one, so even fewer repairs are being done looks at downstairs toilet that only refills when you lift the cistern lid and wiggle the siphon thingy

Today, I'm waiting in for the incredibly important gas safety check that was supposed to be yesterday, then today and they still haven't turned up to do it. I'm back at work Monday - I bet they'll send shitty letters about forcing entry if I continue to fail to allow them in to check - they did last time the contractors failed to turn up three times.

We're trying to save up to buy back in DP's home area instead. A nice, old place that has managed to stay up for more than ten minutes should do the trick.

I'm with you OP! We've lived 20+ years in a 90 yr old house & it's worn us down with the never ending list of maintenance. It's taken so much of our time energy & money over the years we are fed up with it! We've got to the point now where we couldn't keep pouring money in ,even if we wanted to , so we are moving to a small modern flat (kids grown up) and I can't wait!

Get one or two rooms fully done so you can escape to a calm oasis that makes you happy. Good neighbours are worth their weight in gold and new builds arent all that cracked up to be.

Aw don't be so wet. Just be thankful you can afford house!

Not meaning to be goady but did you not do your research on older houses?? They do creak and make sounds and have more cracks. But you get more character and charm.

Is it really the work that's bothering you or are you just homesick for the old place because you're still adapting. I moved a few months ago and my new place is better, but I still miss the old place, probably just because I was there for many years and got used to it.

I live in a old house too op .We brought it 25yrs because I didn't want too live in a new house .The house I grew up in was 300yrs old mine was built in the 1800's .
We have things we need to fix on our too do list but i love my house. It comes with a ghost too. I never intend to move .

I love our old house. High ceilings, big windows and feels very solid. But yeah we are always doing something either maintaining or repairing.

My ex- neighbours bought a new built and it was badly done, cheap finishes and not as cosy. Think may be that with the stamp duty you save if not selling now you can do some work?

@Pinkyandthebrainz

Not meaning to be goady but did you not do your research on older houses?? They do creak and make sounds and have more cracks. But you get more character and charm.

It's a fair point! We lived in an old house when we were renting and I loved its character. I think maybe at the time I romanticised it, whilst also knowing that anything that needed work wouldn't be my responsibility. When we bought this one I was really focused on the area, particularly schools and maybe didn't scrutinise the house as much as I should have

@Gwenhwyfar

Is it really the work that's bothering you or are you just homesick for the old place because you're still adapting. I moved a few months ago and my new place is better, but I still miss the old place, probably just because I was there for many years and got used to it.

There's definitely a bit of this. We actually relocated to a whole new area for work and I do miss my friends who used to live on my doorstep!

Don't get too worried about a roof - we had ours done last year. Removal of tiles and old lining plus new lining & tiles cost £ 8k. We have a big old Victorian semi. Roofs aren't that expensive.

@RelaisBlu

We live in a grade 2 listed Georgian house. Yes it is a lot of work to keep it in good condition but I absolutely love it and never want to move.

Over the years the noises an old house makes become part of its character, like an old friend sighing....

I love that analogy. Ours is 400+ years old and listed. I love it. There isn’t a straight line in the place, all the floors slope and it’s a bit draughty in the winter. But it’s also cool on the hottest of days and I can’t imagine living anywhere else.

Creaks and house sounds are normal. Superficial plaster cracks are fine and need no work. What actual jobs are there? Surely your structural survey would have picked them up?

YANBU.

I also have an older house and unless you have a bucket load of cash to renovate you will be redecorating for the next decade.... we are.

I like my house but I'm absolutely sick of it. 11yrs in and the whole thing needs redecorating again... it's taken the whole time we've been here.

It's exhausting and I also want to move but DH is refusing as we will be mortgage free in a few years. I do see his point but I'm so over it.

I absolutely love my old house and hopefully never move but if we had to for any reason I’d only look for another old house. We did completely renovate it when we bought it 10 year ago but that’s what we a fixer upper. I love the high ceilings, the details and the little quirks. It actually heats up so quick too. Mind I Haven’t had a tradesman yet who hasn’t said it was a bit of a hard job to do because nothing’s straight but it’s all part of the charm!
My friends just bought a new build house and there was so much wrong they actually had to move out for months while basically the whole of the inside of the house needed redone because it was such a bad job! Absolutely everything needed out right walls knocked down ceilings re done and everything.
I’d pick an old house every time!

