To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

My DD started reception this year 3 days after her 4th birthday, mainly because the best school in our catchment would not agree to start her in reception at CSA instead of year . I was a little worried as she had missed a term of nursery due to Covid but the progress she has made in the past 6 weeks with reading and writing is amazing. I had tried to teach her reading and writing myself during lockdown but didn’t really get anywhere. She’s gone from not being able to hold a pencil correctly to being able to read and write her full name and most words in the first 2 phonic groups. Her teacher told me she was very surprised to learn that she was the youngest in the year from a confidence/social perspective.

They are likely to only be offered the Year 1 class, with their age peers.

@zingally this depends very much (sadly) in location and school (we luckily live in an area amenable to deferral requests). I would agree there is no benefit to missing Reception complexity, but it's not a given.

My niece was born 31st August. She went into reception at the age she should have and didn’t defer. As far as I am aware reception was harder for her than my Dd who is winter born, but now she is in year 1 she is fine and settled and at the same level as the rest of her class.
It’s a difficult decision to make. Does she have any friends going into reception class in September from nursery?

It fully depends on the school I think.

My DD turns 4 mid August and I’m like you, I have seriously considered deferring. She’s still taking long naps during the day which she needs. As a 3rd child she is quite onto things, her sisters are only 6 & 8 so close in age and they play learning games with her. I’m more worried about the physical aspect of her not being able to manage. I’ve spoken to the head who dosnt normally like staggered starting but is happy for her to do part time until she gets use to it. Basically she said they will do what’s best for DD. I know the school having 2 DDs already there and know how good they are working with the younger ones.

Your brother is an idiot, it’s nothing to do with the parents, it’s about the child and what they are physically and mentally capable of. Your DH would know better being a teacher.

The downside of deferring is that there is a risk your child will be put in the correct year group at some stage, maybe the primary school won’t but high schools aren’t as flexible from what I’ve heard.

I would absolutely do it.
I deferred my summer born until the Easter term, absolutely no regrets.

In the absence of special needs, I actually think that just missing Reception and starting straight into Y1 can be better - depends on the child, I suppose.

It was definitely beneficial for my child to start later, from a coping with the school environment perspective, but it was also best for them to join their original cohort, from an academic perspective.

You know your child best so do what you think is right. However

The overall evidence is that summer born children do not do worse than their winter or spring born peers when placed in the correct year group. They achieve similar grades to those who have been kept back a year suggesting it makes no difference on the whole.

You also have to think about exams and if your child will resent the fact he could have had GCSEs etc over and done with by now, or he could be going to uni this year and graduate earlier. He may not like being asked why he’s a ‘year behind’ by other kids either

There are other summer born kids who have gone to school in September and been high achievers (I have one) the cut off date is there for a reason

@zingally

While you are not being unreasonable, as someone who works in a primary school, you can certain ASK, but are unlikely to GET. Or not in the way you want anyway.

You are under no legal obligation to start your child at school until the term they turn 5, but neither are the school under any obligation to start them off in Reception. They are likely to only be offered the Year 1 class, with their age peers. Those children will have formed friendship groups and will have matured in a way your DD just can't do at home. Unless you are able and willing to "teach" the Reception curriculum to your DD at home, including learning to read, your DD will go into Year 1 at a real disadvantage.

While I can see the benefit of holding them back, and why parents want to do it, very few schools will do it (apart from in very unusual circumstances). Personally, I think it's more hassle than it's worth, and actually puts your child at a disadvantage long-term.

Most requests are actually granted. About 75%, if I remember rightly.

@Excitablemuch

I’m a deputy headteacher in a primary school and have a summer born boy of 2. I see summer born children in year R and it really is a mixed bag. I will say that if my DS is not meeting the milestones expected of a 3/3.5yr old then I will consider deferring him. If he is doing everything a 4 year old is doing I truly believe that in most cases they have caught up by Year 2. If he were to have special needs in any area I would defer. Summer born AND SEN makes it very very tough for them and I have seen children for whom it is always a struggle. I would hate that for my child. I will be watching closely and listening to his pre school- and insisting they push him as much as poss and as hard as poss in the run up to school starting - no use molly coddling he’s not going to a special world for ‘young ones’ I will also object if his teachers decide to use summer born as an excuse.... he will need to get on with it!

Goodness I sound harsh!!!

This is brilliant advice. I was going to ask if you’ve spoken to your childminder. If they’re experienced and on the ball, they will be able to give you some kind of insight into whether they think your dd is holding her own. Is she hitting her milestones.

