to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

[teaandtoast49]

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

My parents were the same about trick or treat. My mother in particular thought it was akin to blackmail. However I do think your parents were odd for not allowing sleep overs.

We always went trick or treating as kids altho my mum always let us she didn’t particularly love it so maybe it wasn’t the done thing were we live prior to my generation ?

I love I since have had the dc and they love it , most people around here only knock if there are decorations or pumpkins on display . I spend about 3 quid on some multi packs of sweets and the dc love handing them out as much as they love getting them from other houses

People go to a lot of effort around here and there are a lot of older people to that seem to love it

Shame we can do it this year tbh

Sleepovers are a serperate thing and dc have not been on any yet except to cousins house so Iv not really had to think about them as yet

Guising is a big thing where we live. Practically the whole village is out on the streets and it's a lovely atmosphere. Kids only go to houses that are decorated.

As I said I live among lots of elderly people so we try to discourage them from coming down our street.
We even tried signs and it didn’t work.
Also, if someone doesn’t want to, then they shouldn’t. Is that the whole point of the pumpkin ‘rule’, or is everyone meant to be pushed into doing it now? Should my scared 85 year old neighbour just do as well then? That’s odd.
Don’t want to get involved in trick or treating, well you just should anyway. Nope.
I think lots of people think they can make it a thing in this country (I also remember Halloween parties and activities when I was young, absolutely no trick or treating went on), I think you will get pockets of it but it won’t be widespread.

I hate trick or treating and would never do it with our kids. I just don't get it. I'm so relieved that there won't be any this year.

And I don't allow sleepovers either for the time being having a few nightmares. Nothing to do with protecting the children, it's to protect me from how evil they are the next day as they didn't sleep.

Each to their own.

@AliceMcK - strange answer.
car accidents happen do you take that risk with your kids.
Bullying at school, do you take that risk and send them to school?
Abuse often happens in the home, do you ever leave them alone with an uncle or their father?
So many risks in the world

I don’t particularly like trick or treating. I think it’s fine if you’ve got little kids who want to dress up and they go round with parents and only knock on doors that they either know or who are participating. What I don’t like is the groups of older kids that go round, on their own, half of the time with no costume or just a crappy mask. And they ask for money. We’ve had this several times and it makes me feel so sorry for the older more vulnerable people that they knock on. It can be very intimidating.
And the whole point of it is trick or treat. I bet 99% of the kids don’t have a trick!
We just have a little tea party at home.

When we lived on an estate trick or treating was fun, partly because the kids used to make such a big effort with their costumes & the majority of houses would join in. Now we live on a busyish road & for the last couple of years, nobody has knocked except DD & her friends. I had loads of sweets left. Next year I’ll get a few in just in case.
I’m ok with sleepovers but DD didn’t have them as young as some of her friends ( they started at 5).

"I think lots of people think they can make it a thing in this country (I also remember Halloween parties and activities when I was young, absolutely no trick or treating went on), I think you will get pockets of it but it won’t be widespread."

Err, I think that ship has sailed!

Sorry I don't know how to highlight that quote from a PP.

As a kid we went trick or treating at the houses on our street which had pumpkins and my mum came with us. Hardly risky to take sweets from neighbours that you see on the street all the time especially with a parent there.
We also had sleepovers and I was always so excited. If you’re concerned about other parents can’t you host sleepovers at yours?

@LEELULUMPKIN I only mean trick or treating, not Halloween itself

a slippery slide to the occult

Assuming that by occult you mean devil worship then you'll find that the only people who actually believe in the devil (and God) are those who follow religions with Old Testament dogma.

These religions have their own occult elements (the Holy Ghost) and the scary costumes were intended to ward off evil on the night that the veil was thinnest between the spirit world and ours.

I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right,

Why do you think they were in the right though? It sounds awfully sad and restrictive to me, sleepovers in particular.

Halloween isn't begging. Halloween is going to local houses where people are waiting and wanting to give the children treats to make the kids happy and they can personally feel the joy of giving.

I love to have extra special sweetie bags made up for all the wee girls and boys visiting in awesome and sometimes very inventive costumes, marvelling, eyes wide at the Halloween display I put on.

I agree! Trick or treating is ridiculous. The entire year it’s “don’t accept sweets or treats from strangers!- they might be dodgy” then on one night of the year- “sure, go right round to lots of strangers houses and accept their sweets! It’s totes fine!” 🙄
Also as pp have objected that it’s “fun”, it’s actually not at all fun for many elderly/ disabled people who struggle to answer the door and find it distressing. If you are unable to have fun without knocking on the doors of complete strangers then I feel sorry for your kids because you clearly have very little imagination!

