to hate this house so much

[venus9150]

We moved into an old end terraced property a year ago. It's lovely and big, quirky, our neighbours are fantastic and at the time I loved it. Over the last year that has soured dramatically. Our previous house was built in the 1980s, it was cramped and box-like but nothing ever went wrong with it! This new house has little cracks all over it, small patches of damp, it creaks, has numerous 'house sounds'. Structurally it's fine but I feel like there's an insurmountable mountain of medium-sized jobs that need doing and I'm terrified something big will go wrong, like it'll need a whole new roof or something.

I just want to sell it and move to a newer house, even if that means a smaller property. DH thinks I'm mad and loves the house. He says we can just do little bits at a time but I can just see a never ending stream of jobs and feel like this house will just suck up all our spare cash forever!

I know if I push I can get my way but I don't know if that's fair to DH. Anyone in an old house who loves it? Is it possible to grow to love a house when I hate it so much?

[quote venus9150]**@Ninkanink* @Pumperthepumper* Haha actually the whole house is a strange triangle and is definitely not very straight! One corner is a 45 degree angle, it's definitely a talking point when people come over! We recently redecorated the lounge and it does look lovely and cosy tbf. I already feel much more positive after this thread. I'm planning on spending a fortune on Christmas decs to make it as homely as possible[/quote]
We replaced a floor and had to choose whether or not we wanted the skirting board squint or the door frames. Lovely 😂

I have completely renovated several properties. You need to sit down with your DH and go through room by room writing down exactly what needs to be done. Then pick a room you want sorted first and work through jobs in sensible order. Do main jobs like sorting out roof first. Often just broken tiles or new valley needed or else pointing around chimney. Somtimes just guttering blocked up. If your DH is not again of heights he could take a look on roof for broken tiles or old pointing needing redoing. None of these are expensive jobs but always sort out roof leaks first. If not damp going through plaster will blow it and then you will need ceiling re-plastering too. It is often cheaper to get several ceilings plastered together. Shop around for best quotes. I would always get 3. Tell them you are on a budget and need their best price. Fill in any small cracks using filler. Put in a bit too much. It sets hard and a couple of days later you can sand to a good smooth finish. Just filling, sanding and painting will green the room up. You will need expert for rising damp and new damp course.

My cottage was built in 1800...im a lone parent....its a bloody money pit...my shower packed up this morning...i have no light in the bathroom....my dd's window was so rotten its fallen out...numerous bits of damp etc. ...a downatairs loo that doesnt flush.. i love the house but sooo pissed off at living like this.

and it’s very likely it’s been owned by a superglue-loving maniac at some point

I find that quite funny. We've found some odd things in this house, the people who lived here before us were not very handy.

Think about what it would cost to move in fees alone and if you have that money I'd say spend it on this house. An old house does have a constant running list of things that need doing but when you get it right and decorated/modernised how you like there is nothing better. Be bold and get it how you want it. Do it all at once as a project if you can.

I forgot to.say use You Tube to show you how to plaster a wall, tile etc. I learned to plaster using You Tube and it saved us so much money. I have not tried ceilings though. On the ladder looking upwards makes me feel a bit dizzy. Tiling is easy to learn, just buy a good tile cutting machine and spacers to get a good finish.

We replaced a floor and had to choose whether or not we wanted the skirting board squint or the door frames. Lovely

All of the closet doors on one side of our house have triangles that were cut out of the top, so the angle at the top of the door is at about 15 to 20 degree angle. It seems to have been done when the house was under 50 years old so not worrying, but there is no way you could just slot in a regular door.

Do a list, we did and kept add to it 🙄 it looked like a never ending list but we worked through it, prioritise the urgent jobs and cross them off as you go.
I'm female, using YouTube videos here are some of the DIY iv done myself, knocked all the tiles off in the bathroom and retiled from scratch, fixed a big hole in the landing ceiling, damp proofed and put a new step in front of the patio doors, hung internal doors, decorated throughout, repoint the back wall.
You can do it

replaster the house, new electrics, extra thick luxury underlay and you'll not have cracks and the noises will diminish

We live in a Georgian town house, Grade II. I didn't really like it much when we viewed it but we ended up buying it anyway. I hate it. It's a money pit, At the moment we are trying to find money to fix the kitchen ceiling which fell down very early on in lockdown.

Any money we have goes on fixing the bloody house.

I grew up in a Victorian house which was crumbling too. I loved it. My parents were tearing their hair out trying to find the money to fix things. I had a leak in my bedroom ceiling for about 4 years before they found a roofer who actually fixed it, many roofers had said they'd done it..... think about how much that must have cost my poor parents.

When we were thinking of buying in France, there were lots of gorgeous old houses for sale, and the retiring farmers who lived in them were all desperate to live in little boxes in town. Now I know why!

