to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

[teaandtoast49]

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

My parents always arranged to go to the houses belonging to our school friends, as where we lived there was a looped route we could walk round where there were about 15 people from our school who we knew!! They had a sort of agreement at school that the kids could go to all of these houses - plenty for them to be getting on with - and they all knew where everyone lived so they knew which houses to knock on.

One parent would stand at the end of the drive to supervise, the other would stay home to open the door to the other kids.

It worked surprisingly well!

I don't disagree with Halloween as such, but do think that only decorated houses should be knocked at. We always get lots of knocks at Halloween but I don't open the door because I live in an awful area and people have in the past used it as a way to get into your house/to distract the homeowner at the front door .. we get egged every year for not opening, but at least we're safe.

Yeah, pumpkins, haribo, a dinosaur costume and WHAM, next thing you know you’re making satanic sacrifices
🤣

There isn’t just safe and unsafe. There are risks everywhere in life but you can mitigate them so that children can take precautions but have fun. It’s part of your job as a parent to let your children grow as people through varied experiences.

Maybe this sounds extreme but I really am glad I have never met anyone in real life with such views.

It's a bit of fun for children for goodness sake!

Also find the view of "disagreeing" with something because you never did it very limited & pointless.

'Trick or treating' is not a Scottish 'hobbled' together tradition. It was called guising and was based on folklore. It's been ruined by Americanisation and commercialisation. In Scotland, it used to be a lovely simple bit of fun for children. You went to the doors of neighbours you knew and family friends. There'd be sweets but also monkey nuts and apples. You'd have to sing a song or tell a joke. There were no parties for adults or gory costumes.
People in my town now get in their cars to go to the 'good' streets, usually in large groups. I live in one of those streets. It is starting to grate on me when I see the street full of strange cars and groups of ten or more kids at my door. Some kids are told to say thank you but many just hold out their bags. The amount of sweets kids get is ridiculous. I also wonder about the sense of entitlement of people who are happy to go knock at strangers' doors but not think perhaps they should reciprocate and have someone waiting at home.
I used to love Halloween because of the simplicity of it but it's just been spoiled.

@PattyPan Wiccans are Polytheistic (like Hinduism) with similarities to Native American theology.

The Horned God (often mistaken for the devil) is just one deity.

Trick or treating is big in our area - every second house massively decorated so you always know which houses will be receptive to trick or treaters. I didn't do it as a kid because we lived out in the country so no neighbours within walking distance. My kids love it though so I'm happy to let them do it. This year we've planned some Halloween baking, crafts etc. and we'll still go out for a walk around in the dark to look at the decorations. No knocking on doors though and we won't be opening the door to trick or treaters either.

I always went trick or treating when I was around 13. I don’t think it was a thing before that. I can’t remember going anyway but I can remember carving a swede when I was young. It took flipping hours! I can’t remember carving a pumpkin. Again I don’t think pumpkins were a thing then. We played ducking apples, bobbing apples and told ghost stories at home. We also had all orange and black food. I can’t remember what but it was supposed to be scary.

My children are grown up and moved out now except for a 19 year old. She doesn’t seem excited about Halloween this year.

I will have my grandchildren over on Saturday night as their parents are working a night shift. We won’t be going trick or treating this year. They can dress up and we’ll play Halloween games instead. And make some orange food.

Sleepovers weren’t a thing when I was growing up either but all my children were invited to sleepover from about age 7. They loved sleepovers with friends.

@BluebellsGreenbells

I would prefer a neighbourhood party or something, if anything at all

Well organize one!

Life doesn’t drop in your lap you know.

My child isn't old enough for any of this yet and we haven't long moved into a new area so no, I'm not going to organise a Halloween party for strangers' children during a covid pandemic but thanks for the patronising advice. Maybe when my child is old enough I will organise a party for their friends as an alternative to trick or treating.
People all have different experiences of Halloween and it is quite obnoxious to suggest that some people are 'infantantilising the elderly' by recalling how frightening some people find it, or are somehow neglecting their children and causing them to live in perpetual misery because they don't buy a load of single-use tat and get them to knock on strangers' doors to ask for sweets. It sounds as though some areas have a really good set-up with a huge uptake of mutual enjoyment and participation which I think is great, but is it really beyond the imagination of some people to acknowledge that this isn't the case everywhere?

Trick or treating is very organised around here, kids only knock on doors that are decorated and stop at decent time
Lots go out there way to decorate and provide sweets etc and all young ones are accompanied
Mine loved it when little
Sleepovers why did your parents not allow you ?

When we go tick or treating we only ever knock at doors with decorations/pumpkin outside so those people have opted in . Its a fun activity. I only did it once as a kid as it wasn't such a thing and just knocked on peoples doors we knew.

I always liked the kids trick or treating in our neighbourhood, it's one of the few widespread events where you see all the kids out and around. Lots of people do special things for the kids too.

I can't really think why I wouldn't let them. There is probably too much emphasis on getting a lot of candy these days, it seems every holiday become infected with consumerism, but I can't see that as a reason to to celebrate them at all.

You missed out I'm afraid op.

