to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

[teaandtoast49]

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou @YouKidsIsCrazy
I used to be Wiccan and believed that all gods/goddesses were different representations/facets of the same god and goddess

Enjoy the cultural traditions you grew up with, sure, but I didn't grow up with it - and that's the late 90s to early 00s - so why should my kids? I'm not about to make them celebrate other culture's stuff

Firstly, literally everything you celebrate was nicked off another culture at some point. If you want English cultural purism, you really should be dancing around a stone circle somewhere and sacrificing your first born to a fertility God to make the crops grow, preferably while naked and painted with wode...although even the nakedness and wode were probably imported by the Beaker People or something. Secondly, Halloween has its roots in the pre-Christian Celtic festival of Samhain and the Christian / pseudo-Christian-but-really-kinda-pagan tradition of All Hallows Eve. Its indigenous to these islands (I'm Irish - we do Halloween in a big way with traditions like massive bonfires which trace directly back to Samhain) and goes back an incredibly long way.

Why do you think your parents were in the right?

I am nearly 50 and went out what we call “guising” as a child. If you don’t like it fine but it doesn’t mean you’re right and people who do it are wrong

@TeenPlusTwenties

I think Trick or Treating these days is fine. The etiquette is very clear - you can call at lit decorated houses, but not at unlit or undecorated ones.

That means everyone is participating willingly, so no issue.

This

It's not fun for everyone. Some people (including children) find it frightening and disturbing.

Trick or treating is huge here in the US ( during non-COVID times). I was taken aback when I first moved here but our neighborhood has a great system. Big party at someone’s house ( we take terms) then I lease the children around 6 to go trick or treating ( one parent rushes home to be ready for the hordes)! The older ones go in groups with theirs friends; younger ones in small groups with a couple of parents. Decorated/lighted houses only, obviously, but nearly everyone participates.

Of course, this year will be v. tame. No party and we’re putting out a table at the end of the garden with little bags of wrapped sweets in case a few stop by. It’s abit miserable.☹️

*turns

I’m always amazed by how Victorian some parents are.

I loved it as a child, was laughing with my sister earlier about how we’d be dressed as ‘witches’ in a bin bag, wandering around with a naked flame inside a carved swede (never seen a pumpkin in real life at that point) in the dark - some excellent parenting from our folks there!

It wasn’t knocking on strangers doors though - I always see that complaint but for us it wasn’t like that as we knew our neighbours- just like I know my neighbours where I live now. As children we’d only go to the houses we knew, there were lots of children on my street and we went to each other’s houses basically, plus one or two of the ones you knew were up for joining in. You had to do a song or tell a joke (that was the ‘trick’ element for us, never doing anything horrible to someone’s house) and you’d get sweets or maybe a satsuma or something.

DH wasn’t allowed to do it as his parents said it was begging. I find that ridiculous to be honest, but that’s because my experience was a positive one of it being something fun we did amongst people who enjoyed it too.

DD is still a tiny baby so there’s time to decide whether we’ll do it or not with her. If not I’d definitely want to do a little party or something instead - I want her to have as many things to celebrate in her life as possible.

Are those posters on here baffled by children taking sweets from random strangers equally horrified by children sitting on Santa's knee at Christmas time? Afterall, it's not every day that you let you child sit on a random man's knee. It could be a paedo lurking under that big Santa beard eh?

AliasGrape what will your daughter celebrate if you do decide to do Halloween with her?

@AliasGrape. I was also given a swede to carve as my uncle was a farmer and there was no way my parents were paying a pumpkin when they could get something for free. Frugal farming stock.🤣

Trick or treating is lovely in our village, the parents go out with the kids and only go to the houses that are decorated, they usually have their windows all done and pumpkins outside on the doorstep and they're expecting people. It's like the whole street is lit up, and there are little groups all over, we love it. We know most of the people in the village and most have children at the school.