Deferring wasn’t a thing when my summer born dd was young and she was incredibly ready to go to school. Her friend, who I think has some additional needs and born on the 31st August would have fared far better in the year below. But Dds other mid Aug born friend was also well and truly ready. As pps have pointed out, summer born girls generally fare ok. Of course it’s far easier for September born children.

Agree with everyone else in that it's what right for your child.
I'd ask their nursery setting what they think.
I'd investigate your local authority policy.
What local schools do. What are the local primaries like... Are they very academic and no nonsense from the start or do they allow for the journey and age of child. Some schools seem to see reception as a settling in year for school life, others push the learning objectives more strongly. The former I found easier for my late August boy that should have arrived in September.

I'd also look at secondary schools and what there admissions criteria say... For instance if grammar area most would make them take entrance exam when should do for birth date... So would be start of Yr 5 rather than where should be in Yr6.

Its also worth considering outside school activities.. Football is based on date of birth not Yr group so they will be with the year they should have been in for that, scouts etc will move up earlier than school friends etc

We found our summer child seemed behind at beginning of year but came on quickly later in year.. So in Yr 2 we supplemented it with summer tuition.. It really helped with going into juniors and now has very much caught up and excelling in one area.

@Bioprepper

You know your child best so do what you think is right. However

The overall evidence is that summer born children do not do worse than their winter or spring born peers when placed in the correct year group. They achieve similar grades to those who have been kept back a year suggesting it makes no difference on the whole.

You also have to think about exams and if your child will resent the fact he could have had GCSEs etc over and done with by now, or he could be going to uni this year and graduate earlier. He may not like being asked why he’s a ‘year behind’ by other kids either

There are other summer born kids who have gone to school in September and been high achievers (I have one) the cut off date is there for a reason

I have heard similar stories. Of course this is presuming your dd gets decent schooling, is able to attend regularly and so forth. Then there’s practical things. Think how your dd will feel when every birthday party she gets a 5/6/7/8 card when she’s 6/7/8/9 from her friends. She’s going to feel very much like the odd one out. Girls like to fit in.

We deferred my son's start by a year - best thing we ever did, would do it again in a heartbeat. He started in Reception not Y1 - it is NOT an okay option to miss out Reception and go straight to Y1, they learn such a lot of soft skills and behaviour for learning in Reception, and it gives them firm foundations to build on when they do go into Y1. Missing out Reception really is putting a child at a disadvantage. My ds can be returned to his actual year group if it is deemed that he would benefit from this, and they like children back in actual year group before going to secondary school. However, all decisions are supposed to be in the best interests of the child and I struggle to see how missing out a year of primary would be beneficial.

However, my son has been under the paed since a small baby as missing milestones and is developmentally delayed, with an EHCP. He was little more than a baby when we looked round schools, not a preschooler by any stretch of the imagination. For him, that delay allowed extra physio, speech and language, occupational health, acquisition of speech, toilet training. He loves learning and has done remarkably well in his present year group whereas he would have completely been set up to fail had we not deferred.

Had he been a "typical" child but just a young-seeming summer born, I would not have gone down this route. There will be knock on effects throughout the whole of his school life. Instead, I would have explored part time options with the school.

Hi OP,
Where is the evidence you are looking at and are there any studies in particular you are basing your decision on?
I've been a Y6 teacher for 7 years. We keep an eye on summer births as we do all other groups (boys, girls, free school meals, pupil premium, SEN, English as additional language etc). I painstakingly analyse our sats results of a 3 form entry every year (so over 500 chn so far!) and have never drawn any correlation between achievements of summer born chn and others. I have always wondered about it though as we have always been told that it could have an impact. Maybe by Y6 they've caught up?

My son is now 16, as a summer born I started him at just gone 4.
I didn't really see any issues until secondary school. Academically he is fine, socailly however, at lot of his friends are 17, nearly 18 and are going out, having a drink etc. I feel he is too young, but this is his friendhsip group.
Given the choice, I would have deferred his start until he was 5, without a doubt.
Have had 4 since who all started 5+

Don’t listen to your brother. Don’t listen to anyone else. Do what you feel is right for your own child. Every child is different. Some summer born child thrive and do well even being the youngest in class. Some are just not ready.

My ds had to start early and he was age 3 for reception. Then we were able to repeat the year. Everyone told me not to (including the teachers). I went with what I felt was right. And three years later we absolutely made the right decision. He is Oct born and oldest of the class. He was okay when the youngest, but just wasn’t ready for the work load etcZ

There is a reason parents are allowed to make a judgement call about these things. Kids at that age can have significant developmental differences, and some aren't really ready for school.