Re : sleepovers my children went when they were older and i often knew parents through school and we had done play dates etc first
I also taught my children what is and is ok etc
I love the fact my kids friends feel comfortable in our home and that my kids know its ok to have friends round after all its their home too .
We have to take some risks and I wouldn't let them when little go to a complete strangers house but nothing in life is without risk and often can be family members as well but we use our best judgement
They went to clubs and other places as well technically all a risk

I don't live in whats considered an affluent area and some if the kids here are little brats
But halloween kids and teenagers are all well behaved i think fact there are a lot of adults out with younger ones keeps the teenagers in check
Fireworks now thats a different story

a slippery slope to the occult

Haha haha then I must live in the village if the dammed as every other house is decorated for Halloween this year. I think I people have made more effort this year which is lovely.

Halloween was one of the highlights of the year when I was a kid and I loved trick or treating. DS is gutted we can't do it this year so we're going to have a little family Halloween party instead.

In our area decorated houses are up for children trick or treating so we only go to decorated houses who want to be involved. This year we're not knocking on doors but going to look for pumpkins and we'll give treats.

When we were kids we only went trick or treating to houses that we knew (so people on our road, old lady on the next road) and it was kind of prearranged so they knew we were knocking.

I don’t really like the idea of kids knocking in random people’s doors.

@WorraLiberty

This thread.

Every. Single. Year 😂😂

It's nice to have something you can count on.

OP, people enjoy different things. I'm surprised you've made it to adulthood without realizing that.

Great as it is that most people know it's a Scottish tradition, it's actually a Celtic festival that would have been celebrated throughout Britain and Ireland even up to the time when Anglo-Saxon culture dominated England. Even as Christianity replaced the variety of pagan belief systems on the islands, it adapted the native practices of Sabhain/Winterfilleð/Vetrnætr into it's celebrations, ie, All Hallows Eve/All Saints Day. Over the centuries mainly only Scotland and Ireland managed to hold onto these traditions. (And eventually export them to America.) But make no mistake, Halloween has it's origins in England/Wales/the Channel Islands and many parts of continental Europe too.

@teaandtoast49 I wonder if your parents had high anxiety levels or were quite controlling of you as a child. It is reasonable as a parent to put boundaries in place and ensure safety, but without stopping your children developing independence and having fun experiences.

For example, as a child I did trick or treating but for many years did this with my parents going around the houses as a group of friends and family. I went to sleepovers with children at houses who's families my parents knew well. As a mid to older teen, they trusted me more to establish what friendships and homes were safe or unsafe. I think those are a reasonable balance and I never had any unsafe experiences through these things.

’m pretty sure Wiccans believe in God hmm they just also believe in Goddess

not the Christian "God", of course they don't. It's pre-Christian

@Windyone, @TheKeatingFive, @SleepOhHowIMissYou: I knew I'd get that reaction but Mumsnet is a site where we're allowed to express different opinions. I'm not saying that others have to stop because of my beliefs but it's one of the reasons (along with the begging / knocking on strangers doors aspects) that I never allowed my DC to do it.

I'm a Christian so my beliefs are firmly rooted in the bible. Yes, there are some aspects of Halloween that could be deemed to have Christian-based elements to them but the bible is clear that Christians should stay away from non-Christian occult practices so that is what I and my family do. Is there anything non-Christian about wearing a princess costume and eating sweets? Absolutely not, so every year (except this year), my church has a huge "light party" on 31 October, so there's loads of games, sweets, dressing up if wanted (but not in Halloween costumes), etc so we are very definitely not against fun. But is there something iffy about wearing a devil costume and telling someone that you'll do something nasty if they don't give you a sweet? Yes, there is, in my view.

you'll find that the only people who actually believe in the devil (and God) are those who follow religions with Old Testament dogma.

You mean the Torah where Satan and God make bets with each other and where, when there is a penance afterlife, it only lasts at max a year (and only then for the very worst) rather than the very Christan idea of eternal damnation? That 'Old Testament dogma'?

Allhallowtide is part of the Christian liturgical year as a time to remember the (faithful) dead. How that has been interpreted has varied as widely as the areas that have been converted which is why there is the overlap with Samhain's "to ward off evil spirits" in areas connected with the UK while many other traditions like Día de Muertos have absolutely nothing to do with warding off evil, but connecting with our ancestors (whether they're faithful or now). Some churches try to remain stricter to Allhallowtide than others, it doesn't make them 'Old Testament'.

There is no direct equivalent in Judaism, most of the remembrance traditions have to do with marking off time of specific deaths rather than a communal tradition for all deaths, and they also aren't connected to any concept of warding off evil from outside -- the accusations against a person after death are traditionally within many branches of Judaism from accusers (Satan can be translated as accuser) made from a person's own misdeeds, creating one's own pain in a way that, as I said, are cleansed after death, some believe faster if certain prayers are said at different time intervals after death.

I get why some don't like it and why others think it's great fun - that how all traditions are. Trick or treating isn't big where I am in the Midlands, so mine previously went to Halloween parties with their friends even though we only dress up as variants of skeletons as we celebrate Día de Muertos at home.

Around here a pumpkin outside is an invitation to knock. Everyone respects this and don't bother people who don't want to play. It's fun. That's enough of a reason isn't it?