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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

362 replies

teaandtoast49 · 29/10/2020 08:49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 29/10/2020 14:40

Well what about them? People who don't do it, don't do it. People who do, do. The end.

ktp100 · 29/10/2020 14:41

You sound a tad uptight, OP.

Where exactly is the problem with Halloween? No child is harmed by a pumpkin, a few fake bats, fancy dress and sweets!

You do realise lots of parents go Trick or Treating with their kids to ensure they're safe, right? Not this year, obviously, but in general?

And the origins of Halloween/All Hallows Eve are Christian so there really is no reason to moan about it.

It's a bit of fun! No need to be a Debbie Downer!!

PodgeBod · 29/10/2020 14:47

When I was a kid, we weren't allowed to go trick or treating as it was begging Hmm in hindsight, I think my mum couldn't be arsed. She takes no moral issue with her grandchildren doing it. I take my children, they love it.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 29/10/2020 14:48

Most American children don’t have scary costumes as they’re not allowed to wear them at school- they usually dress up for Halloween on the day, or the day before this year. DD (15) and her friends are dressing up 1960’s style with swirly dresses and go-go boots; DS hasn’t planned well this year so he’s wearing one of his his football jerseys and will take a ball in with him!

YouKidsIsCrazy · 29/10/2020 14:49

What about people who don't do Halloween or trick or treating for religious purposes? I don't really do Halloween with my kids as I see it as an American import

So don't do it, nobody cares. You're wrong though, its not an american import.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 29/10/2020 14:50

It’s not v. authentic, but most children just love dressing up.

SionnachRua · 29/10/2020 14:51

You're not into it, that's fine. Personally I think Guy Fawkes night is the most macabre thing ever. But I don't come from a culture that celebrates it and if my culture did celebrate it, I could choose to not partake. Surely you can apply the same logic yourself.

Personally I love Halloween, it's the best of all the yearly celebrations. As kids we only ever knocked at houses which had decorations up (a pumpkin out was the thing to look for).

WriteronaMission · 29/10/2020 14:56

If you don't want to do it, don't. There's nothing wrong with others wanting to do it. Where we are, you only visit houses that are either decorated or have a pumpkin outside. If people aren't doing it, they will make it clear. Kids are fine with it.

I see a friend every year complaining about us teaching kids not to take candy from strangers every day of the year except Halloween. That's their justification for not taking their kids, saying kids will get confused. Fine, but my kids know that trick or treating is special and I will always check their bags for anything unsuitable before they grab anything. They don't get confused why they can't do it any other time of the year and look forward to the next Halloween.

We're not doing it this year for various reasons (partially covid reasons but more about avoiding disappointment as there are a lot of people saying their houses are closed) and the kids are looking forward to the night in but we're doing something special in the house for them.

Nobody should push their own views on others. If you don't like it, don't do it, but there's not need to ruin everyone else's fun.

lazylinguist · 29/10/2020 15:41

I don't really do Halloween with my kids as I see it as an American import

  1. No it isn't
  2. Do you think everything from America is automatically bad just because it's American? There seems to be very widespread, sneery anti-American prejudice on MN. Do you think Americans are so sneery about things they imported from the UK?
lazylinguist · 29/10/2020 15:43

It’s not v. authentic

What does that matter? Do people think that all Christmas traditions date back to early Christianity? Most of them aren't even pre-Victorian. Some are barely a couple of decades old.

YouKidsIsCrazy · 29/10/2020 15:49

I see a friend every year complaining about us teaching kids not to take candy from strangers every day of the year except Halloween. That's their justification for not taking their kids, saying kids will get confused

How thick are their kids?

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 29/10/2020 15:54

@lazylinguist. I agree, it doesn’t need to be authentic, it’s just a bit of fun!

People are so grumpy on MN today.☹️

Scarlettpixie · 29/10/2020 16:05

Round here the etiquette is clear and you only trick or treat at houses which are decorated or ‘Halloween friendly’ as our kids used to say!

