Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be miffed at my parents

122 replies

Honeyandapple · 27/10/2020 21:12

First day back at work tomorrow after maternity leave so I am already nervous about that.

My parents are stepping in as childcare providers for my two DC, the baby is 8months. We have a childminder but she is vulnerable so can't work at the moment.

My parents announced today they are taking my 2 to a 'site of interest' where there are some nice gardens and some things for kids to do. There's a dino trail or something too. They have invited their friends, also grandparents who will bring their 2 grandkids (older than both of mine by a few years).
I'm feeling annoyed because I wanted their focus to be on the baby, their first time looking after her and it's her first time away from me / DH. I can see my DM getting caught up chatting and engaging with friend and not realising baby needs something (she's not a cryer). Additionally it will be 8 people and only 6 are allowed to meet, even outdoors!

OP posts:

Audreyseyebrows · 28/10/2020 00:39

You obviously don’t trust her so I would hold off going back to work.

grassisjeweled · 28/10/2020 00:43

Honestly they'll probably only do that once. And then realise it's just not worth it!

CuppaZa · 28/10/2020 01:04

YABU. If you have a problem with it, make different childcare arrangements

notanoctopus · 28/10/2020 01:50

@Honeyandapple

ou seriously think that people like me don't know to organise car seats and pushchairs?

Beside the point really but they will not know how to organise the car seat and will need to be shown tomorrow. Same with the pram, they tried once before and couldn't get it fold or up with out my help. It's a buggaboo and they're not easy. I did a bottle demo the other day as they've not made formula before. There's loads to remember and it has been 30 years since I was a baby! Their only child. And the childminder I mention had DC1 prior to covid. So yes, FYI I do have worries they won't know how to do everything. Wouldn't that be normal.

Yes, totally normal. This is mumsnet though so any "free" childcare means any thoughts or concerns you have need to go out of the window! I guess if I was babysitting GC (I don't have GC, my kids are small), I would without question take into consideration my children's views and would certainly try to make day one of them going back to work as stress free as possible! There needs to be some give and take with childcare arrangements. Good luck OP.

Brefugee · 28/10/2020 09:03

There's loads to remember and it has been 30 years since I was a baby!

Preparation is everything. So not only are they stepping in because you literally can't get anyone else, you haven't even had the courtesy to write them some instructions or spend time with them letting them get used to things?

It's one day a week. With respect, calm down and let them get on with it.And enjoy your day at work (and don't spend it fretting)

Original poster

Honeyandapple · 28/10/2020 15:17

you haven't even had the courtesy to write them some instructions or spend time with them letting them get used to things?

How did you arrive at that stupid conclusion.
I've even mentioned that I have taught them how to make up formula, shown how the carseat works and the pram (but they weren't getting it). Basic instructions have been written, obviously.

OP posts:

marveloustimeruiningeverything · 28/10/2020 15:22

I'm just a bit astounded you've left it all so late to make sure they know what they're doing with your 8 month old when you're worried it's been so long since you were a baby and you were the only one.

derxa · 28/10/2020 16:12

What do you think might happen OP?

DottyFlossie · 28/10/2020 16:17

YABU

MentalLockdown · 28/10/2020 16:19

Best wishes for your return to work.
The good news is your children will be absolutely fine for a day but your parents will be over tired after there ambitious plans.
My youngest is now 14 - it would take me a while to get to grips with all the new equipment, so you are right they wil need to get a shift on.
I hope your DH is around to handle their concerns so you can concentrate on first day back.

saraclara · 28/10/2020 19:20

I haven't started having my granddaughter for the day yet, but we've been building up to it since lockdown ended. Having her for an hour, then two...practising putting her in the car seat and opening and closing up the pushchair... Basically everything to do with her care.

This should have been going between you and your parents ever since the idea was mooted, surely?

Caterina99 · 28/10/2020 19:52

I’d be delighted if my parents or in-laws did this with my kids. I agree I’d probably privately have some reservations, but I’m sure they’d be fine, it would just be that it would be so tiring for them. Especially if they weren’t used to having them for a long time. When my youngest was 8 months my oldest was under 3 and a runner.

Plus there’s 2 of them. One to chase the older one and the other one to deal with the baby. And their friends to help too. They’ll have fun.

Covid regulations are another matter. Yanbu to not be happy about that part if it’s against your rules

ExclamationPerfume · 28/10/2020 19:55

You are very ungrateful. If you don't like it organise an alternative. Not everyone has family to call on.

DaddysGirlforlife · 28/10/2020 19:56

YABU. You forget your parents are already parents. They've done it all before. I mean if they were shit parents, you wouldn't leave your kids with them. Sounds like you have separation anxiety?

Tiersforfears · 28/10/2020 19:57

YABU 100% that actually sounds like a lovely and thoughtful day out where your parents are thinking about the kids and bringing other children along so your older child won’t be bored. Not just plonking them in front of TV.

As others have said pay for childcare if you don’t like the free childcare they are giving you.

flaviaritt · 28/10/2020 20:09

Miffed because your free childcare will be chatting to their friends as well as looking after your kids?

OverTheRainbow88 · 28/10/2020 20:17

It’s weird how so many people are saying it’s fine; relax; 8 people is fine; yet on Christmas posts about people having 7 for Christmas Day they are selfish and murderers!

eatsleepread · 28/10/2020 20:44

YABVU.

keepgoingorstop · 28/10/2020 20:58

@OverTheRainbow88 not many are anticipating Christmas outdoors though, so not a comparison.

@Honeyandapple childminders and nursery's have settling in days etc, is this the very first time they'll be alone with both children?

Ideasplease322 · 28/10/2020 20:59

@OverTheRainbow88

It’s weird how so many people are saying it’s fine; relax; 8 people is fine; yet on Christmas posts about people having 7 for Christmas Day they are selfish and murderers!

But this is outdoors? Children don’t count and surely it’s within the rules?

MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat · 28/10/2020 21:04

But this is outdoors? Children don’t count and surely it’s within the rules?

For the third time...

OP is in England. Everyone counts. A one day old baby counts.

Ideasplease322 · 28/10/2020 22:03

@MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat

But this is outdoors? Children don’t count and surely it’s within the rules?

For the third time...

OP is in England. Everyone counts. A one day old baby counts.

Okay. Sorry 😂😂😂😂

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.