to hate this house so much

[venus9150]

We moved into an old end terraced property a year ago. It's lovely and big, quirky, our neighbours are fantastic and at the time I loved it. Over the last year that has soured dramatically. Our previous house was built in the 1980s, it was cramped and box-like but nothing ever went wrong with it! This new house has little cracks all over it, small patches of damp, it creaks, has numerous 'house sounds'. Structurally it's fine but I feel like there's an insurmountable mountain of medium-sized jobs that need doing and I'm terrified something big will go wrong, like it'll need a whole new roof or something.

I just want to sell it and move to a newer house, even if that means a smaller property. DH thinks I'm mad and loves the house. He says we can just do little bits at a time but I can just see a never ending stream of jobs and feel like this house will just suck up all our spare cash forever!

I know if I push I can get my way but I don't know if that's fair to DH. Anyone in an old house who loves it? Is it possible to grow to love a house when I hate it so much?

[dolphinpose]

@Poppingnostopping - I feel a bit like that about Victorian houses. Give me a 1930s house any day. They are so solid. Ours still has the original roof - never needed retiling.

[GrolliffetheDragon]

As others have said, I've known people buy new build houses who have had endless problems with them, walls needing rebuilding, whole bathrooms having to be replaced... I've had a 100 year old house with problems caused by condensation despite my best efforts, and a 60 year old house with similar problems except it was even colder until we had the cavity wall insulation put in - which had a knock on effect which actually worsened the condensation in places.

In short, owning a house is stressful. But so is renting for different reasons.

[venus9150]

@Poppingnostopping

What era is it? 1950's very different than Victorian.

I have to be honest, I would want an old huge Victorian house these days, can't be bothered with all that and too expensive to heat.

I have a 50's house and love it, still big enough, no major problems so far, and surely you won't need a new roof unless the surveyor said so in the homebuyers report?

New builds, it really depends, some are like horrid little boxes, I have to drive round some new estates to get somewhere each week and they are awful, not enough space for all the posh cars, it's like a rabbit warren and when you get to your destination, it's a box, literally a box with small windows. The nicer ones are great, but so many are just...not.

One thing you said- nice neighbours, that's a huge plus when you move. I wouldn't under-estimate that, or at least, take it into account, you might move to a lovely estate but have a pig of a neighbour. I love our new neighbours and it does make me want to stay around here.

Yeah it was built around 1900. Weirdly it's super quick to heat, quicker than our old house, which is one thing I suppose! The neighbours are definitely a big plus, the area is nice and schools are good so I am grateful for that at least

[venus9150]

@MitziK

I moved into a brand new house.

Cracks in the wall from 'settling'.

Cracks in the ceiling from 'settling' being toshed together by a chippie who just wanted to go home rather than make sure the beams were secure

Nearly died from the oven being connected to the mains with a domestic power cable trapped directly underneath the oven so it melted and the breaker didn't work.

Downstairs shower was flow limited when the water pressure was so low that one wasn't needed, leading to a slow trickle.

Shower drain not connected properly, so shower water drained into the foundations.

Forgot to make sure the sink pedestal fitted before fixing the sink so it's wedged in and can never move again, resulting in the basin cracking due to the aforementioned 'settling'.

Garden dropped by 2 foot over winter.

Cracked sewer pipe.

Forgot to get permission from the owner of the land the sewer pipe crosses.

Forgot to notify Electricity Board of the existence of the meter, making it impossible to pay any bills as according to them, the property and supply doesn't exist.

Fitting the wrong size pipes for water supply so the boiler didn't work.

Forgetting to connect up the solar water heating system so it did nothing other than keep a tank of water in the loft that never made it as far as the boiler.

Forgetting to tighten up pipe joints behind a boxed in area so that water was pissing out for six months into the side wall before it was discovered. but it can't be fixed because they made that corner of the house inaccessible by building at an angle.

No connections for TV aerial but multiple aerial sockets connected to nothing.

No weather strip on the front door.

No insulation under the bay roof.

Concreted over other drains and put a shed on top to hide them.

Living room light switch in the hallway. Hallway lightswitch in the kitchen. Kitchen lightswitch in the hallway. Isolation switches labelled x, y and z did nothing and then were found to be incorrectly connected to z, y and h (a random power socket in the back of a cupboard that can't be accessed by a plug).

No insulation on lower half of back wall. It's just breeze block and brick cladding.