My friends just moved into a new build in march. They have huge cracks down the staircase and problems with the outside brick work already.

I prefer older houses. They tend to be built properly.

Lived in new houses and now live in old house. All have problems! New pokey house had double glazing that failed and filled with water in 5 months... weirdness. This house needed a lot of work when we bought it. I did a massive amount but then became physically disabled after a bizarre accident, so no more ripping out rotten joists and relaying floor boards or shimming up a ladder to fix the guttering for me. Tackle one room at a time. If the job seems big, look on line before calling a tradesman as you may be able to tackle it yourself and find it fun! The pride I still have in floor to ceiling tiling my bathroom is immense. Also built the whole kitchen from a well known Swedish store, for example. Not bragging, just made a little money go a long way. Jobs still need doing but as others said, look at them one at a time. Take your time and you will have pride in your dear old home.

I love older houses but my 80 year old place is turning me grey! Living in an area with reactive clay soil and very dry summers doesn’t help either.

Paid to get is painted a couple of years ago and a crack that had been filled started reappearing after only a couple of months. Now more cracks have started just under the cornices. I’ve had grout fall out from between tiles in the kitchen due to movement! I know I really need to get a builder to look at the place to work out what is causing it all but I’m terrified the fix will be megabucks. I plan on selling in the next year or so. Due to Re-zoning in my suburb there’s about a 50% chance the house will be knocked down to build flats so spending thousands on building works seems like a waste.

I had a dream the other night that the whole ceiling fell down in the living room

Our house is 90 years old and will still be standing in another 90. Doubt many properties built in the 1980s will be! All houses need constant maintenance whether it's painting window frames to replacing blown double glazed windows.

I like my house but I'm absolutely sick of it. 11yrs in and the whole thing needs redecorating again... it's taken the whole time we've been here.

Good lord, what happened to the decorating you did initially?!

Have you ever met someone who was absolutely beautiful (or drop-dead handsome), but who had no substance to them at all? Those new, boxy houses are a lot like that. Give me an old home, with all its flaws, that speaks to me of former lives lived, that breathes its history to me in the deep of the night, that promises me not just a house, but a home, if we only fight the fight together.

A new house will give you a place where you are fine with having friends over. Your old home, once you have begun working on it, will give you a place you can take personal pride in.

I have a fixer upper, and after much stress, I’ve found that having everything written down, and dividing up a To Do list help. Once it’s written down I don’t feel quite so overloaded.

Something like this

TO DO

Most Important Tasks
Get heating unit serviced before winter
Fix DD chest of drawers

Can Wait
Price quote for new patio door (once there’s spare cash)

Future plans
Design back garden layout

This thread really resonates with me. Some really insightful comments and lovely stories about your old and new houses. We have been in our 1900 property for 7 years and this year has been the absolute worst for maintenance and general home owning anxiety. Personally I agree that Lockdown and all has made things seem much worse than they perhaps are. Our second was born in June and I think I have some sort of protective nesting thing going on top of it all. Guttering, windows, boiler failure, cheap cardboard like laminate flooring installed by previous owners popping and bending (mixture of uneven floor and my 4 year old jumping around no doubt), mould and cracks hiding under ancient textured wallpaper, and more. I have started analysing every wall and feature of the house and catastrophising to the point where I think it's unhealthy. A trusted builder said there was nothing to worry about the house was solid and better than most new builds and I had to start every sentence with 'my 100+ year old house'. He said finishes in old houses will crack (skimming over things is not a magic bullet) and the Victorians didn't care so much about everything looking perfect like we do nowadays.

Some people will tell you thick lining paper is the answer for imperfect walls. And it might be in some rooms. But I would avoid it on cold external north facing walls/walls prone to damp. Also invest in a dehumidifier if rooms feel cold and wet.

And I think houses, like cars are basically pot luck. Even with your eyes open and a survey you really don't know what you are buying or what problems you are inheriting (neighbours included). So try not to feel so bad about it and I hope this thread makes you see how many people are feeling the same about our 'castle' as the world goes mad around us!