I have every sympathy with you. Let other people pay for the quirkiness and move to a nice warm box with high speed fibre broadband (we'll never have that here) and no rattling windows, crumbling walls, leaks or constant fusing and plumbing which doesn't understand what it's meant to do! Those are just a few of the jobs we've had to do. No money for holidays, no money for treats, no money for clothes or books or............

Our house is about 150 yrs old, originally a miner's cottage, and yes, one thing is done and then another thing needs doing but it's not been too bad, apart from the initial roof leak that made our upstairs bedroom uninhabitable for quite some time! I love the area where we live and don't want to move, even though it always feels like we're one room down! My advice is just take things one bit at a time. It's interesting because over time my goals have changed for the house and I think that's been a better outcome than my original goals, if that makes sense.

YABU because I own a similar house and they are so worth it! YANBU because you have signed yourself up to a never ending stream of jobs! They’re worth it though, you will learn to really love the space and character that your property has that others won’t come close to.

Remind yourself that however tatty, it has been there for a while, and has therefore withstood torrential rain , gale force winds, frozen pipes and is still going strong. You can't necessarily know that about a new house, just hope.

My house (Georgian) is an endless stream of problems, but I love it because of its character, and wouldn't want to live in a new house if I were given one.

After living for 20yrs in a 200yr old cottage I wouldn't buy an old house again unless I had plenty of money to do all the work on moving in.

We moved here (new build in 1999) 21 yrs ago now. We had no problems, the rooms are large, light and spacious, no issue with noise, neighbours or parking and we haven't had to spend a penny on the fabric of the building since we moved in.

@CremantCharlie

A lot of new builds have problems, so you will probably have problems and small box like rooms.

THIS!

Our house is a 1910 terrace.

Most of what was wrong with it, was bodged DIY from previous residents!

About 10 years ago we were feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I had a list, room by room of everything that needed doing. Which helped me to see what order things needed to be done on, what I could do myself, what was structural, or causing other problems, therefore urgent, and what was just surface stuff that could wait. Even though the list was really long, it really helped us feel in control and prioritize.

We've been here 13 years now and have basically fixed everything in the whole house except the back garden which is being done in 3 weeks! Now are onto fixing our own mistakes like getting wooden guttering put up, which has now rotted because it's too high for us to do any maintenance on!

If you loved it to start with, it's probably just a bit overwhelming on top of the year we've had!

YABU. I don't like the house I live in but I have a roof over my head, somewhere to sleep at night and somewhere which we can call home. Give it time OP, you'll get used to it and may grow to like it.

This place is old, how old is debatable, it's been hashed about so much it's hard to tell. I think the oldest bit is c1650; the newest 2011). When we moved in the amount of work it needed was daunting (some of it scarily structural), and it took us about 10 years to work through it all. It has rising damp in a couple of places that we cannot fix (there are 3 good reasons for the damp, and two of them are pretty much inescapable). It's also draughty but we've reduced that over the years. Every few years we have too cough up a small fortune to make sure some key bit of maintenance gets done. On the plus side, it's huge, the rooms are huge, the windows are beautiful, the stairs are stunning, it has loads of character, it was a fab place to bring up the DC.

I think it helps to have two lists: one of the essential jobs in order of importance and one of other things you can do that make you happier and make the house feel like home: put bookshelves into an alcove, slap on a coat of paint in the bathroom to make it look better even if you are going to rip it out in a few years, get to grips with the garden so your outlook is tidy and pleasant.

And @MitziK, bloody hell!
I know a couple who have just pulled out of buying a new flat and I suspect that they have dodged a stack of similar issues (no consent for sewerage connection was definitely one). DH had friends who bought a new build and most of the purchasers in their close ended up going after the contractor for one thing or another (and these were big, flash detached houses too).

Oh gosh that’d horrendous @MitziK!

*that’s

Do you want a swap?! I hate my new house because it isn't old, creaky and quirky!!!! Modern 3 bed bungalow where everything works everytime, all of the time, but miss the character of a more period property.....

I think you need to be realistic about what you are prepared to do. We nearly bought a house that needed masses of work because we loved the garden. We ended up buying a house with a smaller garden but less to do and I immediately felt relieved. I admire people who can put the time and work in to renovate old houses but I also know that’s not me, and dh moans if he so much as has to put up shelves! But if you loved it before maybe it’s just a result of this weird year where everything can feel overwhelming.

Someone once told me everyone should have a Victorian house or flat -- once. She was happy to have moved to somewhere more modern. I wouldn't move from my creaky but cosy Victorian.

I agree with Dolphin's comment: If you'd been stuck in your boxy modern house right through lockdown, you'd hate that too. And you'd notice everything that is wrong with it. The poky rooms, the thin walls, the dull features. You're seeing and hearing it because there's not much break from being at home these days. Try focusing on the good stuff. Make the most of the space, the light, the height, the features....

I sympathise anyway, OP, because it's easy for everything to become overwhelming these days. I hope you can follow some of the advice here and get on top of things again. Meanwhile, have a xx

You might as well burn £50 notes! Think of all the wasted money in fees.