Cut off the overflow pipe so water pisses into the top of the sink unit because they cut the sink hole too close to the frame.

No insulation between oven and frame.

Front window wrong size for the hole, so gaps are filled with polyfilla and pebbles on the inside to try and hide it.

Etc.

Stick to your old house. It at least has managed to stay up this long - I give this one about ten years before a side falls off or something.

Yikes! I'm sorry, that sounds horrific!

[userxx]

@MitziK Jesus!!! That sounds shocking.

[MaxNormal]

@MitziK that's awful! Can you say which builder it was? Did they put the issues right?

[zonkin]

Our house was built in the 1880s. It's true that there is a bit more maintenance with old houses. On the other hand, it's survived this long without any major problems so can't be too badly built. Lived in it for 20 years and I do sigh when something else goes wrong but on the other hand the rooms are really large and the ceilings really tall. I don't think I could move to a new build.

Cracks are par for the course in an old house. No matter how many times you fill them they reappear in the same place a couple of years later.......

When we moved in we did have to do quite a bit of work (eg replacing floorboards and some joists, windows etc) but that is why we could afford the house in the first place. Not sure I'd have the energy to do all that now so I do feel your pain.

[TheDogsMother]

Our house is very old, creaky and draughty but we love it. It's true that they always seem to need something doing so it's more of a constant list of smaller jobs.

[TheDogsMother]

Blimey @MitziK !!! That's a horror story

[longtompot]

New builds aren't without their problems. I have two friends on different estates, one has just had to have their roof redone as it didn't have the lining under the tiles! Another had to have their roof repaired as the builders didn't finish the roof properly and it had huge holes in the corners!
Much as I like the idea of a new build, nice straight lines, sharp edges on walls etc, the thought of no real sound proofing puts me off.

[PenCreed]

I think that when you've had some of the jobs done, you'll start to like your house a bit more! When you have to do them in the right order it can be a pain because all you can see is what you want to change - when we moved in I was desperate to get rid of some of the less good decor, but we needed to get the electrics sorted first. I second (third?) the prioritised list, it all starts to feel more manageable.

We've been here five years and have moved on to the "improving the garden" bit of the list. It's not been constant at all though, there are long gaps where we've not done anything at all and then decided to finally sort something.

[ChasingRainbows19]

I moved from a flat modern build. It was fine. Thin stud walls etc but ok.

We bought a 30s standard semi. We love it. It’s has high ceilings, windows are massive so it feels light and airy. There’s only two of us so plenty of room. Gardens not huge but enough for us.

Yes it creaks, water pipes make noises, heatings a bit creaky too. We’ve had to invest in maintenance and repair work before we can do the inside decor ( luckily it’s modern and not too bad for now) but we consider this to be our forever home and are happy to repair and improve as needed ( and as cash allows!)

At the same time a relative bought a new build, it looks lovely, well presented etc but rooms are smaller, ceilings lower and just less character for me.

I sometimes think people are either new or old house type of people ( ocassionally both)

[Poppingnostopping]

I think it sounds like you do like the house, but you are projecting a bit of world anxiety into it! You liked it when you moved in, you like the neighbours, the area, the schools. That's all amazing. But Covid has made us all a bit insular and stuck in and stare at our houses and all their flaws. My friends in the building trade are doing crazy business and you can't get a tiler or a electrician out quickly for love nor money as everyone wants to repair or do up their homes.

[M0mmzee]

I have voted YANBU as it has taken me 4 years to finally love the old house we moved into. Our previous home was modern. The new (100yrs old) house is still being upgraded. I felt exactly the same way as you - it was a drain on our finances and more importantly our time and I felt things would never get done/progress. However, after 4 years I can finally see it all coming together and I can honestly say I love it and don’t want to move now. There have been tears, sadness almost like a bereavement over moving from the previous house over the years but suddenly it all changed and I now feel at home so in one way YANBU and on the other hand a YABU. I can see it from both sides. Sometimes it is worth sticking with it though unless it puts you into the depths of depression (then that would be different altogether). Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Piglet89]

1867 mid terrace here. Still standing and in good Nick (especially after all the work we did to it!). It’s pretty narrow but I do love it and it’s a bit of a tardis; you would never believe it’s the size it is from the front!

Only thing is sound insulation; adjoining walls seem paper thin and we can hear our nearest neighbours on one side and they are LOUD.

