To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

They will always e kids who will have to okay catch up. You are only moving the goal post so it's not your DD.

You act as though parents who defer their summer borns are doing something wrong.

Children are not legally required to be in school until they’re 5 so there is nothing wrong with a parent wanting this to happen.

There will be many personal anecdotes of high achieving Summer Borns, but research and statistics show that Summer Borns are at an advantage and they do fare worse at school.

There nothing wrong with a parent doing something perfectly legal to try and prevent their child struggling at school.

Just because ‘some kids have to play catch up’ doesn’t mean I have to put my child in a position where she may be one of them.

I imagine most parents would do what they can to ensure their child can meet their academic potential, be it Private School, personal tutors etc, and if that is not seen as a problem then I don’t think allowing a child to start school when they just turn 5 instead of when they turn 4, is a big issue in the grand scheme of things.

You act as though parents who defer their summer borns are doing something wrong
Not at all. I think there are very good reasons to do so. Lack of maturity being the obvious one.

But it doesn't seem to be the case with OP's child, she just doesn't want to take any risk that they could potentially not end up being in the top group.

@CheetasOnFajitas it is such a postcode lottery. We're lucky that our admissions area understands the guidance and follows it.

Sadly right now the onus is on the parents to educate the schools quite often and you're right it can be draining, time consuming and the parent may not win. But it doesn't mean they shouldn't fight and the more who do, the easier it will be for future parents to have the same choice. It's a really emotive topic!

Don’t the school have a nursery class as well as a reception? When I was teaching the four year olds were in a class that had different expectations in the nursery than the reception. The youngest children even had a staggered start to school the eldest in the mornings for a couple of weeks and the youngest in the afternoons. Playtimes were at a separate time to the rest of the school and in a smaller area. Why don’t you check with the school and next year your little one could have matured and be ready to enjoy it.

But it doesn't seem to be the case with OP's child, she just doesn't want to take any risk that they could potentially not end up being in the top group.

It’s not about wanting her to be in then top groups, I’m pretty sure there are many Autumn and Winter Borns aren’t in the top groups. I am well aware that just because she may turn 5 a few weeks before some of her classmates doesn’t mean she will end up in the top groups.

I just want to avoid her potentially struggling. I want her to thrive, enjoy school and learning, not just cope and always feel she is behind the other children.

My friend has got a Summer Born who has just started reception and after 8 weeks their get given a report of the teacher’s initial opinion.

My friend has been told her son is below average in all areas. She spoke to the teacher about it who said that in Reception they expect children to be able to do x, y and z and her son can’t. My friend said she didn’t think was fair as he had only just turned 4 so it wasn’t right to judge his abilities alongside those of older children, but the teacher said that’s just what happens.

So already, only 8 weeks into formal education he’s classed as below average - he’s got that label already. My friend is so upset about it

Why don’t you check with the school and next year your little one could have matured and be ready to enjoy it.

They do have a pre-school attached, for children to have a year there before starting reception if the parents wish, but the hours don’t fit our childcare needs so it isn’t an option.

she just doesn't want to take any risk that they could potentially not end up being in the top group.

That's not what I got from the thread OP. And I have also seen this labelling.

I’m genuinely not bashing people who choose to defer. But you ask why shouldn’t you choose to defer because parents of other summer borns choose not to. That’s a fair enough point if most people don’t defer. I chose not to defer my August born child and as far as I can see there are no deferred children in her class. If there one or two I would be okay with that. But if I made my judgment on thinking she would be educated with a group that were aged up to just under a year older than her and then found a fair proportion of her class being born in the April to August in the year before her, then it would be a very different learning environment to what I had anticipated. So yes you should absolutely do what you think is right for your child. But I think if more and more people do defer it would be naive to think that there wouldn’t be a bigger picture to look at re impact on all children and in particular summer borns who weren’t deferred.

It seems a mess now with 17 months age range possible in classes. Since statistics show age makes a difference in results right through the education system and 11+ adjusts makes according to age, perhaps age allowance should be I given at GCSE and A level too.

I don’t think deferring puts the child at any huge academic advantage.

In my son’s year, two of his best friends have September birthdays and one in October, so a deferred August born would only be 6-8 weeks older than those children. It’s hardly a huge disparity.

The point of deferral is just to try and prevent the child struggling when they aren’t ready for school and don’t legally have to be there for another year.

Why should children have to start school a year before they are legally required to which can then put them at a disadvantage?

If people don’t want to defer their Summer Borns then they don’t have to, but that doesn’t mean other parents should be forced to send their children to school a year before they actually need to be there.

Every parent of a Summer Born has the right to choose to delay the entry - some choose to do it and some choose not to for a variety of reasons. Parents shouldn’t make their decisions based on what other parents are doing.

I applied to defer my summer born, the application was refused so she stated reception at just 4. She wasn’t ready. We finally won our battle with the council in February where they conceded they had acted wrongly in refusing to allow her to start reception at 5 and she had been able to repeat reception. She is a different child at 5 than at 4. Much more receptive to the school routine and formal learning - although 5 is still very young to teach reading compared to most other countries. It’s not about academics, for me I wanted her to have her full 2 years of pre school as a September born child would And not be rushed into reception at 4. I felt she would benefit from time to play. I have been very fortunate that her primary head teacher is very supportive and there are many other summer borns in the school who started at CSA.

There are a lot of misconceptions but she will remain with her adopted cohort and won’t skip a year.
The Facebook group - flexible school admissions for summer borns was a huge source of information and support.
I really believe this is a valuable and have committed along with another mum to help applicants in our local authority to ensure parents are able to exercise their right to choose what is nest for their child.

But if lots of parents choose to defer and I don’t then their decisions do impact on my child’s learning environment! And yes a late August deferred child would only be a week or two older than the oldest children in the group. But what about a deferred April born?