This was less the case when there was less pressure to do things like read right on schedule, but schools are often so inflexible now that it can cause problems that carry through school if a child isn't ready to do things like read when they expect, or struggles to sit quietly.

My two daughters started school on time, but my son I held back a year even though he would have been one of the older kids in the class.. it was just so clear he wasn't ready, he's always been a late developer, he spoke late, and as it turned out he didn't read until he was about 8.

Contrary to what your brother things, working with kids at home won't really speed up their basic developmental arc. And as a reading tutor I will say kids that are forced to read before they are really ready develop strategies that later cause problems and need to be unlearned, which is difficult and really frustrating for them.

My son is now caught up at 10 and is a really good reader, but many late developing kids can also be late to start puberty, which has cognitive implications for learning in middle school. So I'm happy he's where he is now. It's not like graduating a year later will ruin his life.

My son was born in last week in August so went to school when he was just 4. He had the option to defer starting until January but I thought it would be very difficult to start when friendships would already be established. Both he (and I !) were ready and I felt it was important for him socially. He was very tired at the end of the school day at first but was always in top sets so not a problem academically to have started young.
But if you are at home/not working & able to entertain her (when many of her current friends will be at school & making friends) then do it! The countries where children start school later eg at 6 do seem to do better than the uk educationally.

@ThornAmongstRoses

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

It’s less about age and more about development. Sil is a teacher for reception and tells me that those children who have better self-care skills (eg can use cutlery, feed themselves, wipe their poos, don’t have accidents, are used to socially interacting with kids their age) tend to do better regardless of age. In her experience she finds that the children who went to nursery / childcare settings are nearly always ready while older kids who didn’t aren’t — but she works in a deprived area where it’s quite common to see kids still in nappies at 4.

My daughter is August born. I did consider this doing this briefly but all her peers (friends from nursery and around and about) were starting school and she was desperate to go. She’s now in yr 1 and she adores school whereas her friend who’s September born is a little bit bored as she’s too advanced and not enjoying it. So I’d be a bit careful, being the oldest may make you more likely to be academically clever but that’s no good if you’re disengaged with learning. Also my child is skips and jumps ahead of some older ones in the class - every child is an individual

By deferring you are setting all her academic milestones in life by a whole year, which will ultimately translate into career milestones being delayed.

@sst1234

By deferring you are setting all her academic milestones in life by a whole year, which will ultimately translate into career milestones being delayed.

Not sure I agree with this. Is anyone really going to pay much attention to the fact that OP’s daughter born (eg) 10 August is in the same academic year as my son born 1 September? When you apply for jobs people may have taken gap years, moved around different industries etc. Nobody really notices what age people are, beyond a vague “early twenties, mid twenties” once they leave school. Plus age discrimination is illegal.

@sst1234

By deferring you are setting all her academic milestones in life by a whole year, which will ultimately translate into career milestones being delayed.

Your talking about a child who if was born 5 days later would be the year below anyway.

Really that close to the line, it comes down to how ready the child is. Not a date on the calander or a time on a clock.
Its about a child starting their education when it is most appropriate for the child to do so.

My summer born skipped reception and stayed at his nursery school then went straight into Y1.
It worked for us but (caveat) we had no concerns about his academic ability. We opted for going at 5 to give him more time to have the social skills.
None of ours started until the term after their 5th birthday (one spring term, one summer term). We decided the benefits outweighed sending them younger. We were prepared to home educate if a place wasn’t available but knew that was highly unlikely. They did go to an out of catchment school which was a smaller village school with one form entry.

To add...

... the friendship thing didn’t have any weight for us. Children will make, change and lose friends along the way. We still had play dates with those that had already moved up and when he joined the school they were all excited about it.

For our middle child we knew she’d be more comfortable in a small intake where everyone else knew what to do and she could follow without drawing attention to herself which she hated.

If you can defer then I really would (so long as she can then go into Reception and not Year 1 next summer). I have an August DD too and it was a nightmare for her. In her school at the 11+ all the academic scholarships went to girls who were born in September - November and there was a survey a while ago that showed that there was a much higher proportion of autumn borns getting Oxbridge places so it is a thing all the way through school.

Reception is really no different to nursery, its a transition so I do think you really need to think about it carefully and obviously think if your dd needs to be held back.