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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed at my parents

122 replies

Honeyandapple · 27/10/2020 21:12

First day back at work tomorrow after maternity leave so I am already nervous about that.

My parents are stepping in as childcare providers for my two DC, the baby is 8months. We have a childminder but she is vulnerable so can't work at the moment.

My parents announced today they are taking my 2 to a 'site of interest' where there are some nice gardens and some things for kids to do. There's a dino trail or something too. They have invited their friends, also grandparents who will bring their 2 grandkids (older than both of mine by a few years).
I'm feeling annoyed because I wanted their focus to be on the baby, their first time looking after her and it's her first time away from me / DH. I can see my DM getting caught up chatting and engaging with friend and not realising baby needs something (she's not a cryer). Additionally it will be 8 people and only 6 are allowed to meet, even outdoors!

OP posts:
Skyliner001 · 27/10/2020 21:15

YABU

StripeyDeckchair · 27/10/2020 21:18

If you want to call the shots you pay for child care.
If your parents look after your children for free then you have to let them do it there way.

Itisbetter · 27/10/2020 21:21

No way would I be leaving my baby with someone going to larger group meet ups Shock

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 27/10/2020 21:22

If its their first time ever having baby on their own i can understand you being worried but they will be fine I'm sure, my parents look after my children during holidays and the youngest whose not at school when we are working theyve learnt the babies quirks and what she likes and dont like and how she likes her day. Leave them to it they'll get their own routine going, good luck back at work

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 27/10/2020 21:23

If its their first time ever having baby on their own i can understand you being worried but they will be fine I'm sure, my parents look after my children during holidays and the youngest whose not at school when we are working theyve learnt the babies quirks and what she likes and dont like and how she likes her day. Leave them to it they'll get their own routine going, good luck back at work

Thedogscollar · 27/10/2020 21:23

I think you have a lifetime of experience right there looking after your children and their grandchildren.
Go to work and let them get on with it. Your parents have done this before.

Stinkyjellycat · 27/10/2020 21:24

YABU

Brunt0n · 27/10/2020 21:27

You either trust them with your kids or you don’t.
If you don’t, and your planned childminder can’t work, time to stump up the cash for a nursery place

Serenschintte · 27/10/2020 21:30

Sounds like a lovely day out for them. They have years of experience behind them.

hiredandsqueak · 27/10/2020 21:32

I'm having dgs (16 months) tomorrow for the day whilst dd works. I would be very miffed if she tried to impose on me what I could or couldn't do whilst I was providing free childcare tbh. I assume that your dp's managed to raise you to adulthood so imagine they will manage fine with their grandchildren as well.

Pipandmum · 27/10/2020 21:35

The 8 people can be annoying, as hard to keep distance. But otherwise for goodness sake they raised you, I think they are experienced enough. If you have doubts, find another childcare provider.

legalseagull · 27/10/2020 21:38

YABU. Have some faith in them and be grateful. It sounds like a lovely thing for them to do and will also distract your baby from missing you. They raised you didn't they? So what if your mum chats to her friend? Baby won't come to any harm in her buggy

keeprocking · 27/10/2020 21:42

Don't worry, I doubt your baby will suffer from not being the centre of attention and the dino trail wont be of interest either!

justanotherneighinparadise · 27/10/2020 21:43

I can see why you’re worried. I wouldn’t like that either.

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/10/2020 21:46

A childminder usually looks after several babies and children at once

marveloustimeruiningeverything · 27/10/2020 21:46

YABU

Waveysnail · 27/10/2020 21:48

Sounds like a nice day out. Yabu

Thehop · 27/10/2020 21:50

Not much you can do really.

PlugUgly1980 · 27/10/2020 21:51

I agree, I wouldn't be happy - breaking rules of 6 for a start. But if you're not happy (which I think your perfectly entitled to be) you have to be prepared to find alternative childcare. I had similar issues with my in-laws, and rightly or wrongly I made it clear if they went against my wishes then they wouldn't look after the children again - their choice, but I also knew that meant I had to be prepared to make alternative arrangements which in our case was paying for more nursery days which I was fine with.

CherryPavlova · 27/10/2020 21:53

How lovely of your parents and how nice for your child.

fruitbrewhaha · 27/10/2020 21:55

Ah goodness it will be fine. They re just going for a walk. Your eldest will be entertained, the baby will be fine and if she isn't they will just pack up and come home. Just the same as if you take the kids out or any other parent. Don't expect them to just sit at home every day

ddl1 · 27/10/2020 21:55

It sounds great! And outdoor meet-ups are best at this time, so gardens sound lovely.

Of course you know your own family: if your baby gets upset by unfamilar people, or you know your parents to be a bit ditzy, you have a right to step in. But the idea itself sounds fine.

Ideasplease322 · 27/10/2020 21:56

Sounds like your parents have planned a lovely day.

Leave them to it it.

Where I am children don’t count in the outdoor meet up headcount.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/10/2020 21:56

Is it maybe just your nerves getting the better of you? Not to be mean, but I know my mind can do that.. focus on one detail that isn't really important to the big picture, when I'm just generally stressed. Also I didn't think young children counted towards the rule of six? I could be wrong - I'm in Scotland where the rules are different - but I'm pretty sure that's the case.

rainbowunicorn · 27/10/2020 21:58

Oh for fucks sake. I am sure your parents will manage just fine to look after the kids and have a nice time catching up with friends at an outside location.

I bloody despair at the way some people think about things. Bloody ridiculous

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