to hate this house so much

[venus9150]

We moved into an old end terraced property a year ago. It's lovely and big, quirky, our neighbours are fantastic and at the time I loved it. Over the last year that has soured dramatically. Our previous house was built in the 1980s, it was cramped and box-like but nothing ever went wrong with it! This new house has little cracks all over it, small patches of damp, it creaks, has numerous 'house sounds'. Structurally it's fine but I feel like there's an insurmountable mountain of medium-sized jobs that need doing and I'm terrified something big will go wrong, like it'll need a whole new roof or something.

I just want to sell it and move to a newer house, even if that means a smaller property. DH thinks I'm mad and loves the house. He says we can just do little bits at a time but I can just see a never ending stream of jobs and feel like this house will just suck up all our spare cash forever!

I know if I push I can get my way but I don't know if that's fair to DH. Anyone in an old house who loves it? Is it possible to grow to love a house when I hate it so much?

[hil1910]

We’re you not reassured by your structural survey which you had completed before you bought the house that there were no major issues with your home? I’ve lived mostly in older properties over the past 44 years and our current house is what you would class as newish. It’s a bungalow which we have retired to. Maintenance wise it costs far less than an older property and that’s what we were looking for when we bought it. Being at home during the pandemic may well have exemplified the little jobs your home needs doing. Just prioritise the work and enjoy your home.

[Ddot]

My mam has one its so warm even without heating on.

[dolphinpose]

@Ddot - me too. I love 1970s houses. Loads of space, huge windows, solidly built. I think they are really stylish.

[Ddot]

RednaxelasLunch 1970 houses are class, built to last. Good for you. I love my old house but it's cold in winter. I wouldnt want a new new house but 1970s yes please

[cormorantes]

I couldn't cope with the maintenance in my characterful 1900s house and moved to a new build. It was mainly the damp, the always returning damp that every fucking tradesperson confidently gave a different reason for (when they bothered to turn up) and no one could ever fix. In every room!

[RednaxelasLunch]

I blame instagram and magazines. The pictures look amazing but no one ever talks about the awkward reality.. I would never live in a Victirian house again if you paid me. I LOVE the 1970s build we moved to, it's in need of TLC but nothing like the constant niggles and weird smells previously I can still see the dodgy skirting at the kitchen threshold now shudders

[Ismellphantoms]

I bought a large Victorian house in need of almost total renovation. I did loads over the years but it was always cold and something always needed doing. I now have a beautiful new build. It's so cheap to keep warm. It's only had a couple of small problems, soon fixed under guarantee. I could never live in an old house again. They can be absolutely miserable in winter.

[Ddot]

Give it time dear 5years maybe then if you still hate it, have that discussion. Covid over maybe then see how you both feel, both!

[Ddot]

Go crazy with some decor

[thegcatsmother]

Ours was built in 1835. Yes, there are things still to do, as we've owned it since 92, but been abroad and it was rented out, but it is solid. One of our rentals abroad was built in 1774, and I loved it, even with all the small niggles. My house has a history, and soul. It's quirky and friendly.

[Ddot]

I bought a house near a railway line and I do mean near. I thought I'd never sleep again and hated it. I don't even notice them now unless their going too fast through the night and the bed shakes, I kid you not. New houses can have far more problems, old houses need upkeep i agree but character is worth every penny. Cast iron fireplace in the bedrooms loves em

[scubadive]

You’ll spend way more on stamp duty, solicitor fess and removal costs then some repair costs.

Your survey would have shown anything major like a new roof.

Focus on the good, you wanted somewhere bigger and now talk of going smaller. All houses have compromises if you carry on you will never be satisfied and will have wasted lots if money in moving costs.

[Creativenina]

My other half loves to dabble in DIY. He looks on youtube to see how things are done and has saved tons of money by doing small jobs/repairs himself.

[Creativenina]

If you buy an old house that needs some work to it. What ever you jobs you do to improve the house you will be adding value to it.
It is a matter of preference but I am not too keen on new builds. I think they are not made with the same quality of materials that old houses are built with, the gardens are generally smaller, the walls are thinner, the rooms are smaller, they lack character and they are overpriced. They cleverly design the show homes with small furniture to make them look bigger. You also have to be careful when you are buying a new build if it is freehold or leasehold.

[IdblowJonSnow]

I dont really get why you hate it. A few little cracks are no biggie!
And I know plenty of people in newer builds with leaks and god knows what else.
Try and get a few jobs done and then see how you feel...