If you don’t want to get involved you don’t have to.

On my road and nearby lots of houses go mad with decorations, the best ones doing a walk through and raising money for charity. Crowds of people come from all over town. Even the fire service turnn out (if available) to hand out sweets. Parents accompany their kids and dress up too. It is amazing tbh.

I hope no one comes this year (with Covid) and makes alternative plans. Halloween can be fun without trick or treating but usually there is no harm in it. This year we won’t take part as crowds and kids literally queuing at your door does not seem like a good idea in the midst of a pandemic.

midnightstar66 · 29/10/2020 16:07

I don't think for a minute your parents were in the right. I adored Halloween and sleepovers with my friends. It's some of my best memories and my dc are the same. I let them because it's is a fun tradition!

happymummy12345 · 29/10/2020 16:13

I agree 100%. I hate it it's begging to me. I
Was never allowed to do it and I will never allow my child to do it. You wouldn't take your child round knocking on strangers doors asking for sweets or money any other night (I assume), so why is it okay on Halloween?

Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 16:14

This year is different. Usually people decorate if they're taking part and there's loads of kids round here. It's good fun.

combatbarbie · 29/10/2020 16:15

Have you ever challenged your parents views, I mean internally, when they refused when you were a kid, from reading it seems you have just accepted them and that is now why you hold the same view.

TheKeatingFive · 29/10/2020 16:20

You wouldn't take your child round knocking on strangers doors asking for sweets or money any other night (I assume), so why is it okay on Halloween?

Because lots of our most treasured traditions involve doing things that aren’t the norm. It’s kind of the point.

Do you encourage your children to send begging letters to strange old men asking for presents in the normal run of things? Or get them to sit on bearded men’s laps and ask for toys? No? So why is okay at Christmas?

Anoisagusaris · 29/10/2020 16:25

As an Irish person, how we celebrate Halloween is very authentic, but has evolved somewhat.

The origins of Halloween are Irish (and Scottish).

Some of the arguments against Halloween on MN are ridiculous and non-sensical.

CityCommuter · 29/10/2020 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hibbledibble · 29/10/2020 16:27

Nothing wrong with trickortreating or sleepovers, or Halloween. It's not American in origin either, despite some misinformation on this thread.

Due to coronavirus, we won't be doing it this year, however.

ARoseInHarlem · 29/10/2020 16:27

@Serin

I'm with Billy Connolly on fun in childhood. You are a long time old, let them enjoy some magic FFS. We celebrated everything in this house, tooth fairies, Easter, Samhain, Divali, Notting hill carnival, royal events, the lot. We went on holidays just to look for Dragons or King Arthur. We even had a colony of Teddy bears living at the bottom of the garden. One of our adult kids has just applied for a masters in fairy stories in Denmark so I guess they are a bit fucked up though Grin You would hate me OP.
A Masters in fairy stories in Denmark???!!

You are a parenting success, Serin. This is the most awesome thing I’ve read on MN in ages.

formerbabe · 29/10/2020 16:31

I really see no issue if kids are enjoying it, they're accompanied by an adult and only knocking on doors where the house is decorated and joining in. Everyone is happy then. Some people in our area go all out decorating their houses.

midnightstar66 · 29/10/2020 16:34

Trick or treating' is not a Scottish 'hobbled' together tradition. It was called guising and was based on folklore. It's been ruined by Americanisation and commercialisation. In Scotland, it used to be a lovely simple bit of fun for children. You went to the doors of neighbours you knew and family friends. There'd be sweets but also monkey nuts and apples. You'd have to sing a song or tell a joke.

Actually we used to get hard cash along side the monkey nuts. I don't remember many sweets, I must be older. You could end up with quite a haul in a larger town. My friend and I were ever so wholesome and used to do it for charity. You'd carry the turnip lantern with you door to door, the smell of candles in a turnip brings back awesome memories

Anoisagusaris · 29/10/2020 16:34

@Serin
A masters in fairy stories in Denmark - that is so amazing!! Love it!!

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