Trick or treating wasn't a thing when I grew up, so I have no desire to foist a tradition on my kids that is not ours.

People will then roll up and insist trick or treating is "Scottish" or something, but it was cobbled together from regional Scots traditions and the Dutch, then imported back from the US.

Not to mention, it's just rude knocking on people's doors, as well as the threat - which is often implemented - of pelting their homes with eggs or toilet paper, or putting fireworks through the letter box. I have no wish to encourage this.

Enjoy the cultural traditions you grew up with, sure, but I didn't grow up with it - and that's the late 90s to early 00s - so why should my kids? I'm not about to make them celebrate other culture's stuff.

My children never went trick or treating because it really wasn’t much of a thing here in the uk in the 1990’s but I do love seeing my neighbours children dressed up and having fun, I love giving them sweeties and coming to the door in my own ‘scarey’ outfit!

If you don’t like it, good for you, but don’t begrudge kids having fun. Especially in the current climate, we all need fun. If there is a pumpkin outside then come and knock, otherwise be miserable, but please don’t deny others their own choice.

@AliceMcK because life is a balance of risks? By your logic then playdates should be out too - plenty of scope for sa there. Actually the safest thing for children would be to keep them away from all male relatives, what with most sexual abuse happening in the home.

Although I appreciate that nowadays people only go to decorated houses for trick or treating my memories are:

This idea came over from America about 25 years ago - and it had caused a lot of problems over there with children threatening households but hey lets follow America.

The idea of trick or treating would normally be known as 'obtaining money or goods with menaces' - a criminal offence. I remember eggs being thrown or flour in the past.

When I was young there may have been a house party with bobbing the apple and other games but no way would children terrorise a neighbourhood.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou

It's good that it's become "Americanised" as the rules are simpler now. You want people to knock, decorate with a pumpkin. If you don't, then don't decorate and people won't knock. Not hard to grasp.

Previously, the rules were slightly foggy and those that hate Halloween had a good reason to whinge about "begging" children.

I've always loved Halloween and we go all out (we've done Alton Towers Scarefest this year but love Universal's US Fright Nights and try to go every couple of years).

Western Halloween has become an amalgamation of all types of Autumn equinox/Harvest/Summer end festivals for different beliefs and there are elements of Samhain, Day of the Dead and All Saints in the mix.

I believe so many people are prejudiced against Halloween because of the distrust and fear towards Pagan and Druid festivals and incorrect associations with Devil Worship. For what it's worth, Pagans, Druids and Wiccans do not believe in the devil, nor God either. Samhainphobia exists too but people are rarely introspective enough to look at their own fear/dislike objectively and tend to blame the event itself to validate their feelings.

I’m pretty sure Wiccans believe in God they just also believe in Goddess.

People will then roll up and insist trick or treating is "Scottish" or something

Gosh, imagine Scottish people having their own traditions and rituals? The god damn cheek of them. 😳

Anyway, the ancient festival of Samhain in Ireland is a very important starting point. Google it. You don’t have to take part in any traditions you don’t want to, but educating yourself is a brilliant thing to do.

My DC wouldn't go to sleepovers so not an issue, we are the sleepover house for DDs friend.
Halloween is a fun event it isn't mandatory.
I enjoy shopping for treats and opening the door to lots of fun costumes we only knock at decorated houses who happily participate. I've lovely memories of bobbing in spit water for apples.
Not this year though.
I wouldn't say your parents are right.

I get you... before coronavirus I always said I would not let my children trick or treat and was horrified when people would talk about how they would be going out.

BUT... I decided to throw myself into it this year to give the children something to look forward to. And now I have been swept up into the excitement, I urge you to do the same! Bake some fun cakes (or buy if no time - have you seen M&S Colin Cake?) buy a bit of fake blood, get some skeletons in the windows, they look ridiculous but amuse me.

The children are so excited and I can't believe we haven't done this before. This year we'll be out doing the whole looking for pumpkins in windows thing so bonus that we don't need to knock on people's doors... but when it is 'safe' to do so again, I'll let them knock, as now understand that people dress up their house to signify they would welcome trick or treaters (of course they do!).

Go for it - you might like it!

@Duanphen it may not have been a thing where you grew up but it was a thing where I grew up as far back as the early 70s.

It's quite a magical evening (if not pissing with rain). DS loves it as do I.

This year we are just walking round the streets 'spotting' houses that are decorated - no interaction with buckets of sweets obviously - we are going to buy some sweets and he gets one each time he spots a decorated place.

The only objection I have is that halloween - like Christmas and Easter - does involve a lot of throwaway plastic crap.

@teaandtoast49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

They want to be their children’s pal.