[quote BasinHaircut]@MissOrganisedMe but to counter that (just playing devils advocate here) if they need things tailored so they don’t get bored, then perhaps they are ready for school?[/quote]
@basinhaircut not tailored in that they are changing the EY curriculum for them.

They're still learning but just not regimented like a school environment.

I suppose it's just the boredom comment. They'll not get bored so long as they're engaged in what they're doing.

But if lots of parents choose to defer and I don’t then their decisions do impact on my child’s learning environment!

But that’s your choice.

If a parent was genuinely concerned about their child’s learning environment as a result of their child being younger then they would defer them.

If they aren’t concerned then they won’t defer. One could argue that it is their parents choice not to defer that is what impacts on their child’s learning.

Every parent is entitled to the choice and it’s up to them what choice they make.

Anyhow - I’m off to work. I will catch up with any further replies when I’m back

@Pl242

But if lots of parents choose to defer and I don’t then their decisions do impact on my child’s learning environment! And yes a late August deferred child would only be a week or two older than the oldest children in the group. But what about a deferred April born?

Flip that logic round. If children who aren't ready for school end up in school they take up a disproportionate amount of the teachers time, having a negative impact on other children's learning environment.

So actually parents deferring are doing both their and your child a favour!

Fgs, just own it op. You want your child to have a better chance to be top of the class.

It just depends on the individual child. Both of mine are summer born, only one in school so far. She turned 4 a week before school started, I knew she would be ready for school though from about age 3 and she was absolutely fine.

She started reading short books in the first term; spelling 3 letter words, simple maths, absolutely no different to her peers. In terms of personal care (going to the loo alone/dressing and undressing) things have been absolutely fine too. Got on with peers, able to share, find solutions to friendship issues and squabbles etc. She would have been bored stiff being at home for another year.

My second won't go to school for another couple of years but if she isn't showing the signs of being ready then maybe I'll defer but to be honest; I doubt it. Reception really isn't that different to nursery and most learning is play based.

I'm also summer born and a number of friends and family are too and there isn't one adult I know that has been disadvantaged academically. My "youngest in the year" friend is actually the brightest and most successful of all my peers. I know this is all anecdotal evidence but I really believe in real life experience and instinct over stats when it comes to making decisions for my kids.

You know your child best. Do what is best for her. I hated sending my 4 yo to school and she struggled for a few years. Yes, I'd defer if I'd had the option

If you go down the route of saying “it’s the choice of parents not to defer” that impacts their child’s learning, then you’re basically implying that all summer borns should defer as default. And only join their “proper” year group as an exception if they are deemed ready.

Whether you agree with the policy around deferral or not, it is clear that the policy intention behind the current rules is that children should join their age group unless there’s a good reason not to.

Of course parents should make individual choices with their own children in mind. I don’t disagree.

But my point remains that if more and more people do defer, then people like me who were happy not to defer may defer because their child is likely to be in a class with more children up to 12-17 months older, rather than up to 12 months with perhaps one or two deferred children.

If the numbers get to that sort of tipping point you do have to wonder what the government would do about the deferral policy. It would seem likely the rules on deferral could be tightened up again to prevent classes spanning a 17 month age gap.

So, yes do what you feel is right for your child. But there could definitely be a bigger picture impact if deferral rates increase.

I think it this does become a thing, teachers will have to start making more allowances for children’s ages than they do at present.

Its unlikely parents would decide to defer April children without good reason. Just the same as very very few September to December children are deferred in Scotland.

Parents don't defer lightly, it's a massive decision between worrying will they be bored in preschool, or will they be the kid whose lost out their depth in school.

You want them to fit academically and socially, not just starting school but in the later years, the transition to high school, there can be a massive difference between 10 and 11.5 and being older in school.

I just want to avoid her potentially struggling. I want her to thrive, enjoy school and learning, not just cope and always feel she is behind the other children
That's fair enough but it sounds like you are inferring statistical data to individual circumstances based on age itself when the correlation is with level of maturity.

There is obviously a correlation between level of maturity (social, emotional, intellectual) and age hence why they are in year group. But that doesn't mean that just because a child is the you hear, they are inevitably more immature.

There will be some 5yos more immature than 4yos and these will likely struggle more than the youngest.

That's why I think your decision has to be based on this rather than her age alone. If she is at a similar maturity level than kids 2 or 3 months older than her, then I don't see the point of waiting another year. If the contrast in maturity between her and those born in April as a whole is obvious, then yes, it makes good sense.

It’s hard to put personal experience to once side. I’m August born and relatively high achieving, that doesn’t mean that I had been deferred I wouldn’t have achieved more.

My DS is October born and one of the oldest in his class. He is in pre-school this year having moved from nursery. I can see kids in reception who are less that 8 weeks older and I can see how they would struggle.

As your dd is meeting all of her milestones and you have no concern, I therefore don’t understand why you would even contemplate holding her back. Your friend’s ds is one child and it sounds to me as though her ds’s teacher has either been rather unkind or she is an overly anxious person. He’s only been in school 5 minutes. He’s got over a decade to catch up.

What I think is missing in your thought process is how your dd would feel being the eldest amongst all of the mindees. My summer born dd was so ready to go to school and incredibly bored of nursery. So were most of the other summer borns in her nursery class and two of those were a little premature, thus should have been in the year below. The only child, who isn’t doing really well is a girl with some additional needs. My thought is may actually be doing her a disservice by doing this as she could get very bored.

My friend was very very concerned about her ds being a summer born. I can guarantee that she would have deferred him but there was no opportunity at the time. He found the regime tough at first. But now that he’s in yr8 and well before, it was absolutely the right thing for him to go to school at 4.