[Creativenina]

Old terraced properties are usually well built with solid thick walls that you can actually hang pictures from. The rooms are generally bigger with slightly taller ceilings. I much prefer the older properties to new builds. They have stood the test of time.
Cracks are sometimes unavoidable and the house is more than likely structurally sound. As long as you had a full survey done, they would have picked up on any anomaly’s.
We moved into our 40 year old 3 bedroom house 5 years ago. I was never really keen on it because it was smaller than our previous house which had 5 bedrooms and was on a modern estate. We upgraded house but down sized. My other half fell in love with the garden which is landscaped to a brook. Since we moved in we have been making a few changes and I am gradually kind of getting to like the house but I still get frustrated as I would have liked a bit more room. It will take time to make it how we want it. Before we moved we had a list of what we wanted in our new home but you can’t always find that perfect property and you have to compromise.

[Celestine70]

I'm guessing you want a show home.

[Lurchermom]

What I can't stress highly enough with old properties is if you can only pick one thing to maintain/fix - it's your guttering. You wouldn't not believe the amount of problems which result from blocked guttering, loose downpipes or blocked drainage. Sometimes the results are things you wouldn't even believe are connected.

[Ineke]

Always a good idea to get to know of a good trustworthy and reliable handy man/woman. Usually word of mouth is the best recommendation or ask on Nextdoor. And make a list of big stuff and little jobs. Some things you could do yourself I would have thought.
But just do what you can when you can.

[Usernametaken100]

This thread really resonates with me. Some really insightful comments and lovely stories about your old and new houses. We have been in our 1900 property for 7 years and this year has been the absolute worst for maintenance and general home owning anxiety. Personally I agree that Lockdown and all has made things seem much worse than they perhaps are. Our second was born in June and I think I have some sort of protective nesting thing going on top of it all. Guttering, windows, boiler failure, cheap cardboard like laminate flooring installed by previous owners popping and bending (mixture of uneven floor and my 4 year old jumping around no doubt), mould and cracks hiding under ancient textured wallpaper, and more. I have started analysing every wall and feature of the house and catastrophising to the point where I think it's unhealthy. A trusted builder said there was nothing to worry about the house was solid and better than most new builds and I had to start every sentence with 'my 100+ year old house'. He said finishes in old houses will crack (skimming over things is not a magic bullet) and the Victorians didn't care so much about everything looking perfect like we do nowadays.

Some people will tell you thick lining paper is the answer for imperfect walls. And it might be in some rooms. But I would avoid it on cold external north facing walls/walls prone to damp. Also invest in a dehumidifier if rooms feel cold and wet.

And I think houses, like cars are basically pot luck. Even with your eyes open and a survey you really don't know what you are buying or what problems you are inheriting (neighbours included). So try not to feel so bad about it and I hope this thread makes you see how many people are feeling the same about our 'castle' as the world goes mad around us!

[MisfitRightIn]

I have a fixer upper, and after much stress, I’ve found that having everything written down, and dividing up a To Do list help. Once it’s written down I don’t feel quite so overloaded.

Something like this

TO DO

Most Important Tasks
Get heating unit serviced before winter
Fix DD chest of drawers

Can Wait
Price quote for new patio door (once there’s spare cash)

Future plans
Design back garden layout

[Mamanyt]

Have you ever met someone who was absolutely beautiful (or drop-dead handsome), but who had no substance to them at all? Those new, boxy houses are a lot like that. Give me an old home, with all its flaws, that speaks to me of former lives lived, that breathes its history to me in the deep of the night, that promises me not just a house, but a home, if we only fight the fight together.

A new house will give you a place where you are fine with having friends over. Your old home, once you have begun working on it, will give you a place you can take personal pride in.

[Goosefoot]

I like my house but I'm absolutely sick of it. 11yrs in and the whole thing needs redecorating again... it's taken the whole time we've been here.

Good lord, what happened to the decorating you did initially?!

[Plunger]

Our house is 90 years old and will still be standing in another 90. Doubt many properties built in the 1980s will be! All houses need constant maintenance whether it's painting window frames to replacing blown double glazed windows.

[bluetongue]

I love older houses but my 80 year old place is turning me grey! Living in an area with reactive clay soil and very dry summers doesn’t help either.

Paid to get is painted a couple of years ago and a crack that had been filled started reappearing after only a couple of months. Now more cracks have started just under the cornices. I’ve had grout fall out from between tiles in the kitchen due to movement! I know I really need to get a builder to look at the place to work out what is causing it all but I’m terrified the fix will be megabucks. I plan on selling in the next year or so. Due to Re-zoning in my suburb there’s about a 50% chance the house will be knocked down to build flats so spending thousands on building works seems like a waste.

I had a dream the other night that the whole ceiling fell down in the living room