[IceHeart]

Make sure you have a good buildings insurance, that includes W&T and theres no reason you can't fall in love with it.

You'd rather a smaller house with no character and risk moving and having horrible neighbours?

Nope, not worth it.

[XingMing]

Every house needs maintenance and nothing lasts forever. You do lots when you first move in (central heating and replacing a flat roof that leaked here). Ten years later, it's time to update the tired kitchen and bathroom you couldn't afford to do properly at the beginning. After another decade, the double glazing needs replacing etc. etc. etc. We've just had to change our shower and buy a new tank for the oil, and neither was scheduled or budgeted for this year, but it keeps the house up to contemporary expectations so protects saleability and value.

[Pumperthepumper]

I get it, I love our house but there are definitely issues with having an old one - nothing ever looks straight, there’s always issues with chimneys and fireplaces and that costs a fortune because it’s now a fairly specialised job. Wires are never where they should be - and it’s very likely it’s been owned by a superglue-loving maniac at some point, ours had light fittings glued to the ceiling and shelves to the wall. It’s just constant, you never get to the end of it.

[Ninkanink]

@Pumperthepumper

I get it, I love our house but there are definitely issues with having an old one - nothing ever looks straight, there’s always issues with chimneys and fireplaces and that costs a fortune because it’s now a fairly specialised job. Wires are never where they should be - and it’s very likely it’s been owned by a superglue-loving maniac at some point, ours had light fittings glued to the ceiling and shelves to the wall. It’s just constant, you never get to the end of it.

Ahaha I recognise this so well - I swear there isn’t a single right angle anywhere in our whole house. And there have been many, many bodge jobs done to it over the years. The floor in our bathroom slopes. The staircase needs rebuilding. The outer walls need repointing/painting/tidying up.

And so on and so forth.

I’m just putting lots of effort into soft furnishings, lighting and creating plenty of hygge factor (I can say that without being wanky as I’m Danish ).

You will get there @venus9150. What are your favourite bits of your home?

[Musmerian]

I’ve always lived in Victorian houses and love them. On the whole they are more solidly built than a lot of new builds. We’ve spent a fortune restoring our sash windows and yesterday I found a rotten bit again! I love the high ceilings, proportions and huge sash windows. If you loved it to start with relax and try not to worry- you don’t have to fix everything at once.

[Pyewhacket]

Live in a large Victorian Villa built in 1853 and it has loads of "house sounds", creeky floor boards, door bell that is actually a bell, clicking heating pipes. It also has lots of the orignal fittings : servants bells, gas light fittings, outside washroom and toilet, air raid shelter , separate laundy, morning room, butler sinks, slate tile roof, huge heavy doors with big brass knobs and cast iron frame conservatory. It's incredibly well built but it does need careful maintenance, sash windows are a speciality, cables are routed down gas light pipes, lead piping everywhere and old paintwork has to be removed properly. Real fireplaces that need sweeping and huge chessboard tiled hallway. I absolutely love it. Very Sherlock Holmes.

[venus9150]

@Ninkanink @Pumperthepumper Haha actually the whole house is a strange triangle and is definitely not very straight! One corner is a 45 degree angle, it's definitely a talking point when people come over! We recently redecorated the lounge and it does look lovely and cosy tbf. I already feel much more positive after this thread. I'm planning on spending a fortune on Christmas decs to make it as homely as possible

[Samanabanana]

I live in a modern house at the moment which has required far more work than my old Victorian terrace ever did!

[Blueberries0112]

My grandma and aunts still live in her 1890's home if not earlier (I think it is an add on)

Yes it does need some work but most of the time she left it alone . The only major projects she have done is the foundation. And the chimneys

[venus9150]

@Pyewhacket

Live in a large Victorian Villa built in 1853 and it has loads of "house sounds", creeky floor boards, door bell that is actually a bell, clicking heating pipes. It also has lots of the orignal fittings : servants bells, gas light fittings, outside washroom and toilet, air raid shelter , separate laundy, morning room, butler sinks, slate tile roof, huge heavy doors with big brass knobs and cast iron frame conservatory. It's incredibly well built but it does need careful maintenance, sash windows are a speciality, cables are routed down gas light pipes, lead piping everywhere and old paintwork has to be removed properly. Real fireplaces that need sweeping and huge chessboard tiled hallway. I absolutely love it. Very Sherlock Holmes.

Wow!! This sounds amazing!!