When I was little we only went to our godmother who lived over the road, but it wasn't as much of a thing back then.

@CHIRIBAYA

Are those posters on here baffled by children taking sweets from random strangers equally horrified by children sitting on Santa's knee at Christmas time? Afterall, it's not every day that you let you child sit on a random man's knee. It could be a paedo lurking under that big Santa beard eh?

I never did either with my child. I do however remember being taken to 'see Santa' in a department store when I was a child (though I didn't believe in the myth), maybe twice. My mum moaned to my sister and dad about the tacky gift :-).

'her' sister, not 'mine'.

Allowing unsupervised children to knock on random doors is foolish any night of the year
However at Halloween if there is a planned route or the kids know to only knock on the decorated houses then I think that’s ok

No one seems to be doing it this year tho

@Frequentcarpetflyer

AliasGrape what will your daughter celebrate if you do decide to do Halloween with her?

She’ll celebrate Halloween.

Celebrate in the sense of acknowledging/marking a special day.

It’s a special day for me, I love Autumn, the dark nights, winter and Christmas round the corner, I love the smell of a candle inside a root vegetable, I like sweets and I think dressing up can be fun. So if she enjoys those things too we’ll ‘celebrate’ it by whacking on a costume, carving a lantern and doing some traditional games and/or activities which might include trick or treating .

So celebrating Halloween to you means celebrating autumm, sweets, dark nights, winter, Christmas round the corner and the smell of a candle inside a root vegetable?

It's not fun for everyone. Some people (including children) find it frightening and disturbing

Adults frightened and disturbed by this should seek professional help.

This thread.

Every. Single. Year 😂😂

Soon to be followed by "Santa is American, its Father Christmas in the UK" (it isn't) and "Yorkshire puddings don't belong on a Christmas Dinner".

You can set your calendar by it.

Lol @Gancanny very true!

If children are knocking on the doors of houses where people have put Halloween decorations up (so clearly in to it themselves), then what’s the issue?

You’re not in to it, that’s fine. Don’t get involved. But others do enjoy it, even other adults! Hence why they put the decorations up because they want to make it fun for others.

The general rule is to avoid houses which don’t have decorations up. This makes perfect sense. So I could understand someone getting annoyed if they just want a peaceful night and all they hear is knock knock all evening. But this barely happens does it? Everyone I’ve ever seen just heads towards houses that have a pumpkin in the window.

I’m not really sure where trick or treating stands with Covid. But that’s another issue entirely.

Safety in numbers, parents with younger children, only calling in those who are displaying decorations. No harm there. It actually takes all the fun away imo. We had great fun in the 80s knocking on all doors, getting money, fruit or whatever they gave you. I remember eating choc ices under an underpass and dividing the £11 between 5 of us. Always had a squirt bottle of water for our trick. So glad I had my youth before elf n safety kicked in.

@Frequentcarpetflyer

So celebrating Halloween to you means celebrating autumm, sweets, dark nights, winter, Christmas round the corner and the smell of a candle inside a root vegetable?

I’m really not sure what you’re getting at? Are you taking issue with my use of the word celebrate? Do you want me to dig deep inside myself to discover the ‘true meaning of Halloween’ or something?

I’m celebrating the night when the veil between the living and the dead is the thinnest and their souls walk the Earth once more. Is that better?

Or I’m just marking a special day in the calendar with happy associations for me and many others, roots back to pagan times and that for me signifies the changing of the seasons.

What about people who don't do Halloween or trick or treating for religious purposes? I don't really do Halloween with my kids as I see it as an American import (though Scottish seem to lay claim to it also). I also think it's a bit grim to see little kids dressed up at Chucky or Annabelle or with fake blood dripping off them . We went to Butlins one October half term and there was staff walking round the funfair dressed as Texas chainsaw or some other slasher style outfit complete with bloodied plastic machete, the little ones were petrified.
My kids have lots of fun doing other things, at other times 🤷